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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think its unusual for someone middle aged to have no mobile & no home internet

52 replies

JedRambosteen · 16/08/2016 18:34

Someone I know professionally who is in a senior role, so not an income issue. I'm trying to work out if he's a raging Luddite or a wrong 'un. It's the only two explanations I can come up with. For context, we are in an urban area with excellent mobile phone coverage and lots of broadband options. Basically, the scenario does not compute. Why would anyone be so unconnected in this day and age?

OP posts:

Ifiwasabadger · 17/08/2016 10:32

Wit sender I disconnected the to 8 years ago and it's the best thing I ever did!

I'm an object of ridicule in my circle for only having a thick phone...yet conversely admired for always being present with people...I don't have my head constantly in my phone as it just doesn't do anything!

I'm resisting the smart phone for as long a spossibe...

scaryteacher · 17/08/2016 10:55

Ifiwasabadger Me too. I have a basic mobile which does calls and texts. I don't need it to do anything else.

Peridotisinvalid · 17/08/2016 10:58

I have never owned a mobile phone of any kind. I'm 62 though, so old rather than middle-aged.

amusedbush · 17/08/2016 11:20

My PIL are in their early 50's and don't have internet. They don't have a computer at all and only basic mobiles. DH has offered to buy them a laptop for Christmas but they simply don't want the internet, they say it's a "faff"

It's so difficult to have a conversation with them about anything relevant as they're not online, they don't watch the news and they only leave the house to do a food shop. We secretly joke that it's like they're living in 1993.

SnortGruntFart · 17/08/2016 11:33

The only thing I really do online is sort out insurance for the house and dogs, browse/post on FB/MN and look up phone numbers and addresses. All in all, I'm posting on social media for around 15-20mins each day. Most of that is on MN, as I'm getting bored of FB TBH.

If I had a choice between being online all day or going on an outdoor survival course, the survival course would win hands down. I have a rule in my house that all children's tech goes off at 7pm and our DC actually talk to each other about all different things. It teaches them communication skills, how to interact without tech and how to create a bond with people.

People don't get to actually know you if all they're getting is words on a screen. Getting to really know a person take face-to-face contact and interaction, and a person's actions will speak much louder than a few words on a smartphone/FB etc.

maisiejones · 17/08/2016 11:34

Late 40s to early 50s? Good God - what does that make anyone mid 50s or above then? Positively geriatric?

CancellyMcChequeface · 17/08/2016 13:31

I'm under 30 and don't have a mobile phone. I don't want to be contactable at all hours. I used to have one, because caring responsibilities meant it was important for me to be immediately reachable, but when the situation changed, I stopped bothering with one. I have a landline, and if I'm not in there's the answerphone. I don't think it's that unusual.

Couldn't do without the internet, though.

Hygellig · 17/08/2016 14:28

I think it's unusual. I used to do some voluntary work and there was a woman in perhaps her early 60s who had no computer at home, but I can't think of many others. My dad is 68 and has used the Internet a lot for years, although his wife (73) has no interest in doing so; I don't think she even has an email address. She has a basic phone but only for emergencies.

I do a lot of stuff online, for example banking, researching and booking holidays, registering to vote, sorting out the car tax, renewing library books, checking when things are open, looking up information, downloading books to my Kindle, checking train and bus times, reading interesting articles and so on. I really can't imagine voluntarily choosing to have no internet at home, even if computers can be a hassle at times in terms of backing up/breaking down.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 17/08/2016 14:32

OP, of course you could cope with online shopping. Billions of people have managed for centuries before the internet and before phones.

I am 42 and was the last person among everyone I know to have a mobile phone (although I had a computer and the internet before nearly everyone else). I have finally got a smartphone. But I am far from being a slave to it and I probably make and receive no more than a dozen calls on it each year.

trafalgargal · 17/08/2016 14:34

I left my smartphone somewhere else about a month ago. I'll get around to picking it up .....sometime probably the next time I'm travelling somewhere non local.

I work in broadband support so deal with all ages and in my experience the 50 to 60 age group either totally embraced the Internet/mobile culture when it started or totally ignored it. I know people of that age who use tech all week so digitally detox every weekend as they see it purely as a work tool.

That said I was chatting to a fifty something friend last week who was dragging herself to Currys after work to order a new washing machine. I suggested we did it there and then on my iPad instead .....and we did. She was amazed how easy it was (her mobile has no internet)

trafalgargal · 17/08/2016 14:40

Like Still I was on the internet before it went mainstream and I have friends who marvel l book holidays, trains, cabs etc online yet they have it all on their mobiles but the only thing they use it for is Facebook . Technology is a tool no rule that says we all have to use it all....despite what the media might tell you.

ShtoppenDerFloppen · 17/08/2016 14:53

Perhaps he is where many of us wish to be.

He works when he is at work. When he leaves work, he returns to his private life, which he has chosen to keep private, without interruptions when he is out of his home.

He likely still reads books and the newspaper, too. The horror!

And you have to judge him as if he is "other".

So much for a private life...

