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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset about this?

31 replies

whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 21/08/2016 18:26

I didn't finish my university finals the year I was meant to, but completed them the year after and got a 2.1. (I returned home that year.) I'm now starting a competitive job.

I'm quite sensitive about all of this and my mum in particular took it really badly, saw me as lazy and I think thought I wouldn't see it through. She is an anxious person and supported me throughout though. All about tough love Hmm

Fast-forward to now, I have just graduated and about to start job. I have been loafing about the house on my last few weeks of freedom. I am about to start work and as mentioned will be working in a very tough corporate environment - my mum just said "if you foul up next time don't bother coming home".

Aibu to be pretty fucking upset

OP posts:
phillipp · 21/08/2016 18:54

Because she supported you through your tough time, you went home and lived there. You have loafed about for the last few weeks and she is cleaning up for your friend coming over.

While what she said wasn't nice, I imagine she is feeling very anxious for you and frustrated with you.

She is anxious if you do fail, she will have help pick up the pieces again.

And frustrated about you loafing and not doing the pots like she asked. You say you know she is a control freak about the house. In my opinion it's her house, do as she asks.

My mum is extremely tidy. You have to eat biscuits at the dining table. I do it because it's her house and that's what she wants.

whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 21/08/2016 18:56

Philipp - yes, that all makes sense. But I find it quite insulting that she thinks so little of me if that makes sense? That I'm so incapable. I worked full time before and was fine. I achieved excellent grades at school and was fine then. The uni thing was the only blip. I find her lack of faith in me quite offensive and it doesn't spur me on, it makes me feel inadequate and incapable.

OP posts:
whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 21/08/2016 19:11

Anyway thanks everyone for the comments!

OP posts:
phillipp · 21/08/2016 19:18

As I said, it's not nice.

But we all snap when under pressure, anxious and frustrated. I am sure you have said things to your mum that you regret, at some point.

whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 21/08/2016 19:20

Philipp, we do, yeah, but this is a recurring theme with her...

OP posts:
whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 21/08/2016 19:20

Me cocking up/fouling up etc etc

OP posts:
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