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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has a good friend ever stabbed you in the back.

37 replies

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 16/08/2016 17:11

Tell me your tales to make me feel better.

OP posts:
OreosAreTasty · 16/08/2016 17:12

What's your Aibu?

Arfarfanarf · 16/08/2016 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurLass · 16/08/2016 17:18

So you can write your article?

RuggerHug · 16/08/2016 17:19

Deadline looming?

MiddleClassProblem · 16/08/2016 17:19
Hmm
wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 16/08/2016 17:20

My AIBU is AIBU to feel so pissed of that a friend I thought was nice turned out to be not who I thought they were.
So if other people tell me a friend did it to them I might feel better.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/08/2016 17:21

I think people would be more willing to share their stories if you told us what had happened to you.

plimsolls · 16/08/2016 17:22

I had a "good friend" who spread nasty lies about my relationship. Same friend also decided not to continue a friendship with a man who had assaulted me as she felt sorry for him losing all his friends as a result of what he did.

I am no longer friends with this person although surprisingly she often manages to spin the end of our friendship as me being the bad guy.

I am grateful I found out her true nature.

plimsolls · 16/08/2016 17:22

Oops, typo. I mean she decided to continue the friendship with the man.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 16/08/2016 18:24

I can't imagine many are willing to write your article for you give details of backstabbing friends with an OP as vague as yours I'm afraid.

KakunaMatata · 16/08/2016 19:19

Yes.

HTH.

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 16/08/2016 19:22

Shit happens. Quite often people are not what you thought they were - in fact I'd question as to whether you can ever really know someone 100%. Just look at the Relationships board where marriages of 30 yrs+ fall apart because one party has done something the other thought they'd never do. It's life, it happens - learn and move on.

cexuwaleozbu · 16/08/2016 19:25

Yes but it was hurtful enough at the time without posting details in public and finding that it became a snippet in a daily mail article which is a mumsnet hazard even if the OP isn't a reporter.

We are still friends. Not sure why I forgave her, I feel a bit funny about it given how hurt I was but our friendship turned out to be even bigger

ImperialBlether · 16/08/2016 19:25

It's a regular poster - don't imply she's a journalist!

Tiggeryoubastard · 16/08/2016 19:26

Oh at least make some effort, op.

Gothgirl78 · 16/08/2016 19:28

I've been accused of being a journalist. It seems to be an alternative to calling troll which we're not allowed to do.

No friends have stabbed me in the back. Just drifted away as I'm boring.

veryproudvolleyballmum · 16/08/2016 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Therealloislane · 16/08/2016 19:31

Nope - true friends stab you in the front.

(According to a Bring Me The Horizon t-shirt dd wears.) Grin

VoldysGoneMouldy · 16/08/2016 19:32

Yes. Think it's kind of the course of life, really. The friends I have now are wonderful. It hurt at the time, but now I'm over it.

LucyFuckingPevensie · 16/08/2016 19:39

Hmm op has got quite a long posting history, why the assumption that this is for a paper ?

Yes, I have been stabbed in the back. By a family member so I can't just fuck them off. Shit ain't it.

StrawberryMummy90 · 16/08/2016 19:45

OP if it makes you feel better my ex best friend was there for me when I split up with my boyfriend many years ago..kept telling me he wasn't boyfriend material, I had a lucky escape etc.
I went on holiday to clear my head and a few days later I see pictures of them loved up all over facebook! She was like a sister to me I would never have seen it coming. It broke my heart.

In hindsight I'm glad it happened, he was a twat and she was fake..I'm glad she was removed from my life!

StrawberryMummy90 · 16/08/2016 19:49

Oh and to rub salt in the wound a few months in to their relationship she obviously had heard I wasn't happy about it (who would be?!??)..she took this as a personal insult and tried to attack me infront of my house! I managed to get away and she apologized later but it was just so psycho..my ex was there as well waiting in her car!

Wow reading this back makes me realize how Jeremy Kyle the whole situation was..Confused

LucyFuckingPevensie · 16/08/2016 19:54

Holy mackerel Strawberry that's horrible.
Mine isn't that dramatic. My sil lied about me, about something really really stupid at a really horrible time.
I have got anxiety and it really fucked with my head, I started doubting my self and my memory.

My bro laughed it off in a "oh you silly girls" kind of way - cunt.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 16/08/2016 20:32

I suppose an ex did, in a way.

Was whilst I was at uni. We were friends for a year before anything happened between us, so by that point our two groups of friends had amalgamated. When we split, then, I thought it best not to really tell people what had gone on as they were all good friends with him too, and I didn't think it was their business.

Things between me and most of the group cooled to some extent over the next wee while, but I wasn't too bothered. I just assumed it was the way things were, especially when the ones a few years older left uni and moved away.

It was not until a few years later, when ex's next relationship had broken up, and one of my old friends decided to fill me in on the details. The lass had dumped him because she felt suffocated, and this had come to a bit of a surprise to the group as a whole. So friend was rather taken aback when I said we'd split for the same reason, and said that ex had told them it was all my fault because I was so difficult, which is why they'd pulled away from me.

What hurt was the fact that they'd all chosen to believe this without running it past me. I wasn't going to volunteer information, but would have given my side if asked. I wasn't so bothered by those who had been his friends first, but it was my friends who I thought knew me better who upset me.

GastonsPomPomWrath · 16/08/2016 20:47

Yes, my best friend. Poured my heart out and she looked me square in the face and said "I will never let that person hurt you or your family" and all the time she was harbouring secrets to protect the person who was hurting me.

I couldn't even be angry with her. I just felt so desperately disappointed in her and I told her. She threw it back at me, screamed at me that I was unfair to be angry with her, I wasn't angry, I just felt so so sad and lost. It was like grieving.

We're still friends but it's never been the same since. I've kept her at arms length so to speak. Not so she'd know really but in the back of my head, rattling round, is something that will never allow me to trust her the way I used to ever again.

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