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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu CAMPING to think safety and supervision seems to go out the window?!

75 replies

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 · 20/08/2016 01:02

Camping: site of around 350 pitches. Wooded, cars travel around site pretty slowly. Park is around 5 minute walk out of site of tents. DH thought I was totally unjust in having real issues with our 6 and 8 year old roaming the site unsupervised as pretty much all the kids were doing. Lots of quite rough behaviour and teens with 'wide ranging vocab' going on. I'm totally up for letting kids have a bit of freedom but I was totally in the monitory and felt like I was being unreasonable - which kids clearly thought I was too. But seriously at home, I bet most would never let their kids go to the shop and park alone??

OP posts:
Egosumquisum · 20/08/2016 09:28

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AnnPerkins · 20/08/2016 09:32

We choose smaller sites for this reason too.

We camped in sites in Dorset last month and 7yo DS absolutely loved being able to ride his bike to the toilet block on his own.

We were pitched in view of the playground so could let DS go over and play on his own but still had eyes on him.

There was still EHU on most pitches so not exactly roughing it. Peaceful and quiet it most certainly was NOT, though. My ears are still ringing from the racket 30 kids make in a playground, all day long.

Egosumquisum · 20/08/2016 09:35

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fluffypacman · 20/08/2016 09:35

I took my children (nearly 3&5) camping last weekend. Mostly on my own but hubby was there to help pack up as he was working the weekend. One of the reasons I chose camping was I'd done it as a kid and remember the friendships I made and the freedom I had. There was a small play area and if I stuck my head out of the tent I could see them. Having got a feel for the campsite there were a few 10 year olds who were lovely lifting my youngest in to the swing and giving her a push. I wanted to hover but feel it's good for their development and feelings of independence to be allowed to wonder often feeling like they're not being monitored when really they are. I didn't have a single drink though until hubby was back and even then am aware for the need to be on alert at night.
We would have had a miserable time if I'd made them stay in the tent while I made dinner or cleared up. The eldest made a camping best friend. I spent a good while supervising both mine at the play park as well and playing with them ( I had no other company after all!). TBH most of the time there was at least one adult on duty.
I did test my nearly 5 year old though. I went to the toilet with my 3 year old and rather than dragging her big sister with us, told her she could stay at the playground or go to the tent. When I got back she was at neither place. She'd wondered off to find us and we'd walked back a different route. She got a serious ticking off and hopefully learnt something. As did I, she's not ready for that level of responsibility. I think camping is the perfect environment to test these things out.

Dakin1 · 20/08/2016 09:37

My sister owns a campsite.

Earlier this week two kids (aged about 5) were running around completely naked, unsupervised.

While this may have been lovely for the kids and parents, there were lots of cars going in and out the site and there is a lake nearby.

Being feral is great but there needs to be some boundaries to make sure the kids are safe

Egosumquisum · 20/08/2016 09:39

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AnnPerkins · 20/08/2016 09:40

Ego this site closes the playground at 'dusk'.

DH and DS loved the site but I couldn't handle the racket. If I went back at all it wouldn't be in midsummer though.

SitsOnFence · 20/08/2016 09:42

I think I stole most of them from eavesdropping on other families MrsDeVere!

KingLooieCatz · 20/08/2016 09:45

DS is an only. This summer has involved numerous campsites and he has made a wee pal within half an hour arrival every time. It has been great for his social skills. He can be a bit precious and inflexible but had to reign it in and learn to give and take, or the campsite pals would just wander off and play with someone else. All child friendly sites, play areas, no pub, EHU. Mostly the other kids' tents/vans were within view but at a site where the wee pal's mum came looking for him I decided in future we'll ask other kid where their family is and have a word if their kid is hanging around our tent.

The freedom for him and opportunity to make friends are the best bit about camping.

AnnPerkins · 20/08/2016 09:45

The freedom is the best thing about camping for kids though.

Our next holiday will be in quite a nice resort in Sardinia. With four pools and hundreds of bungalow-type rooms across a large area DS won't be let out of our sight the whole week.

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 · 20/08/2016 09:47

Fadingmemory your poor son and you! Gosh. What do you think happened?

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Hockeydude · 20/08/2016 09:48

I have to say that allowing a 6yo and 8yo to roam a large campsite/park/lake unsupervised is negligent in my personal opinion. Compare to school and other institutions that deal with kids - if any staff left a 6yo/8yo unsupervised in this way, they'd probably be dismissed.

Egosumquisum · 20/08/2016 09:49

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KingLooieCatz · 20/08/2016 09:51

I do agree common sense has to be applied and account taken of maturity of children and the setting. We used to camp regularly at a very small campsite in woodland. As its woodland you lose sight of people and your bearings quite easily. It was run by the couple that owned, no paid staff. They told us they were frequently up until the small hours helping people find their children lost in the woods. Some ranged alarmingly far. At that time we wouldn't have allowed DS to wander out of view.

TheABC · 20/08/2016 09:53

My DS is a sprinter and a sleep walker. We adore camping, but with a new baby around this year, we did not have the level of attention (or car space) necessary for a camping trip.

