To think this comment was unnecessary

[Bombaypie]

Having pub lunch at our local with DH and the children, 3 and newborn baby.

DD(3) has been swimming with DH all morning and I've been on a cluster feeding marathon with the baby since 5am. Hence we are all pretty tired.

DH technically working this afternoon, so was sending some emails on his work phone. I was on MN on my phone. Baby asleep and DD happily occupied on the iPad playing a children's game while we waited for our food to come.

A woman walks past on her way out for a cigarette, stops at our table and rolls her eyes, saying "the modern family" sarcastically, before walking out.

It just felt so mean and judgemental of a tiny snapshot of our day. I don't think we spend excessive time on our phones etc, and DD had colouring books and reading to keep her entertained as well- but it made me feel self conscious for the rest of the meal.

She was rude to comment but I think I would have been inwardly judging too if I saw 2 parents on phones and the child on an Ipad rather than anyone bothering to interact with the people they are sat with. Perhaps unfair if it's not something you do regularly but I know a fair few people whose kids just get handed the phone/Ipad for short waits so the parents don't have to bother speaking to them which is sad I think.

Oh we've all done it apart from the perfect parents who only actually exist on mumsnet and annoy the fuck out of everyone just ignore. Or call her a modern cunt

Pubs are not the ideal place for a newborn and a three year old as they are places for adults and every one awake on some sort of device so not actually spending any quality time together.

Well, this one has a children's menu and colouring...

Ugh, people are so anti technology! Someone at work always makes comments when people are on their phones at lunch. I once asked what we were all looking at and it was mainly reading emails or news. I pointed out it's no different to when people had their nose in a newspaper or letter back in the "good ole days". They still insisted it's worse on a phone

Rude and unkind.

I remember something similar happening to me years ago before the days of smartphones. I'd met up with a friend in a garden centre cafe and was chatting to her while dd watched us quietly in her buggy. It was nice having an adult chat after entertaining dd all morning and a horrible woman came and commented on me ignoring her and how dd looked resigned. Like you it was a tiny snapshot of our day and was just unkind, patronising and bitchy.

The brass neck of her to pass comment on the way out to have a fag.

I would probably notice it - if I'm honest, I don't really see the point of going out to eat as a family, and then all be sitting on your devices - but it's more than crass to say something.

All done similar and all been judged by some twat-face, who has missed the hours of playing and sees the moment of relaxation.

It's fine for DCs to have a break. Many jobs now require a high level of electronic interaction. DCs have an advantage if they have some idea of how things work.

bumsex it was about 15 minutes of screen time while we recharged and waited for food. We then ate our food and chatted. then went home where DH went to the study to work and I spent the rest of the afternoon feeding baby again, while simultaneously playing animal rescues with DD on the carpet

She'll be on that hideous gransnet thread 'mums on phones' now...

Silly cow.

A lesson in not judging people on a snapshot of their life.

I was on the internet on my phone whilst the baby was asleep in my arms. Sitting in the GP surgery waiting for a baby check.

The woman opposite me said loudly at. E, "Well she's obviously not bothered about the damage done to her baby by the phone."

Errrrr.
Actually, autocorrect turned that errrrr into weezer, which I think I prefer.

Weezer.

Unnecessary!!!

She caught a moment of your whole life - a peaceful moment - and felt the need not just to judge but to speak her judgement out loud. That is an awful thing to do.

This is often us on our weekend lunches. A few minutes of time in our own heads. Companionable silence. I love it.

That's so rude and judgmental! If only you had come back to her with something scathing. What a bitch don't let it bother you.

Loosechange- youve just reminded me of being on the bus when two ladies unsubtly started chuntering on about babies being ignored whilst their mums stared at phones.

I didn't quite get whether I was supposed to prod DS awake to do some parenting , or just gaze lovingly at his sleeping form

YANBU, what a cow. Just remember that the people who make these comments are miserable, bitter and unhappy. NO-ONE happy inside would do that! And I don't get why people silently judge either, like you say it's a snapshot of your day.. So judging you is a negative, wasted emotion.

TBF it does look odd when you see a group of people together but not together as they are all elsewhere on social media etc. Particularly if you are of the older generation I imagine. It used to be that going for a meal was a relaxing activity but now having to bother with your own family is too much stress!

Same happened us when we were on holidays. DS who was 1.5 (and a maggot for not sitting at the table for any length of time never mind having a dinner) was watching some Holly & Ben so we could scoff down our food. A waitress started looking at us and saying we were disgraceful parents What a bitch!! She didn't see we'd been up since 5am, been to the beach, swimming, at lunchtime coloured, sand castles etc all that day and the previous 10 we just wanted 15 mins to eat our dinner in somewhat peace.

We quickly wrapped up the dinner which wasn't even nice and left. Always annoyed I never said anything to her

"If you'd all been sitting there with books in your laps nobody would have batted an eyelid. But being on tech - ssssss, noooo."

Agree with this. Find it depressingly hypocritical. My father used to be vey pleased with himself about refusing to allow TV at mealtimes, but thought absolutely nothing of having the radio on loudly playing the Science Show. Hmph

"I would probably notice it - if I'm honest, I don't really see the point of going out to eat as a family, and then all be sitting on your devices"

I don't get this. You don't see the point of going out to eat as a family if you don't interact the entire time? It's not like the OP can leave her kids at home, is it?

Or should she tell her husband, "husband, I might want to spend a few minutes in my phone this lunchtime. We'd better eat separately. You stay home with the children and I will dine alone."

Eating out isn't An Event round here. If our DC needs entertaining while the food is on the table, so be it. The alternative is eating at different times, or wolfing our food - and I'm sure there would be someone on standby to judge us for that, too.

OP I choose to ignore your info about the kids menu and picture you and your geezer kids in flat caps, sharing some pork scratchings and drinking real ale. No pubs are a good place for families, not even the ones that cater to families and actively seek their custom. They're all underground dives with dog fights round the back.

DP and I are self employed and our industries don't fit the 9-5 timetable. Instead of judging the demon tech users, people could consider that the choice is keep up to date with emails while out for dinner or stay in the office all evening. We actually prefer to spend time together, and DP misses DD and would rather catch up on emails in the kitchen at home than miss bath time.

Follow her home and wait outside her bedroom window so you can criticise her relationship as soon as her and her partner start reading in bed rather than discussing their feelings for each other.

I have just been reminded of a situation I witnessed recently when we were in a very large canteen like place in a local attraction. There were a lot of free tables but three ladies chose to sit in the table right next to a table of two ladies with 4 children. The kids were playing on phones while the food arrived - the ladies were participating, pouting things out, the kids were chatting to each other about the game etc. However, the 3 other ladies behind took their entertainment from constantly craning round, tutting, huffing and exclaiming that they hated phones at tables.

They missed the point of what was actually happening spectacularly

DD loves going to the pub she usually plays on her tablet while we are there. Surely it's better than running around the tables?

It is one of the few times she gets to play on the tablet, she hardly ever looks at it at home.

In the 'olden days' only the men would have been at the pub, DD and I would have been left at home. Much prefer the modern family, and the modern pub that let's us all in