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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To just ignore Chuggers and similar

81 replies

wasonthelist · 18/08/2016 11:40

A woman trying to flog some kind of lottery tried to accost me with the usual "Hello/excuse me". Politeness probably dictates a polite response - but I feel the normal rules of social discourse are being subverted here and I've taken to just totally blanking such folk.

I know they have a job to do, but I think it's wrong to take advantage of the circumstances in this way.

OP posts:

dailymaillazyjournos · 18/08/2016 13:34

I usually just shake my head or say no thanks. One bloke started by saying "You look friendly". I was v menopausal that day and without thinking replied "Well I'm not" and walked on. Felt a bit mean though

JamieVardysParty · 18/08/2016 13:38

I just tell them that I'm just visiting the UK and don't have a UK bank account. Normally they just say oh ok and I go on with my business.

Occasionally some will push it and try to say it's ok for my foreign bank to set up a DD - I just give a false smile and say "oh great, so you are offering to pay the high fees for that" and walk off.

AlpacaPicnic · 18/08/2016 16:31

That's quite a list ReActiv! I must memorise it... I didn't complain at the time, it was a few years ago now. But now older, bolshier me would wipe the floor with her in my head three hours later

Vickyyyy · 18/08/2016 16:45

Chuggers annoy the hell out of me. So much so I feel rather irrational at times. We cannot walk up our highstreet without being accosted by at least 2 people.

Last year, my partner was accosted by some guy apparently collecting for a cancer charity. Not only did the guy actually shake the collection tin in his face (I'm sure they are not meant to do this), when my partner attempted to walk past he shouted rather loudly that my partner clearly didn't care about people with cancer as he had just watched him use the cashpoint so he clearly had money on him and had still ignored?! THAT has only happened the once, but once is enough. )

Worst ones for me are the endless 'vanquis card' employees...trying to encourage more people who cannot afford to do so to get further into debt...and also the talktalk reps who seem to be at every turn now. It must be a soul destroying job really having people ignore you all day and/or be rude, and I get that these people are just trying to get by themselves...but I really wish it wasn't allowed.

Vickyyyy · 18/08/2016 16:50

At Newcastle airport quite recently we were stopped by someone collecting for some vet charity. I was caught at a particularly vulnerable moment as we had had fraud happen on our bank account THE DAY BEFORE we were due to fly..anyway, she purposely went straight for our 3 year old showing her a picture of a bunch of puppies, asking her to pick her fave, then started guilt tripping us about how this dog my daughter had picked had epilepsy and our tenner a month donation would help a lot, then started on DD again saying she would get photos of the dog regularly and such. DD was looking at us so expectantly and we felt so bad saying no..and it was just a horrendous situation to be in and I think its so wrong to purposely go for the kids to guilt trip the parents. Rightly or wrongly (probably wrongly) instead of upsetting DD and looking a heartless cunt (as all of this was at top volume) I gave over my bankd etails for an old closed bank that I knew the payments couldn't be taken from. Was the easier 'way out' as I was so stressed to start with and could not be done with another meltdown from DD (3) who had just calmed down about 10 mins before this woman approached. When we got back from holiday, I called up the company and made a 1 off donation, but complained about the way it had all came about, and cancelled the DD that would have bounced anyway.

porridge90 · 18/08/2016 16:56

In Tesco once, a charity collector looked is dead in the eye and said 'children with cancer?!' In the same way you might hear a market seller say ' Strawberries.. Get your fresh juicy strawberries here!' It was a very strange exchange.

SweetChickadee · 18/08/2016 17:01

One gave DH the 'don't you like children..?' line the other day, he just responded "No' and kept walking

I give them a 'not today thank you' and keep walking.

Vickyyyy · 18/08/2016 17:03

The ones who stand outside shop entrances so you have no option but to interact with them.

There seems to be a new one here who sits just besides the exit door inside B&M. Looking all sad faced and eyeing up the change you are putting into your pocket from your purchase while holding out a collection jar. It actually makes me feel really bad but I have little/no disposable income most of the time unless DH has had a particularly good work month and with a lot of charities the money doesn;t even get to the cause anyway. Our local scope (I think it is) has adverts in the window right now for volunteers...it states it is not a paid position which you expect. However, in an ad right next to that they are advertising for a manager, pay rate in the region of 30k per year. I find that a slight pisstake tbh.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 18/08/2016 17:05

One bloke started by saying "You look friendly". I was v menopausal that day and without thinking replied "Well I'm not" and walked on.

Ha! I did exactly the same thing once! I was not menopausal though, just grumpy. Fucking stupid thing to open with though...there's such an obvious rude comeback that it's hard to resist.

