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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

re DD (nearly 5) and TV?

69 replies

CheshireDing · 18/08/2016 16:37

So today swimming lesson this morning, home for lunch and a bit of play on their on then 3 hours at a farm where they have bouncy stuff, tractors etc with a picnic. All this is literally minutes from our house so it's not been lots of sitting in the car and long journeys.

The SECOND we get in the car to come home DD (nearly 5) starts about the bloody TV, "can I watch TV" "can I watch Paw Patrol" etc etc. This has just started a few weeks ago and then she just goes on and ON and ON asking.

The 2 year old doesn't ask and DD never used to so I presume partly it's an age thing but it drives me crazy.

I thought last week about getting rid of the TV anyway because we don't even watch it but DH said that was a bit extreme.

I have always let them have 30 minutes a day, unless it's a film or slobbing/chilling at Christmas. DH and I are thinking maybe we are being too harsh now and that's what has led to the incessant asking, even when we have done more interesting stuff.

The asking is driving me crazy but I am struggling in my mind with me giving her more TV per day, especially when it's 27 degrees and she should be in the garden.

Are we being too harsh ? What do other people do ? I am sick of her asking and I have told her that numerous times :( she ignores and carries on asking anyway

OP posts:

TheOnlyPink · 19/08/2016 09:14

I don't restrict tv. My children are 9 and 4.5, we've been up for about 2 hours and neither of them have turned it on yet.
If i think they've been on it too long, I start an activity with them, and then they just continue by themselves. They don't think about tv too much because it's always just there. Some days they watch loads, others it's not even turned on.

I agree with the previous poster, that it gives ideas for play. Big barn farm, time for school, my pet and me, swashbuckler and my first have all given us great scope for imaginative play. Cbeebies is brilliant, definitely not that passive watching of pointless cartoons.

Lighten up a bit on it imo, she had been very active and stimulated all day. She deserves a rest and something easy.

trilbydoll · 19/08/2016 09:27

I find dd gets quite hypnotised by films (Frozen, Brave, Tangled etc) it must be something to do with the animation. Too many DVDs = bad behaviour and constantly asking for more. CBeebies doesn't seem to have the same effect, maybe because it's short programmes so changing regularly.

WhooooAmI24601 · 19/08/2016 09:32

The only thing I do restrict is tv in the mornings on school days; they are just pains in the arse when they've had tv because they don't want to switch it off and I end up arguing and trying to reason then going mad, so we just don't put it on.

The rest of the time they're pretty active, so when they ask for the tv on I generally say yes. I took the tv out of the kitchen, though, because I hate it on when we're eating meals. Far nicer without it.

junebirthdaygirl · 19/08/2016 09:59

I'm an older mom. With my firstborn years ago l regulated TV very strictly. Then l found if l went to someone else's house he got so excited that the telly was on that he ran to watch it. I noticed sometimes he stopped by the TV store window to watch the screens. l eased up a bit. I was brought up in a TV free house and have no interest or capacity to watch TV. With my other kids l was easier going but never until they left home did the TV go on before school. I hate to tell you this but my oldest ds still LOVES TV now while the other two are not bothered. So advice is try not to make a big deal of it.
My gd has TV on in the background. ( luckily l learned from mumsnet not to be a judgey pants!!!) and l have seen her press the button on remote to turn it off saying that's too noisy as she is playing a game. She also acts out every word of Peppa and knows every line. Its always a tough parenting thing l think.

MyBreadIsEggy · 19/08/2016 10:07

I don't restrict TV my Dd is only 15 months old, but we've been watching an embarrassing amount of CBeebies over the past couple of weeks. I'm suffering with SPD in this pregnancy, so we either go to the park/play group or whatever in the morning and then have a chilled out afternoon with some toys/crayons/CBeebies on in the background, or the opposite way round.
I would be dead on my feet and in pain if I tried to make every single day an activity filled day! As she's so young, Dd doesn't sit glued to the tv for hours, but there are certain programmes that she will just stand in front of the tv and stare at she also loves Tree Fu Tom and dances when it's time to "do the magic"

lovelyleftrubbishright · 19/08/2016 10:31

I think 30 minutes of TV a day is plenty, but she has had a busy day and is probably exhausted. I'd sit with her a watch a movie you would both enjoy together, you might find that it'll get it out of her system!

