Aibu CAMPING to think safety and supervision seems to go out the window?!

[hugsarealwaysneededhere1]

Camping: site of around 350 pitches. Wooded, cars travel around site pretty slowly. Park is around 5 minute walk out of site of tents. DH thought I was totally unjust in having real issues with our 6 and 8 year old roaming the site unsupervised as pretty much all the kids were doing. Lots of quite rough behaviour and teens with 'wide ranging vocab' going on. I'm totally up for letting kids have a bit of freedom but I was totally in the monitory and felt like I was being unreasonable - which kids clearly thought I was too. But seriously at home, I bet most would never let their kids go to the shop and park alone??

bibbitybobbityyhat I think quite a lot of women could have done with a bear or a gun this weekend....,so many divorces likely from the arguments heard over tent were errection

It's fine if you do a good walk-around with the kids when you get there, make sure there's nothing obviously dangerous etc.

6 and 8 is fine to let them go off, as long as they're sensible kids. And walkie talkies very useful as well

Thank you Egosumquisum when I went to check he was shouting for help and another boy just staring

Smaller sites might be the way to go but I do absolutely need my electric

SortAllTheThings yes radios are a great idea

I remember having similar disputes on camping holidays with my now exH about our two boys. We compromised by firstly doing a reccy of the site ourselves to identify any potential dangers, then putting in place certain boundaries - "you're allowed here here and here but not here, you must stay together, you must be back by such and such time" and we gave the elder one a walkie talkie so we could stay in touch if necessary. I think it's ok as long as there are boundaries in place.

Camping and letting children run around together is not the place for helicopter parents.
Which I'm most certainly not. Which is why it suits us perfectly.
If you are naturally over-anxious perhaps a different style of holiday'ing is best.

Wouldn't let ds (6 in Nov) loose on a larger site and definitely not on his own. But we've begun giving him more freedom on smaller sites where we can see him. We went to a lovely, small, family festival and did the same. It's a perfect opportunity to reinforce those safety messages about always telling us before going off somewhere, not going with other people without telling us first and being careful of roads etc. He knows we're trusting him to a certain extent and if he misbehaves we'll take away that freedom again. He responds really well to it and is possibly more outgoing and "responsible" than other children who have been kept on a tight leash. 8 is definitely old enough for more freedom on larger sites. I'm also always happier with children sticking together - another of our rules is that nobody gets left behind alone. I haven't seen many 'feral' children. I have seen plenty of happy, confident and responsible ones though.

I think over cautious is much better than not cautious enough. You are on a campsite with hundreds of strangers. Just because you are on holiday it doesn't mean everyone around you is safe and friendly.
I also don't like the idea of older kids being responsible for younger ones - not their job imo.

Egosumquisum if the child wants "helicoptering" they stay near their adults of their own accord obviously.

Nobody makes their children go off and play on their own against their will I'd hope.

It's the same (but on a physically larger scale) as with a newly mobile baby - you don't force them to crawl away from you, but they usually cope better and feel more secure moving away from their parent under their own momentum, knowing they can return, than having the parent leave them somewhere and move away from them.

Same rules apply all through child rearing, from 6 months to 21 years I'd say, the child moves away from the parents at their own speed rather than the parent pushing them away, it's just that the playing field gets an awful lot bigger :o

Knowing where your 6 and 8 year olds are is not helicopter parenting.

We let ours go feral but we can see them and they can't see us. We don't let them hang around with much older kids. We tend to oversee the first couple of days til we have got the feel,of the site . Agree we all others who have said camping gives their kids loads of firsts, like unlimited shite cereal ,same clothes worn relentlessly , rinsing dishes not scrubbing . I love it 😬

Have to say though the sites we pick are small with generally just a playground in , no pub , pool etc.

OP, 15 years ago I went with 3 DC to a very well organised campsite. Lots of facilities etc. DS, then 13, was given freedom but one day he disappeared. He was gone so long that we called the police. He has never explained what happened (even to two policemen). I wanted to think he would, do be safe but...

Oh, and it was in the New Forest

Depends entirely on the site. On some of the very large holiday park type sites they're no safer than they would be wandering around our village.

Our DC are 6 and 7 and our rules are:

• NEVER go in anyone's tent/van without coming back and finding/asking us first
• NEVER get into anyone's car, even if you know them
• NEVER go in water deeper than their ankles without one of us watching
• they can free roam the area around our tent/van. This area is anywhere with a clear line of sight back to us. We explain it as if they can turn around and see us, it's ok. If there is something like a shower block in the way, then it's not ok.
• If they want to go somewhere out of area they must come back and ask us. We will then decide if they can and for how long and if one of us needs to take a book and chair and covertly watch

Egosumquisum ah I see what you mean, I thought you were worried about being seen as helicoptering rather than wanting to encourage more independence.

Is he an only or much older / younger than his sibling? I have 3 close in age so its easier because they can go off together (or the older 2 together, or any 2 if 1 doesn't want to or has already made a friend they'd rather hang out with).

Could you take a friend on holiday with you for him to go off and explore with? It is a bit more of a leap for a child to go exploring completely alone than with another child.

Otherwise give him "missions" - to go to the shop and buy you all fresh rolls for breakfast, or to "find out" things for you from reception or by going to the other end of the field and tell you what some mysterious structure in the distance is, to locate the toilet block or the playground to go to later etc. rather than him going off to wander aimlessly and feeling a bit self conscious and lonely.

Mine usually end up making friends after a day or 3... but they have each other to start with, it would take more confidence to go off totally alone to explore and actually meet anyone. They have made friends with only children at the pool though - sometimes in those cases the mum will chat to me and the kids will then look each other over and perhaps start playing together - you can't force it but you can increase the odds by taking them to where there are other kids and not playing "with" them in a focussed way (which is fine in its place but gives off a "we don't want to talk to anyone else" vibe so won't help him meet other children) but chat casually to a parent if they seem open to being a bit sociable...

Oh god sounds like a nightmare, no give me a nice cozy hotel room anytime, especially in the English weather no thanks!