Sorry theres a lot to reply to, will reply to all the points I remember.
He was taken to court by a debtor in December, they petitioned for Bankruptcy against him, which they won, and it happened.
He didnt even sort out his meeting with the OR till about 20th Jan. He was asked to provide proofs of things, like earnings, bank statements, proof that rent is the amount it is, its not large by any means £700 a month- average 2 bed in our area is £900 ish a month, but because in reality we could be living with parents etc for free they want proof.
They do take everything after essential expenses are paid, during the Bankruptcy meeting they explained that anything even in my name, cannot be paid for by his money, if it is on credit or anything, with the exception of phone contracts, which has since that day been a great excuse,
"I cant pay for that, because of the bankruptcy" he says. Despite him not dealing with them, or paying it. It will just be extended, and extended, and extended... im not sure what they do after that. but I know they do extend it....and im going, How will we EVER buy a house? as it is, even if he were released from his bankruptcy this December (which he wont be!) we wouldnt get a mortgage for another six years from that point. which would make him 37.... but I honestly cant see him in the same state a year down the line once hes been released.
If I had anywhere else to go, or any other support, I would have left by April, when he had the demand from the OR and he didnt reply. It really dawned on me that he isnt that bothered.
It was even more sobering that I realised that, he wanted this car. It was his choice. He chose that he wanted an 11 month old ford, with just under 10K miles on the clock. It cost £10,000. I never thought the bank would give me a loan of that amount, but they did. and I didnt mind him having that. What I do mind is the fact that even when I pass my test I wont have anything to drive, AND even now, its just two years old. The car doesnt look like its been washed in as long (it has!) the two front tyres are bald, and the two left hand doors were really damaged in the crash he had last week. and it feels like its nothing to him. Ive NEVER been in a position to say, thats what I want, and actually have it handed to me.
The account im going to set up, will be set up in my name, im cautious to put his name on a bank account with mine, as I dont want to be financially linked to someone whos bankrupt (the little sense that I have!) He will need to transfer his money into that, and the bills will come out of that account, this way I can monitor it. if it doesnt happen this way, then he is going to be told he needs to GTFO.
I wanted to give him till January, thinking, the Bankruptcy will be over, but it wont. at best it will be jan 2018.
also, to the poster who said what about when my PIP is reassessed, I was awarded PIP in 2014, with the award until Aug 2017, they sent me a letter a few weeks saying they wanted to reassess me, which in all honesty, im not sure will see me still getting PIP. I am still not well. I still struggle with daily life, but things are a little better. When i discussed this with him, he said oh its ok, we will figure something out... But what? What will we figure out? How will we figure it out? We already struggle. How?
Sorry this post is VERY, long. I do feel its quite cathartic writing though....take make me feel like ive been such a mug writing all of this. If he were with anyone I knew. id be telling them they are better off rid.