Usually I just say "no, thanks" and don't break my stride.

Amummyatlast · 18/08/2016 17:05

I had one try and stop me the other day, and I could almost see her thinking "Mum with small child, must be soft enough to fall for it". Well no, I'm a bitch about things like this. She was lucky to get away with a hard "no" and firm shake of the head.

pickledpears555 · 18/08/2016 17:24

I just tell them that I hate animals/kids/fresh water or whatever they are trying to push. "Would you like to support wild animals in Africa?" "I hate wild animals" . Works every time. I give quite large % of my income to charity through PayPal, so don't feel too guilty about it.

KakunaMatata · 18/08/2016 17:33

There are so many here. I've had one instance of such rudeness that I went back to confront him! Guy collecting for an Army charity I hadn't heard of. Walked past and gave the polite "no, thank you" only to have him shout after me "walk away then you tight cow".

I got so wound up that after I had words with him I went to the shopping centre management and complained.

Arkhamasylum · 18/08/2016 17:35

I usually say 'no thank you' and if they persist, especially with something manipulative ('it's such a good cause!', 'don't you care about zyz') I tell them to piss off and they go away. I decided to do this after feeling guilty and/or manipulated too many times.

It's the expectation that people will be polite that gives them leverage. I've felt awful saying 'no' or stupid saying 'yes', too many times. If you subvert the expectation of politeness very quickly, it gets it over and done with. Only to pushy arseholes types though.

Mishegoss · 18/08/2016 17:36

I just walk past/through them now with a vague look on my face. I particularly hate the ones that try to flatter you and act like your new best friend.

JudgeLionelNutmeg · 18/08/2016 17:42

I generally just blank them now as I find even if you say no thank you they still attempt to engage you in conversation. Did have to tell one to fuck off once - I was about to turn off the main street to a side street and he actually blocked my path, so I shouted 'fuck off, you twat!' at him and swerved round him.

RebootYourEngine · 18/08/2016 17:52

SweetChickadee i did the same one day. Someone asked me if i liked children, they got a firm 'NO'. It was quite funny because i had my ds and my two baby nieces with me. The womans face was a picture

achangeisgonnacome · 18/08/2016 18:00

RULE Fr4: The ‘three-step’ rule

I thought it was ten? When I see one ahead of me, I think 'Uh oh there's a chugger' - and veer off at an angle so they have to walk quite a bit to catch me. They deffo do more than three steps though before giving up.

AGruffaloCrumble · 18/08/2016 18:03

I ignored one once and he shouted after me that I was a rude bitch I was completely taken off guard and just walked off but it really bothered me. I think they are the rude ones for forcing themselves on people who are kind enough to stop and chat.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 18/08/2016 18:03

I just talk into my phone. Not that there's anyone at the other end but the chuggers don't know that. If anyone looks as though they might interrupt my 'phone call', I glance at my watch, frown worriedly and speed up

There are two high streets (in different cities) which I frequently walk along, it my technique works all the time.

For doorstep callers, I look through the spyhole and if it's not someone I'm expecting I half put a coat on before opening the door. That way I'm "in a hurry to go out".

We do, in fact, have a generous charitable giving budget each year and donate to our favourite charities as well as particular causes which may crop up - local things, funeral collections, national or international disasters etc. So I don't feel bad about not responding to chuggers.

BabyGanoush · 18/08/2016 18:08

I say "no" too if they ask if I like children.

I don't walk around them either, fuck it, they don't own the street.

I walk through the lot of them, saying "no thank you" or "no" (if asked if I like children or animals)

If they say things like "I really love your boots" I say thanks but then blank them.

Something stubborn inside me makes me refuse to scuttle away from them.

Instead I do "aloof"

It really bugs me they are always there though!!

Runny · 18/08/2016 18:09

I think being rude is the only way to deal with chuggers.

Really 'fucks off and get a proper job' should suffice.

scaryteacher · 18/08/2016 18:09

I tell them I already donate to them by D/D. How are they going to check that?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 18/08/2016 18:11

I've always been amazed that there aren't more assaults on chuggers.

I don't condone violence but if you were having a bad day/week and then were faced with thatkind of bullshit you'd be a strong person to not want to swing for them.

Pipistrelle40 · 18/08/2016 18:11

If they say can they have two minutes of my time I stop and let them witter on without getting to the point, look at my watch and then tell them times up and walk off.

Pipistrelle40 · 18/08/2016 18:13

Alternated with how much of their money are they giving to the charity and a few difficult questions that they cannot possibly answer.

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