To be irritated by this woman with her baby in the library

[SexDrugsProfiteroles]

Ok we both go to the library. I go with my 4yr old and read while the baby sleeps quite often.

Often another woman goes, also with a (beautiful) 9 month old, cheeky and lively tiny girl. The woman though reads adult books in the children's bit while the baby roams, because we are animated in our reading we attract the baby, out of mums line of sight. She pulls at my 4 yr old dd s clothing, tries to climb on my baby to wake her etc. I've asked a few times can we pick her up, I'm fine with her on my lap entertaining her. However mum doesn't want her "thinking going to strangers" is ok, so says no (well shouts a reply still out of sight from behind a play structure). We can't read with her grabbing the book, trying to use clothing to climb up plus I'm constantly moving my baby from reach (low tandem buggy). Or if my chunk of a 9 month old is awake and about I'm constantly trying to stop her happily squeezing the baby who I can't separate easily.

Now am I missing something? The baby can hang off my trousers out of sight but mum won't let us interact with the baby in a way that lets us read. At least if I entertained her also with the book we could enjoy our books together. Surely if you apparently don't want your child going to strangers you actually STOP them? Obviously my 4yr old is a highly distract able type who will not focus on anything but the baby she can't touch who is pulling at her jumper. the baby is lovely, but a real climber and persistent in attention seeking, very pretty too and mine want to play.

I know it's minor, but it's regular and she irritates me!

Another approach although I don't think you should have to given the circumstances is to make sure everyone is "introduced" then you are not a stranger and can carry on and interact with the 9 month old.

I like Catanddogs idea. Least drama that way. If she still doesn't want you to interact then get her told!

Could you quietly encourage your 4 year old to cover her baby in stickers? that'll learn her!

Figure out the child's name. Then loudly say, "No, Childname, don't eat that glue!" "No, Childname, fingers don't go in sockets!"

I would say to the mother, "Excuse me, your baby needs you. She is trying to climb up my baby's stroller. I'm sure you would like to keep her closer to you, and not out of your sight like this."

How rude!

Poor little girl. She sounds like she's desperate for attention.

Not your fault, but I can understand why it's awkward. Could you read to your DS on the floor and let her eavesdrop?

I had a similar situation with a toddler at a playground in a stately home
kid attached herself to others
When we moved further away she followed us and then mum acts as though we were somehow luring her away!
Op you need to calmly but firmly tell the mum that if you are not allowed to interact then she needs to keep her baby under control.I don't see why she doesn't read at home? Well I do actually, she is relying on others to entertain and watch her baby. It is not on!

I have vibes I know, nursery teacher.
I can have a 20 child pile over me without meaning to at Sunday school just because of the tone I use when reading quietly to dd in a corner I'm afraid. In play parks I get children talking, I'm quite immune mainly and don't mind children at all.

'Oh given how many times she's been climbing over my kids & pulling at our clothes I'd assumed we were no longer strangers. You're going to have to hold onto her if you don't want her climbing all over strangers aren't you. Lucky it was us really'

Other mum is the one living in a parallel universe.

If she doesn't want the baby to go to strangers she needs to supervise her more closely.

I'd pick the child up and start engaging with her as though the mum had given you full permission. Surely that's win-win: either the mum will come over and retrieve her child as she bloody well should or else at least you're in control of the girl.

I dislike parents who ignore their children and then expect me to mind them to their weird standards.

I'd change my time by 30 mins to avoid them. Ideally switch days.

Switch times, yy. Or pick up baby every time, return to mum, hard stare, 'Your baby is stopping me from reading to my dd'. Walk away. Every. Flipping. Time.

Dpes your 4 yo like drawing on babies??? Get him to do a few tatoo's then send her back

OP,
Give the library a miss for a few days or go a different time if you can.
If you can't or don't think you should then either speak directly to the mother and ask her to look after her child as she is wandering about or complain to the library.
Sounds a strange one though.