To think my DD 13 is too young to put sun tan lotion on

[LippyLiz]

She's the most clumsy slapdash person I know, she's becoming fiercely independent and wants to put her own lotion on. It's 40 degrees!

My just turned 3 year old does her arms, legs, face & chest with me watching.13 is not too young...

Dd has been away with school, family and friends in warm days and has needed to put own sun cream in then. She's also done her own when with us for a few years.
She's 14y and just asks someone to give her hand with her back - as do me and her dad, as that's the hard to reach place for anyone.

By 13y I'd expect most children to be more than able to apply their own sun cream with just a little help for the back.

In what world would a 13yo girl stand there and let an adult apply sun lotion to them? How utterly mortifying.

13? Are you serious?

I thought the title was going to be a typo and that your actual post was going to say she was 3. And I was going to say she was probably a little bit too young but give it a couple of years!

At most primary schools the children have to apply their own sunscreen from when they start in reception - so age 4. And most manage it just fine.

If you are worried she won't do it properly or apply enough, couldn't you just do your own at the same time and check she has?

I think you've probably got the message by now op. but give her some tips on how to make sure she's properly covered and leave her to it.

We're in NZ and the kids have to do their own suncream from Kindy age (so 3/4yr old's). Obviously they'll ask for help if they need it, usually for the back of the shoulders/neck but it's good practice for them.

WTF is sun TAN cream???

Do you mean fake tan as you've used the word 'tan'?

Slash dash? Maybe because she's never had chance to become cordernated with her own limbs, as you have done everything for her.

I to wonder what else you haven't let her grow and learn.

WTF is sun TAN cream???

It's sunscreen. Most people in my area refer to it as 'sun tan cream'. It's not fake tan.

Careless kids (younger than 13!) need supervision, older kids still might need reminders about bits they've forgotten.

Honestly I think you need a long hard look at your parenting and work out whether there are any other areas where you're babying your DD. You aren't doing her any favours.

Hasn't she gone through puberty yet? I think it's unreasonable to deny her body autonomy at that age. Help her with her back, sure, my mum still does. But presumable she washes and dresses herself. This is the same.

""Oops, I suppose I'm going on what she's like in general life. Totally clumsy. I'll see how well she does it.""

OP, she's getting to an age were you have to back off and let her learn by her mistakes.

I've got three Adult DDs. I appreciate that it's difficult, but the Parents that take that approach (whilst still keeping an eye on really dangerous stuff), have the best relationships with their Teens and as they progress into Adulthood.

She's becoming her own person. Unless you welcome other people butting into your life in the small stuff, see it from her POV.

Your in danger of becoming over critical of unimportant stuff (once in a whilst over exposure to the sun isn't that harmful).

Thank you (again). I've have got it that I'm being totally unreasonable

😂😂😂 @ very meaty 8 year old.

I was thinking "only 8 and he can do it himself despite his vast expanses of flesh!"

When someone gets a label it can erode their confidence and they get flustered when they try to accomplish something. So labels like 'shy' or 'clumsy' or 'awkward' become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Sometimes people are clumsy because others overreact if they mess something up. So try not to be a perfectionist. Missing a spot here and there isn't the end of the world. You can get spray on sunscreen that will give good coverage if you're really worried.

It's best to express confidence in others' ability to get necessary tasks accomplished well and to praise any sort of a job that is reasonably well done.

13 is definitely old enough to do her own sunscreen, but:

Her body might be able to make a baby. If she had a baby, would she be able to put suncream on it?

This answer ^ is bizarre.

Honestly I think you need a long hard look at your parenting and work out whether there are any other areas where you're babying your DD. You aren't doing her any favours

The OP has asked a question about suncream, not about her parenting.

My ds is 13 and I put suncream on him just last week. He didn't moan. Admittedly it was at home, not on a beach in public, and only really on the back of his neck and as I had so much on my hands, I spread it onto his arms and shoulders too.

I find it a bit odd that everyone is saying "well she has to make her own mistakes". So if she gets really bad sunburn that's ok because the OP has to let her make her own mistakes? We'll use that principle for road safety too shall we?

People on here have to turn every debate into virtue signalling about how great their parenting is. No parent is perfect but a lot of MNers simply can't grasp that.

OP, get her to do the bits she can do easily and then help her with the rest eg back and neck. And even better - stay in the shade, keep light clothes on, wear a hat and sunglasses and you'll need less of the stuff. I don't understand why you'd want to fry yourself on a beach anyway.

DS1 is 5yo and very fair-skinned, but school aren't allowed to apply his sunscreen for him because they don't want to be sued if it's applied wrongly therefore they stand there and watch him do it and offer advice as needed. I'm sure your DD can learn to do it if a 5yo can!

If she can wash her body, she can apply sun lotion?

She would need help with her back, of course, but don't we all?

What else do you do for her that she should be doing for herself?

My 8 year olds do their own.
I do their backs
But we don't live in a 40 degree climate

LOL LippyLiz - how did you guess by people just piling in saying the same thing again and again?!

Don't worry, you aren't the only mum who forgets how 'old' their children are. I watched my friend put suncream on her 11yr old son on holiday lazy wotsit just stood there and let her.
It's all a learning curve, especially when they are 13yrs and they want to try more and more stuff independently (trips out etc), it's hard to always know what's ok and what 'everyone else's parents let them' do. As you've gathered suncream isn't one of them. Good luck!

My now 14 year old DD has been doing hers for several years. Obviously not her back.

My 11 and 8 year olds do their own, it wouldn't occur to me to do it for them! They also shower and look after their own teeth and hair.