So we pitched the tent in the garden and let DS feralize one weekend. Two hours in and he could have auditioned for Lord of the Flies.

NavyandWhite · 20/08/2016 10:05

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whathaveiforgottentoday · 20/08/2016 10:08

I love the freedom on the campsites (normally go to France) but I also love the chance to teach them some responsibility.

We usually start by showing them some boundaries - i,e, you can play in these areas where we can generally still hear them playing. If they want to go further such as going to play area they have to come and tell us. Same applies to going in anybodies else's tents/caravans.

Over the years this has worked quite well and means we know roughly where they are so we can check on them frequently. Swimming pool was obviously out of bounds without an adult.

BarbLives · 20/08/2016 10:14

I let my 6yo play out unsupervised at home, so I definitely do on campsites.

The main dangers are traffic and water. If those aren't an issue, I let him run pretty wild so long as he is with other children - recently we were camping with family and had 5 kids aged 4-7, and just tried to check in on them every 20-30 minutes.

LittleLionMansMummy · 20/08/2016 10:35

Agree it's all about boundaries whathavei and you extend them slightly more each time depending on the circumstances and your child's abilities in those circumstances. Ds is fine around water and on smaller sites providing we show him how to get from A to B. But we're currently on a larger site in France and no way would I let him venture to the park alone because he'd get lost. I know this because he asked if he could go alone and I told him that if he could show dh and I the way home with no help we'd be more confident. He turned the wrong way almost immediately. So no play parks for him just yet unless they're close by. Yet i'm happy to let him go to the toilet block across the way. I'd also trust him to know the rules about not going off with people and being careful around the roads. I think parents are the best people to know their child's personality, knowledge and ability to follow rules and although some clearly have no idea, nor care, what their children are up to, most do and have been through the process of setting appropriate risk assessed boundaries. School rules on safety of children have more to do with a severe aversion to any kind of risk, no matter how small, due to litigation culture and the health and safety regulations they're bound by. As with all things parenting, common sense and a knowledge of our children's ability should prevail.

DailyMailPenisPieces · 20/08/2016 11:18

PP said it's a 'it's a very very safe enclosed environment' - I actually think it's not. Flames and flammable tents that can go up in three seconds, matches, strangers, ropes, dogs, traffic and people reversing with boots full of tents. I wouldn't let my tiny children wander around alone.

Egosumquisum · 20/08/2016 11:20

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MariposaUno · 20/08/2016 11:28

Iv let my 6yr go off with a 8 and 11 yr old to the camp shop/ look at the chickens and generally run wild for hours on end without any input from me but generally never out of sight.

Smaller campsite doesn't guarantee peace and quiet.
I went a to a gorgeous no alcohol rural 30 pitch site.
People clearly drunk, someone deciding to stage a vocal porno in dead of night, loud yoofs on the beach and a dog barking all night along with the Owl hooting..

Loved every minute of that camp trip though.

KeyserSophie · 20/08/2016 11:35

The thing is that whilst I agree that you need to give children independence, people forget that there are risks attached to it, so there will be casualties despite the overall benefits. Just from kids I knew growing up, one kid was blinded in one eye when he hit a stone with a hammer and a chip flew off and 2 other lads fell through the roof of a derelict house and one of them always limped after that- as in, still limped quite badly 10 yrs later so I assume still does. Being in a pack of kids isn't a talisman against stupidity - in fact one could argue it's quite the opposite with younger kids trying to "keep up" with the older ones.

It would therefore have to be a judgement call on the other kids and the overall situation in terms of traffic, water hazards etc, and also about extending boundaries gradually rather than just opening the doors and releasing the "born in captivity" tiger into the jungle.

MrsDeVere · 20/08/2016 11:50

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5moreminutes · 20/08/2016 12:42

Absolutely jumping from keeping kids within arms length at home to giving them completely free reign and not checking on them for hours on holiday is incredibly stupid and a recipe for disaster.

Freedom, rights and responsibilities have to be granted gradually.

That is exactly why people who smoother their kids and don't let them cross the living room on their own or do anything for themselves til the end of year 6 then kick them out the door to make their own way to school across town and main roads and come home to an empty house are such idiots.

It all has to be done gradually, giving your children independence starts the first time they crawl across the room and you watch from the sofa, then once they are toddling you gradually shadow them less closely at toddlers group, and a bit later you don't need to be at arm's length when they play on the play equipment in the park, later you let them pay for things in a shop while watching from the door, then later you wait outside, then you send them to the shop alone if you don't live somewhere where traffic is horrendous, and leave them home alone while you pop to a neighbour, then while you pop to the shop... and so on and so on.

Giving kids freedom on camping trips should be part of the whole continuum, not an all at once isolated oddity. That is also why you can't say "8 is the right age, 6 is too young" or "10 is the right age, 8 is too young" whatever - some 6 year olds will be far more capable and more used to a small amount of controlled freedom than some 8 or 9 year olds, depending on how their parents treat them and where they live when not on a camping holiday.

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