To think DP shouldnt go away for his DF's bday

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Hi all,

DP's family have recently started going on holiday for landmark birthdays, DP has been away twice for this without me - I work term time so am unable to go on these holidays. I have a great relationship with DP's family and would like to go on these trips but of course understand they would be crazy to book during school holidays because of the price.

The next one is in march for DPs dads 70th all sounds great but they have decided that this time they're not going to spain for a week (DP Goes for 3-4 nights) but are going long haul for two weeks.

We are getting married and buying a house in the next 18 months which we are supposed to be saving everything we can for. Im also not too keen on DP using two weeks of his limited holiday allowance for a holiday without me.

Am i being unreasonable to think DP shouldnt go?

Can't your DP have a say in timings/location/length?

if his dad wants a big family holiday for his 70th birthday, then at the least i'd expect him to be paying for it.

then it just depends on whether he can spare the holiday, wants to go etc..

be careful with your dp on this though, if his dad becomes ill or anything happens in the next few years you do not want it to be your fault that he didn't go on the big holiday celebration

Are his parents putting pressure on him to go or have they said what their holiday plans are and said they'd love it if he joined them?

My parents often ask me to to join them on their holiday, would love it if I did and are probably a bit disappointed when I say no thank you but it's just not how I want to spend my time and money so I don't feel guilty but it would be easy to feel that way.

I think your discussion needs to start with the amount of AL it would leave him and how that affects the wedding / honeymoon then hoe much it's going to cost and how he'll afford it after bills and savings have come out?
If he says the savings will have to be reduced then discuss what impact this will have on the wedding / honeymoon / house.

Hmm well in my family YABU but in DHs YANBU!! So it really depends. DH & I holiday separately for one week every year - we go with our friends. Other people are horrified by that.

But if DH told me I couldn't go away with friends or family he wouldn't be my DH for much longer.