Has a good friend ever stabbed you in the back.

[wakeupandsmellthecoffee]

Tell me your tales to make me feel better.

Yes. They're not in my life now and that's a bit sad, but it's the only option when you find out someone isn't the person you thought they were. You do get to the point of moving on.

Loads of times, mostly friends fucking my boyfriends.

I don't know if I was a shit picker of men or of friends.

I'm on the other side of the equation.

A friend of mine (A) seemed to think I had stabbed her in the back because I happened to be in a similar line of work as her and friend B asked me instead of friend A, despite me not being as experienced as A but more suited to this particular project and because I'm better at it

Cue passive aggressive Facebook rant by 'friend' A moaning about being stabbed in the back, not naming names, but it was blatantly obvious due to the timing.

I'm sure she feels very aggrieved but I can do without passive aggressive bullshit in my life so I've unfriended her (sorry, sounds so childish! But I don't need to be made to feel guilty while browsing FB)

Many, many years back a new 'friend' of mine was always very keen to meet my other friends and have us all be part of one big social group. At first I thought it was nice, but then I started to feel like I couldn't do anything without her, as suddenly all my friends were 'our friends'. If I mentioned anyone she didn't know I'd get, 'Ooh, I'll have to meet her' - which sounds very innocent, until I realised 'Why haven't I met this Rachel yet? I HAVE to meet this Rachel' would follow.

Before I'd realised how controlling she was getting, I fell out with two good friends, partially on the basis of things she had told me they'd said and done. She made a big thing of how honest and loyal she was being - but eventually I realised she was taking minor comments and turning them into major incidents. I then learned she was trying the same trick in reverse too - eg I might have jokingly said 'Here we go again, Sara's late as usual', which would've become 'TaterTots was moaning AGAIN about how you're always late and are so unreliable. She doesn't understand how busy people like us are'. The plan was essentially to leave me with no friends, or rather one - her. In the end she tripped herself up by saying one of my friends had been very dismissive about a difficult time in my life - except this friend didn't know about that time. She couldn't possibly have said anything.

I cut her off after that - which is when she went REALLY nuts. But that's another thread...

This isn't really back-stabbing but I had a best friend who dropped me. She seemed to have a bit of a life crisis around the time I got together with my dp. I was going through a tough family time at the same time so felt really let down that she was being colder and colder to me and gradually we lost contact altogether. We did have a...heated discussion...on the phone at one point during it all and I asked her what her problem was and she said there wasn't one.

I started talking to her a bit when my dd was born two years ago and she came to see us once. She tried to stay in touch but I stopped replying to her messages because I found it really upsetting. She said she still tells people I'm her best friend. I just wish I knew why she changed towards me. She's friends with loads of our old friends and I stopped seeing them all because of it.

Yes. Tried to fuck my life up professionally and personally. She nearly did and I was signed off work with severe depression, on ADs and beta blockers for 10 months and eventually had to leave my job on a compromise agreement as they had handled the whole situation so badly that returning to work was untenable. They paid me a nice 5 figure sum to go quietly though after 8 months off with full pay so not all bad. I've thoroughly moved on since. AFAIK, she's still fucking miserable and bat shit crazy.

yep. while I was still reeling having split from my now-ex-husband, she was full of "oh I'll never tell anyone, I'm here for you" blahblah blah
while avoiding telling me she'd started a relationship with him.
anyone think she was keeping anything I told her from him? Nope, nor me.
They're married now.
Strangely I wasn't invited to their wedding - though she did message me offering to pay for me to marry my next bloke because we couldn't afford it. Not sure why - maybe she resented me still using my married name (I didn't hate him and changing it was too much hassle and she didn't want to use it anyway) , or maybe she still saw me as a threat to their relationship (nope, I didn't want him)

Hi there
I've come back to this thread thus morning to see any replies.I am very grateful some lovely posters have kindly shared when they have had people bee disloyal to them .Thankyou
It has put my stuff into proportion and its seriously not that bad compared to others
. I suppose what happened along with other stuff going on by other people which was also just bloody awful made the whole situation feel a lot worse IYSWIM.
What I will say is when I first checked back this morning I couldn't believe by post three I was being accused of being a journo .
Really ladies is this how mumsnet is now. Surely people come on here for support and understanding .
If I was a new poster I would be leaving and not returning .This type of response accusing people of being journos when they are not is horrible and if I was a new member I wouldn't even know about selling stories to the daily fail.its putting geniune people off posting and asking for help which is what mumsnet is all about.
So thank you to the lovely people who did try and help and poor show to all those who jumped in with no bloody clue at all.

wakeup ignore the journo comments , utter rubbish
I think we've all been stabbed in the back by someone . I just move on now as I can't be bothered by the pettiness of it all

Thanks LGF you are so right and I can move on.
Just made me look at all my friendships.
This journo rubbish is pathetic
Talk about jump on someone when they are down with out a scrap of evidence Very mean indeed
Have a nice day

Sorry you've had a shit time its always truly heartbreaking when someone you believe in turns out to be different than you thought, it's not just the betrayal that comes into focus its the questioning of your own judgement. Which then makes it harder next time to be so trusting.

Personally, after a few experiences of (usual crap, lies/putdowns to get themselves ahead) I could see I was become hardened and didn't like the person I was becoming. Much better to remain happy and trusting with a few disappointments than being bitter and closed off. These people do it for a reason, its a reflection on them, some insecurity or something not anything about me. I can sleep at night with my actions, it catches up with them eventually

My nana, a stout, harsh, Yorkshire women always said you should never be looking down on someone unless you're helping them up, its probably some twee FB meme now or something but its good advice.

CBF loving your nanas saying.