Birdsgottafly · 17/08/2016 15:32

""I'm under 30 and don't have a mobile phone. I don't want to be contactable at all hours. I used to have one, because caring responsibilities meant it was important for me to be immediately reachable,""

I think that's the difference. The people (but mainly men), that I know that don't have mobiles, aren't the ones who people (even their children) would go to in a crisis, or can ask anything from. I'm 48, I don't know anyone out of my peer group who hasn't been a Carer, in some way. Having a mobile can stop any worry. I can remember having to go on a forty five minute journey, in total panic, because my 'always in' Nan, had been taken out to a evening Church do.

As for the LL, you've got to be in to be able to answer it. My working hours have often clashed with my DDs and other family members, if I didn't have a mobile, I see them once a week and not speak to them, until then, which wouldn't be enough for either side.

Ifiwasabadger · 17/08/2016 15:37

•ShtoppenDerFloppen• i read loads of books as a result of no tv and no smartphone, oh and we get the newspaper delivered every morning. at the end of each day DH and i sit down and read together and chat, it's fabulous.

I have more in common with the gentleman in the OP than I had at first thought!

chattygranny · 17/08/2016 16:19

The friend I have who is a Luddite definitely misses out. It's easier to text or email someone else to meet up than call her and have a loooong chat (mutual friends feel guilty about this too). She is the only non-family person who calls our landline after 9pm and also turns up despite being afraid of my dogs. We're all late 50s but she and her husband are the only ones I know who literally don't communicate in any but the traditional ways. Someone said "The Joneses don't do email" and he said "we do! I check them every Sunday!" I am fond of them though. My DD's MIL is in her early 50s and prides herself on being a Luddite. She won't have a smart phone so inundated me with huge emails of photos of their wedding all of which I'd seen online or whatsAp. I also printed out some to share with her. I thanked her warmly and suggested that by the time their first child is born next year it would be great if she got a smart phone so she doesn't miss out on baby photos. With our other DGC we find whatsAp so useful and share pics merrily between both sets of Grandparents. Each to their own but you do miss out. I was the only child in my class in the 60s and 70s not on the phone and certainly got forgotten in the holidays despite being very social in term time. It was useful as a teenager though as I could pretend to be where I wasn't! ;/

Original poster

JedRambosteen · 17/08/2016 19:16

Its interesting to hear other views on this. The thing that surprises me most, I guess, is that he's one of the most senior people on the emergency contacts/disaster recovery list in my organisation and his emergency number is his home landline. Which in all likelihood means that someone less senior and with less authority (and probably kids in tow because they do have mobiles) will have to turn out at all hours if there is an out of hours emergency at work. But like you say, different strokes for different folks.

(PS It is possible to engage in conversation with family, read books and still have a life when you have a TV and internet access. We have a 'no tech at the table' rule that helps.)

OP posts:

Yorkieheaven · 17/08/2016 19:24

amused

Great user name as I laughed out loud as they say at your post.

We are early 50s and have Internet and smart phones unlike your pil as do my parents in their 80s but it makes us no better company or better informed than listening to good old radio 4.

Respectfully your inlaws are laughing at you to for being so swayed by FB/internet sites etc.

FuzzyCustard · 17/08/2016 19:27

ifIwasaBadger I don't have a smartphone either. I have a phone that does text and phoning and photos if I was desperate. I have it on PAYG.

It costs me about £3 a month for the call/texts.
I'm never worried about getting it nicked.
No one can use it to find out where I am!
I have not yet felt the need to upgrade. I might at some point...or I may not.

Apparently it is becoming a "thing" to have this sort of phone. I am a trendsetter!

Original poster

JedRambosteen · 17/08/2016 19:33

Sorry to break it to you Fuzzy but even with a thick phone your movements can be tracked: a German researcher asked his mobile phone company to provide its records for 'pings' from his mobile off mobile phone towers, which triangulate, & then mapped it. It basically provided a breadcrumb-style trail of his movements at 10min intervals for the whole month. It's true the NSA can't use your phone as a microphone, but they still know where you are with a thick phone.

OP posts:

FuzzyCustard · 17/08/2016 19:42

Oh well, I'm in Cornwall save them the bother ;)

Original poster

JedRambosteen · 17/08/2016 19:49

Yeah yeah yeah. We all know you're actually in Norway, but nice try.

OP posts:

myownprivateidaho · 17/08/2016 19:50

I think most people who really don't have internet access are very poor, elderly, and/or vulnerable. By definition you don't hear much from those people since they're often on the margins of society, so there are probably more of these disconnected people than you realise. However, I wouldn't class someone who has internet at work as really disconnected. Presumably he is able to do anything he needs to on the internet while he's at work. I think there's a huge difference between that and actually not having internet access.

Yorkieheaven · 17/08/2016 19:52

Yes the people on my dds fb feeds are so well informed and politically savvy.

Internet usage or smart phones don't make you smart or thick. They are just a tool. A gadget.

People did manage to be pretty erudite before 1991 you know op. Really they did.

hellokittymania · 17/08/2016 19:59

Yabu, I only have a phone because I have a visual impairment and neck problems so find internet cafes very challenging...

I don't accept calls after a certain time though and often have the phone off.

ScarletForYa · 17/08/2016 20:11

I wouldn't believe a word of it!

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