Two invitations. Which takes priority?

[wispywoo1]

A friend has organised a birthday party for her dad. She has a small family and he has few friends so she has invited all of her friends. She really wants everybody to go and is the type to take it personally if you don't go. Her dad is lovely and does deserve a good night. However I've also received an invitation to a hen do on the same evening. I'd much rather go to the hen do as that's for my friend whereas the party is my friends dad. I've already accepted and confirmed the part invitation before the hen do invitation arrived. WIBU to now decline the party invitations? WWYD in this situation?

I'd be honest and tell your friend what's happened. Go to the hen, if that's what you want to do

Depends on whether you wish to be considered a flakey friend.

People do pick and choose invites. However it is rude and what goes around comes around. The next time someone ditches you for a better offer you will remember and it is likely to hurt.

In most instances of a double invite I'd always say first accepted.

However if my best friend was having her hen do and I'd already accepted an invite for something else I'd be looking for a polite way to decline the accepted invitation.

It's not correct etiquette but that's how I'd do things.

This situation entirely depends on the strength of your friendships and who stands to feel most betrayed by your not attending (and whether the hen is one of these 5 hen party type women).

Whatever you do though, don't lie. Therein lies far worse problems.

Surely a best friend's hen do would be arranged months years in advance?

costa not everyone plans weddings months ahead. My wedding and that of my sister were arranged in less than 8 weeks and my best friend sorted hers in 6 months. None of our hen parties were less relevant because they weren't planned for months in advance (or stupidly expensive and involving people going abroad etc).

That's not the norm nowadays though is it?

Who cares if it's not the norm? That is what some people choose to do.
Just because some of us are not obsessed with planning our weddings years in advance doesn't mean we're wrong. Maybe the bride wasn't sure about her work schedule years/months in advance.

SOME people - the op hasn't clarified if it's the case here

Maybe she's been invited at short notice because one of the other hen party guests also got a better offer

Go to the birthday party until 9.30/10 pm then go to the hen do for the pub crawl/night club.

Don't cancel the first invite because you have a better offer.

That is not nice.

I'd go to the hen party

OR

I'd pop into the dad's party at 7pm (or whenever it started), bring a gift and leave for the hen.

1st invitation. Not sure you can't go to the dad's party then meet with hen do at about 11?