To be irritated by this woman with her baby in the library

[SexDrugsProfiteroles]

Ok we both go to the library. I go with my 4yr old and read while the baby sleeps quite often.

Often another woman goes, also with a (beautiful) 9 month old, cheeky and lively tiny girl. The woman though reads adult books in the children's bit while the baby roams, because we are animated in our reading we attract the baby, out of mums line of sight. She pulls at my 4 yr old dd s clothing, tries to climb on my baby to wake her etc. I've asked a few times can we pick her up, I'm fine with her on my lap entertaining her. However mum doesn't want her "thinking going to strangers" is ok, so says no (well shouts a reply still out of sight from behind a play structure). We can't read with her grabbing the book, trying to use clothing to climb up plus I'm constantly moving my baby from reach (low tandem buggy). Or if my chunk of a 9 month old is awake and about I'm constantly trying to stop her happily squeezing the baby who I can't separate easily.

Now am I missing something? The baby can hang off my trousers out of sight but mum won't let us interact with the baby in a way that lets us read. At least if I entertained her also with the book we could enjoy our books together. Surely if you apparently don't want your child going to strangers you actually STOP them? Obviously my 4yr old is a highly distract able type who will not focus on anything but the baby she can't touch who is pulling at her jumper. the baby is lovely, but a real climber and persistent in attention seeking, very pretty too and mine want to play.

I know it's minor, but it's regular and she irritates me!

really?! I'd probably complain to someone who works at the library to have a word with the mother!! That's ridiculous?!

"Can we read to your baby?"
"No"
"Ok will you come and get her then she's climbing all over my baby"

Have you ever said "Can you take your baby back please, she's bothering my daughter?" or words to that effect?

Next time you ask her to pick up the baby and she says no, tell her she needs to come and move her child as you are not a bloody babysitter she is disturbing your children.

I'd be tempted to pick up the baby and return her to the mother, again and again.

Nocapes with no sarcasm I thought she was hearing impaired until I uttered "well can I pick her up"..... "No"

Then total silence ( she couldn't see me and I did move baby elsewhere with objects to play with and a barrier)

Then she came over 15min later to thank me for asking first and explaining why

Tbh I either now make a barrier and put her elsewhere, or pick her up freely as the woman is out of sight as I'm quickly irritated.

I just wanted to check really....I sometimes feel like I'm in a parallel universe from other mums round here

"Back to mummy" big smile, repeat ad nauseum.

Speak rudely to the horrible selfish woman.

I'd be tempted to pick her up and hand to a Librarian as lost property.

mum doesn't want her "thinking going to strangers" is ok

In which case, why is mum ignoring her and allowing her to go to strangers?

Weird woman.

Out of her line of sight? So irresponsible with a 9mo... Luckily you're the one she goes to as you clearly care about her welfare! I'm at her waiting for 15 minutes to come and talk to you, especially as she's so bothered about her learning about strangers .

Pestilence- brilliant, I laughed out loud.

I don't even mind the baby, I just mind it being there with the weird presumption I should ignore her while she interacts. Playing with 1/2/3 is little difference in my book, but ignoring one is impossible. Today she was actually under desks trying to eat cables, surreal.

WTAF? The mother is totally irresponsible and you are very kind.

Pick her up and take her back to her mum, every single time.

My thinking is as I see her so often in a confined space I don't want too much war fare, as she I'm guessing will be bloody weird.

My dad always said "don't argue with idiots because they drag you down to their level then beat you with experience"... Have a hunch it's one of those

What did you say when she explained her reasoning?

'Are you ok to keep her with you because she's climbing up on to the baby and they're asleep'.
Or sit closer to her so she can see what the baby is doing and you can say 'careful - they're asleep' and 'back to mummy now' etc.
If she still doesn't get the hint then could you take a pile of books to a far, far corner of the library?

I might have started muttering about calling Social Service an irresponsible parents who don't try to keep an active eye on their 9 month olds in public who are desperately seeking attention from strangers. That would have had her moving to collect the baby no doubt.

Honestly. The nerve! She was clearly relying on others to keep an eye on the child while she read ... but pretending she wasn't. Infuriating.

Pestilence - your post makes me think of the brilliant sign in our local library: "Unattended children will be given a double espresso and a puppy before being handed back to their parents."

As someone who has read to the kids of total strangers in the library, I have no issues. Library's are nice places, full of nice books and nice librarians, nice chairs and sometimes one of those beady table things. To be momentarily convinced that this environment of shared communal comfort and activity might be a resonable place for your child to crawl off for a few moments while you browse an encyclopedia of ...whatever, is entirely forgivable.

What I find odder is that this regular situation has never led to an actual meaningful encounter. She shoes her child from you as you offer to read to the child.

Perhaps you give off a vibe?