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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel rotten about friends

80 replies

jennypennyloves · 15/08/2016 09:52

Okay so I've not long had a baby...7 months ago and while I'm pretty much back to my pre baby weight my shape is different and I doubt that's going to change.

I have loads of clothes that I bought pre baby that look terrible on me now and some of them still have tags and most of them haven't been worn that much.

I put a message on our whatsapp group saying "hey ladies, just having a clear out and my arse is too big for all these clothes...most of them are new or newish and all in great condition. Does anybody want any of it before i charity shop it all?"

Now we've been friends since school so the best part of 15/16 years so I know them all well and there are 6 of us on the chat. One of them replied "I don't want your sloppy seconds" and others replied with laughing faces to her. One of the girls who replied laughing raided a bag of charity clothes I was giving away a couple of years ago and I've taken stuff off her in the past.

WIBU to offer new clothes to people for free? I feel rubbish Sad

OP posts:
SapphireStrange · 15/08/2016 13:02

Great response! Grin

BendydickCuminsnatch · 15/08/2016 13:03

I bet she'll deny messaging you. It all sounds very odd!

AngryPrincess · 15/08/2016 13:05

Could you write 'Great, I'm really glad you don't want to shag my Ex, but would you like some clothes?'

TinyTear · 15/08/2016 13:14

Some people are just rude.

I live in an affluent area and the local buy and sell group is thriving. i picked up some dressing up clothes for a fiver from someone in a million pound house... that is how we afford million pound houses! (and buying them many years ago when they were cheaper)

diddl · 15/08/2016 13:20

Never a good deed, eh?

If the one who pm'd was embarrassed, fair enough, but to join in the joke-not on.

People have only got to say "no thanks" or "I'll have a look, please"

When did it all get such hard work?

EweAreHere · 15/08/2016 13:24

Your friends were rude.

And I don't care if the friend who wants them didn't want the others to know; she needs to grow a backbone and not join in crappy behaviour to be 'cool' or whatever.

I'm glad you called them/her on it, politely of course, publicly.

Redken24 · 15/08/2016 13:24

your friends sound mean

SuckingEggs · 15/08/2016 13:37

Love your response.

ThisIsPlanetEarth · 15/08/2016 13:38

A while ago I sent a private message to someone I work with who's children are slightly younger than mine saying that I was having a clear out and asked if she wanted any of the clothes. She never replied to me, I could see she had seen the message, then ignored me in work and never mentioned it. I was baffled, I thought I was doing a good deed, her husband had been ill for a while and had been off work, she was the main breadwinner and paying over a fortune in childcare. I buy a lot of clothes for myself and my children, I have been given second hand clothes from family and friends and have been eternally grateful, I pass clothes on to others too. I was talking to a friend recently and she said she has never bought anything from a charity shop, I think there is still a stigma there of second hand stuff for some people, goodness knows why, I call it recycling! To the two faced friend who privately messaged you, I agree with others and say sorry, too late, you have given them to someone who is very grateful for the clothes!

ThisIsPlanetEarth · 15/08/2016 13:39

I meant to say I buy a lot of clothes from charity shops!

Original poster
jennypennyloves · 15/08/2016 13:45

I love the idea of clothes, toys etc going to good homes and being reused! It's not a matter of giving someone something because you think they can't afford to buy it themselves, it's so they don't have to buy it themselves. She replied huffily to say she was just joking. To which I replied well start to work on your timing because you're not very funny.

OP posts:
ThisIsPlanetEarth · 15/08/2016 13:53

I agree Jennypenny, I like to see stuff being reused too and I know people have been grateful for anything I've given them and I've been very grateful too for stuff. Well done you on responding to them and letting them know you weren't happy!

LaContessaDiPlump · 15/08/2016 13:57

Has the friend who actually wanted the clothes got back to you op?

Redken24 · 15/08/2016 14:03

haha - how old are your pals! I would be greatful if someone offered me a bag of clothes like you did..
No different than borrowing a dress you end up keeping

Original poster
jennypennyloves · 15/08/2016 14:09

No! lacontessa

I'm thinking about telling her to get stuffed...publicly!!

OP posts:
WilLiAmHerschel · 15/08/2016 14:11

Some people are embarrassed about things like this. They might have responded better to indivual messages rather than a group one. You didn't do anything wrong though but I think they were just making a joke.

Coconutty · 15/08/2016 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilLiAmHerschel · 15/08/2016 14:12

Sorry I should have read the thread. Blush

Original poster
jennypennyloves · 15/08/2016 14:14

They're going to charity shop. I phoned woman's aid it they won't take them as no room to store them

OP posts:
Original poster
jennypennyloves · 15/08/2016 14:18

*messaged not phoned

OP posts:
GingerbreadGingerbread · 15/08/2016 14:20

So which friend said she was only joking?

Original poster
jennypennyloves · 15/08/2016 14:22

The one who originally said she doesn't do sloppy seconds. The friend who was laughing at the joke messaged me privately for the clothes. No chance she's getting them

OP posts:
facepalming · 15/08/2016 14:26

I would go back on the original group and say 'ok xyz I can drop the back off to you tomorrow and see what you fancy. Anyone else wants a look before they go to charity'? Just ignore the fact xyz sent you a message privately and completely ignore the bitchy ones comment. They will all feel crap and you look like the better person

GingerbreadGingerbread · 15/08/2016 14:29

I would still give your friend the clothes but I'm pleased you called her out on it they sound like a bunch of bitches.

SapphireStrange · 15/08/2016 14:30

Good for you, OP.

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