Terrible holiday parenting.

[LewisAndClark]

It can't be just me?

Ds1 (nearly 14) has barely left the house. He's barely left his room, actually. He's permanently plugged in to his pc. I've coaxed him out a few times to come out to lunch with us and he's been on one dog walk. Other than meals and the occasional family film we've barely seen him.

DD (12) has only slept here a handful of times, she's either been sleeping over with her friends or at Grandma's. Again, we see her for meals and not much else, although she's come on a few dog walks.

Ds2 (nearly 5) has spent the majority of his time in pyjamas watching tv. He's been out every day with me and the dog and we've been to the park a couple of times, but mainly he's been either playing in his room or watching YouTube.

I've just realised that between them they've gone through a large tub of Nesquick in a week, and god knows how many biscuits. They are all constant grazers, although tbf ds1 has a fruit fetish so we've gone through oodles of grapes and plums too.

Am I an utter failure this summer? Please tell me there are others who are as slack as me? It's not the idyllic, adventure filled holidays I imagined for them, but they just don't want to DO much.

Thanks need. We are very excited

For a week maybe Polter Then kids just become moody and actually tired from spending the whole days in their rooms on electronics. Nicki this almost always leads to meltdowns in kids of all ages. Also, interests which keep them at home? I assume you mean writing, drawing, reading etc.? What's wrong with doing that outside instead of in a dim lit roof scoffing chocolate hobnobs?

Well if you insist on a response to your dogmatic insistence that your way is the only way. Both my kids are sensitive to heat and my daughter (also with autism) is utterly terrified of all insects so outings in summer - think utter screaming public meltdown, have to be managed carefully. Plus too much social interaction outside the family is really stressful for my son so needs to be managed carefully as he is masking around others and the stress all comes pouring out later.

Ok?

As with most things in life, it's about balance isn't it? Spending all day, every day for six weeks lying in the sofa, glued to an iPad whilst eating crap isn't good for anyone. Equally, rushing around like a headless chicken all day, every for six weeks trying to cram in as many activities as possible with no downtime means the kids don't actually get a much needed rest and will be shattered come September. Surely what's needed is a combination of relaxing at home and time spent getting fresh air and exercise. A bit of time spent on electronics and eating junk food isn't going to do any harm (and banning these things outright just makes them seem more attractive) as long as it's balanced with other stuff.

fairly similar here. There have been some days out, trips to the park etc, but mostly a LOT of just being around the house. This was really winding me up and I was trying to organise stuff to do, but have sort of given up.
BUT I have noticed that over the past few days ds2 (8) has started getting on much better with dd3(12) and dd4(10) they nomrally wind each other up terribly, but last few days they have been PLAYING TOGETHER through choice, and nicely, with little arguing!! I think there is something to be said for letting them just be for a bit tbh.

For one, I am not talking about autistic kids. I can see that you need to schedule activities around your child's needs.

Secondly, I am not suggesting you take your kids out every day, but balance is key and, scrolling through this thread, it doesn't sound balanced at all.

And lastly, for a thread titled 'Terrible holiday parenting' it's a bit odd that everyone is flocking to arms to defend it. Just some food for thought.

My kids aren't moody
They are loving it :)

9 and 12 Polter.

Hi OP,

I haven't read the other responses - guess it is a bunfight by now!

My 2p is that it sounds perfectly fine and your kids are having a lovely holiday. Ideally it would be good to get the 14yo out of the house for a brief time every day. If I were you and if I could manage that, I'd feel everything was great.

Hope you've had more help than unhelp on this thread, and that you enjoy the rest of the holiday!

What an odd thought process you have hiker
When I was ds1s age (13) I also spent a lot of my summer hols indoors....of course back then (in the Jurassic period) it was books that kept me entertained.
Is that somehow better in your eyes? Is it just tech you have an issue with?
We were poor...no outings to museums or swimming for us.
Books were my lifeline and I have very very happy memories of my summer hols as a child...on a blanket reading.
All summer.
👍🏻
We are actually forcing the kids out today for a cultural activity :)
But later all my nephews and nieces are coming up for a water battle so it will make up for it I'm sure :)
Have a good day everyone

Oh polter it's been fab :)
We've all been so tired - I work term time only now too so it's been a re charge for me also.
Lots of film afternoons watching DVDs
Lots of paddling pool
Lots of - shock, horror - iPad time:)
Ds1 does football training too and ds2 does swimming so I figure they are getting some exercise!
I hate how the schools pack everything into the last 2 weeks...my kids were black eyed with tiredness by end of term :(

So you didn't glue yourself to a screen all day but you chose to sit inside? Must have been a tad stuffy but since you weren't killing your brain cells and your retinue, good for you. Have a nice day, enjoy the sun

No I know you weren't talking about kids with autism, people never are when they're lecturing other people on what to do with their own children. Because they just don't consider there might be other reasons for choices people make. That is the point I am making; that pretty much everyone has things going on in their lives that mould their choices, whether that be kids with autism like mine or kids with high anxiety like poulter, or lack of money, or other medical conditions in parents or children, or living in a built up area with little safe space and so on and on. Do you see what I mean?

SO pleased to hear about your boy btw....fab news X

I wouldn't beat yourself up about them lazing about. Might as well do it while they have the chance. Sorry but I don't think you should have nesquick and biscuits on tap though. Empty the house of crap so if they're desperate they'll need to leave the house. At least they'll be genuinely hungry at mealtimes and you can sit down to a proper meal if nothing else. Allowing your kids to graze on sugar will cause them to be overweight and unhealthy as adults. (Sorry you did ask.. ) :)

Hmm
It isn't always sunny in the uk in summer 🤔

Your poor children badders. Forced to have an education with meals and a family that loves them. Utter torture when so many millions of children have nothing and still have to earn a living for themselves and their family.

Nope Niki I don't. I can't smell what things people have going on in their lives. Just making a general statement.

I did occasionally try and outside in the field on a blanket but then people would try and talk to me!

Is there anything worse when utterly engrossed in a book than people trying to talk to you?
It gave me a murderous rage
So I stayed inside :)

Hiker....
Now you are just being a goady twat 😡
My kids love school but they were both exhausted by end of term...a pretty normal thing I think?
However as you seem determined to twist everything everyone says, I'm off.
It's archeology time for me :)