Original poster

CheshireDing · 19/08/2016 20:40

Well, day one of trying to be chilled out about the TV resulted in DD nearly exploding with excitement when she asked before lunch if she could watch tv and I said yes ! poor mite

They had lunch and she asked again and I said yes, then then added up watching it for at least an hour ! My theory being to see if she gets bored and buggers off away from it.

We did do swimming this morning and a walk in the rain in the afternoon but the tv thing did make me feel very stressed as I couldn't find anything on normal children's tv channels which didn't sound shit (granted I am not their target audience) and when I tried to look on BBC IPlayer Childrens programmes they mostly seemed to be 2 minutes long or games, not programmes. They ended up watching a programme about a mouse called Arthur, although then I was torn between "is this really educating/tv should just be chill out tv".

Situation not helped by DS (nearly 3) not being arsed about the tv but then watching it because he loves doing what DD is doing :(

I think at least I need to find some Sesame Street type programmes, DH can sort that I am too traumatised by shite childrens tv now today .

Experiment to continue to see if she stops bleating on about the damn thing.

OP posts:

klmnop · 24/08/2016 11:14

So much of kids programming has a positive moral or educational element to it! Which programmes were you concerned about? Maybe you need to watch a bit more kids TV in order to develop a more rounded & informed opinion. At the moment you sound a little extreme and narrow minded.

mummabearjustgotfierce · 24/08/2016 11:19

I dont regulate my kids watching TV. They go out and do something every day. We all need some downtime, kids included and it gives me chance to tidy up, cook dinner etc. As long as they are going outside, playing with toys etc i don't mind the TV being on and think theres much worse things they could be doing

nolongersurprised · 24/08/2016 11:39

I restrict my preschoolers to less than an hour a day. None at all during the week for my school aged kids but movies and iPads on the weekends.

If the younger two watch too much they get irritable when I turn it off, most of the time it's easier not to bother. They can play perfectly well without it, I don't need to play with them all day. The big kids don't miss it because we're not a big TV family, they chat and read (and squabble). They don't go crazy with watching it at other peoples' houses if it's on. They do like movies and look forward to choosing what to watch on the weekend nights.

DH and I don't watch that much either, there's not much on.

maddiemookins16mum · 24/08/2016 11:50

Maybe it's just her way of saying "I just want to chill and have a rest mum". I would rather be in our cool sitting room this afternoon (watching some crap on C5 than in the garden as it's too hot for me). When DD was 5, she probably watched approx 2 hours a day spread over the day, she'd often be doing stuff too like making dresses out of kitchen roll for her little dolls!!! (She's stopped that now!). I think she just sees it as down time.

Sofabitch · 24/08/2016 11:54

Fuck...think my kids have watched watched more tv than the entire mumsnet today

It's too hot to do anything.

Historygeek · 24/08/2016 11:59

Just let her watch TV when she wants to!

You had a wonderful but stimulating day no wonder she wants to wind down and watch the telly!

To be honest I never regulated tv watching but ds isn't that bothered about the tv most of the time probably because it isn't a novelty.

mummabearjustgotfierce · 24/08/2016 11:59

sofabitch don't worry my kids too. In fact both my 7 year old and 2 year old have an iPad each, which according to most of mums net amounts to child cruelty

Historygeek · 24/08/2016 12:04

Just seen your update, it will probably be a big novelty to her now though.

I think kid TV is wonderful. Have you tried CBeebies and cbbc?

RubbleBubble00 · 24/08/2016 12:05

Morning swimming then afternoon playing at farm. I'd want to mooch on the sofa and watch a bit of telly.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 24/08/2016 12:19

We watch endless TV, including kardashians e news and last night naked attraction!!!
Don't think any of us are damaged by it. was just thinking about all the angst about TV , if I spend three hours reading I feel virtuous, three hours on the kardashians I'm ashamed and dirty... Why? What really is the difference both are on my arse and enjoyable ..?

witsender · 24/08/2016 12:21

The programming isn't the issue for us. It is the passive nature of it, and the unnatural stimulation it provides your 'excitement' sensors. Technical term there.

jnh22 · 24/08/2016 14:19

OP
You can get Sesame Street online, on their app or on YouTube. But it may be a bit to young for her.

Octonauts, Wild Kratts and The Deep are all good shows with an educational bent that my 5 year old likes. We also do lots of nature shows (Blue Planet, etc) which goes down well.

For what it's worth, I try to limit screen time to 30min a day but it does depend on what else is going on. If we've been out all day like you guys had, I'd have no problem with letting him watch for longer.

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