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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed guests wanting to use our wifi when they visit to go on social media?

85 replies

Notsogrimupnorth · 17/08/2016 23:50

Don't get me wrong, I'm no troglodyte and I love social media but I find it a bit much when a so-called friend comes around for tea and spends half of the time on SM on their phone and then even asks to use wifi as they are struggling to get a signal. I have checked with other friends and apparently I'm not boring so that's not the reason - but seriously is this the social norm now? I find it a bit rude.

OP posts:
user1469537355 · 18/08/2016 18:50

It's plain rude! Unfortunately it's the norm now and seems to be expectable. I still find it very rude x

Original poster
Notsogrimupnorth · 18/08/2016 20:15

Have checked with more friends Fred and am relieved to confirm that no one at least admits to finding me boring yet. I try not to allow bogies or housework dominate my conversations

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 18/08/2016 20:18

My DDs 11 year old friend visited the other day and we gave her the wi-fi code, because she was playing Pokemon Go and is eats up data! She found three of the little buggers wandering through my house!

Original poster
Notsogrimupnorth · 18/08/2016 20:19

Crikey! We've not even started with that one yet. Thinking of doing geocaching though

OP posts:
sirfredfredgeorge · 18/08/2016 20:31

notsogrim be careful, you might get thought of as the weirdo who's always asking if they're boring!

YabuDabbaDoo · 18/08/2016 20:35

If a guest is staying overnight then I think it's fine, and I like it to be offered when I stay with friends.

For dinnerz, a cuppa or other short visit - not on without a very good reason (eg to show off photos, share something online)

YabuDabbaDoo · 18/08/2016 20:37

Good grief - not sure how "dinnerz" happened.

Original poster
Notsogrimupnorth · 18/08/2016 20:37

Too true Fred! Argh can't really win can I. Although it turns out that previously mentioned friend has not been invited to big party for similar reasons. Starting to feel sorry for him now. I think he's stuck in s bit of a rut. Will stop being cross and try not to take things so personally

OP posts:
cardibach · 18/08/2016 20:56

Having the Wifi code isn't the issue - I give that to everyone as there is very little signal and no 3G/4G here. Using social media (or anything else) to the exclusion of interaction us the problem. YABU to resent giving the vide but YANBU to object to them ignoring you.

Original poster
Notsogrimupnorth · 18/08/2016 21:11

Yes I should have made my original post clearer, not an issue about sharing anything including wifi - the issue is the behaviour

OP posts:
tracyjane41 · 19/08/2016 12:13

When I had my bathroom re done 18 months ago the tiler was a young guy and was on his phone constantly instead of getting on with his work. One day he came to find me and was moaning about no wifi and asked me for my password, I said that unfortunately only my kids knew it and I didn't even know how to turn a computer on or anything about wifi LOL! ( got all my computer certificates) oh and bless him because I was a 'mum' and in my 50's he believed me!!! Serves him right for wasting time on my money and being agist!

scaryteacher · 19/08/2016 14:18

The WIFI complaint is unreasonable, it's a service you should be providing as a host.

I had to pay for it at a Travelodge recently. Perhaps one could start charging people for use of your wifi! I don't mind if it's for people staying overnight, but I do object if they are just round for coffee.

QuimReaper · 19/08/2016 15:59

scary I was disgusted when I paid £££££ for a hotel the night before my wedding and I had to pay ten pounds a night for WiFi in my room. It was only free in the lobby.

Apparently the receptionist felt the same way because when I was checking out she said very loudly "So I'm REMOVING the WiFi charge because it is TOTALLY UNREASONABLE to charge customers for it in THIS day and age ESPECIALLY at such EXTORTIONATE rates" Grin

Craigie · 19/08/2016 17:37

Switch your router off and say you've got a problem with your wifi.

worrierandwine · 19/08/2016 17:55

Using my wifi wouldn't bother me but if my friends spent most of their visit on their phones I would be offended, it's very rude.

e1y1 · 19/08/2016 18:03

YANBU, it's extremely rude, but unfortunately it seems to becoming the norm. As PP said, we are really losing the ability to communicate to each other.

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 19/08/2016 18:13

This seems to be the norm now and I have my wifi password on a notice board in the lounge for babysitters/visitors. It does seem a bit sad though that people can't go for a couple of hours with no facebook etc. I am on a couple of my friends wifi, but only because I have been there at parties and have uploaded photos whilst there. One of my friends will literally look at FB all night and is clearly not listening to a word that I am saying when she is here!

helennotsomadnow · 19/08/2016 18:15

I have no problem with people using wifi, I do have a problem with people ignoring me and sitting on facebook instead of talking to me.

I think its really insulting when people prioritise text messages, facebook and phone calls over someone who is sat in front of them, it sends out a message that you are not important.

MaybeDoctor · 19/08/2016 18:20

I have never encountered this with an afternoon or evening visitor. I did once turn off the router when a visiting family member was glued to his device and barely lifting a finger to care for his own children.

Ragwort · 19/08/2016 18:23

I have never experienced this, my friends must be incredibly polite or we are all ancient and used to old fashioned socialising Grin. Very rarely does someone ask for the wifi code and that has only been an overseas guest contacting his DC back home or a colleague of my DH's staying overnight whilst on a business trip.

I can't think of a single occasion when I have ever asked anyone for their wifi code or used a mobile whilst visiting friends. Very rude.

And yes, we always make our teenager put his phone away when we are visiting shame the same rules don't apply to his cousins.

TreaclePumpkin · 19/08/2016 18:23

I find it remarkable when someone has come to visit and hasn't asked for the code within the first 30 mins of arriving. I have a lot of data on my phone so don't need do it myself, but I'm perfectly fine with friends/family using my wifi. I love expect it. I think this is perhaps a generational issue...

gribak · 19/08/2016 18:28

I used to meet up with a work colleague who works in a different office and I don't often see, paying childcare to do so, and we would meet in coffee places - but they had to have wifi for her! Out would come her phone, laptop and whatever other devices she had with her, and the whole time would be spent checking her emails, having a "very important work issue she needed to get back to" during our meeting etc... After the third time, I now avoid meeting up with her. I find it so rude and distracting when someone you have a conversation with is on a screen all the time. We definitely have a no phone rule at the dinner table as well.

LittleBeautyBelle · 19/08/2016 18:29

Yes, it's rude unless there was a very important reason she had to be on text or whatever, but it sounds like there wasn't a good reason. Make sure your wifi is turned off when she comes the next time and see what she does haha!

NellyMelly · 19/08/2016 18:32

I've never thought of connecting to the wifi at a friends house. In a cafe or out and about I connect but not at someones house.

YourWheezy · 19/08/2016 18:49

Oh that poor boy! He does sound like he's stuck in a rut, maybe he's just grabbing at any & all social media interactions because that's all he gets :(
I hate lonely children Sad
Maybe have a quick informal chat with him, saying that kids need to hang out in person more to become closer friends. I don't know how boys make friends these days but maybe he'll listen better/feel less embarrassed hearing it kindly and directly from a mum, without the passive aggressive exclusions he seems to be getting from his friends