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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be getting cheesed off with this poolside behaviour now?!

81 replies

Bocolatechiscuit · 10/08/2016 13:37

We're away on holiday and having a lovely time. It's somewhere we holiday regularly and we love it. There are several pools and the DC enjoy playing with inflatables, water squirters etc. We usually have no issues at all but this year has been very different and people keep just taking the children's things without asking permission and in some cases breaking them. So far we have had:

-a water squirter (bought yesterday) taken by a lady and used in her family water fight, then given back broken and bent.
-a lady taking a swim ring off a non-swimming six year old's head and putting it on her own and swimming off with it. We had to go and help him out because he immediately struggled.
-a group of 5 men taking a swim ring, taking turns to dive into it until it popped, then quickly jumping out of the pool laughing.
-a lady in the pool pointing to my son's swim ring and saying to him 'give me that'.
-DC playing catch in the water with a ball, one child misses it and before they get to it, a lady picking it up and giving it to her toddler in a pushchair who then kept hold of it for over an hour, giving it back with holes bitten out of it and the pattern rubbed off (also bought yesterday)
-same couple allowing their child to play with DC's snorkel mask and leaving it on the side of the pool with a part missing. When DS asked where the part was, the man pointed at the bottom of the pool.
-Same couple allowing their child to use the mouth piece of the snorkel tube to chew on while they just chatted to him

I'm just getting fed up now. We have to constantly monitor where all the toys are. We encourage the boys to share and they are really kind and would never say no, but these people simply don't ask-just take them. One incident today in fact left me dumbfounded. I was getting into the pool by the steps holding a ring. I sat on the steps for a minute then noticed a family coming towards me chatting as they went. I asked if they wanted to get out and moved off the step. They nodded and a lady came towards me with her arms out asking for the ring-she had clearly thought I was offering it to her. I said no and then they were shrugging almost to say, 'oh charming, she wasn't letting you have it after all then!'

It's just so odd and getting frustrating now. We would never say no if they would ask and LOOK AFTER the stuff but they just don't and don't even seem to care when they break it. There is a language barrier so it's difficult to explain nicely. DP just wants to replace the broken things but it'll only happen again tomorrow I'm sure!

OP posts:
Vickyyyy · 10/08/2016 15:09

a lady taking a swim ring off a non-swimming six year old's head and putting it on her own and swimming off with it,

I would be tempted to hold said lady on the bottom of the pool for a bit to be quite honest

Just stand up for yourself and tell these arseholes that they are your kids' toys and if they want some themselves to go and BUY some?

YelloDraw · 10/08/2016 16:01

Ah channel your inner assertive ness and go straight up to anyone who takes the toys and say "oh, those aren't communal toys, they are ours and the kids are using them"

mmgirish · 10/08/2016 16:33

Wow, I'm surprised by the anti-Russian sentiment on here. I live in a holiday destination that is very popular with Russians. They are no worse than the other tourists.

I feel your pain OP. It's really awkward when you're at a pool and someone keeps using your children's belongings. I write our surname with permanent marker. That seems to help.

BusStopBetty · 10/08/2016 16:46

Label items. Say no. Take them back. Every single time.

HerdsOfWilderbeest · 10/08/2016 16:50

They are behaving disgustingly and you shouldn't have to be Mrs Assertive over pool stuff on holiday. They are being really rude.

mumofthemonsters808 · 10/08/2016 16:57

Ive never experienced anything like this, in fact quite the opposite we've been given lots of items when people are leaving and we have borrowed and returned lots of water toys. This would piss me off big time, I'd be like a guard dog if someone dared to remove a ring from a kid who couldn't swim.Try going to the beach tomorrow, hopefully these families will be going home soon, this would spoil my holiday.

CinderellaFant · 10/08/2016 16:57

Don't wait until they break the things before saying something- say something as soon as they touch it! The water squirted should have been taken off the woman as soon as she took it, same with the men and the swim ring. Just say 'no, that's mine' and put your hand out for it. Same with the ball

bloodyteenagers · 10/08/2016 17:01

Also think you need to be supervising your children more. The moment another person attempted to take a swimming ring off my child, they would be told to jog on well before it reached shoulders, never mind actually off.
You need to also instil in your children to stop leaving their stuff all around the side of the pool. They've finished, they bring it back. And stop sending the kids back to reclaim stuff, this obviously isn't working because adults are physically taking their stuff from them to begin with.

You need to act tough. I have done it at pools, parks and water parks. Amazing how quickly people learn when you tell them politely to fuck off and buy your own stuff.

LewisAndClark · 10/08/2016 17:04

Blimey. I would have gone absolutely postal at the woman who took the swimming ring off your child.

Who does that?

Original poster
Bocolatechiscuit · 10/08/2016 17:10

Just to be clear the 6 year old wasn't my child. His parents were friends we made on holiday and they quickly hauled him out and then held their hand out to the lady who had taken it once they could get her attention as she was happily chatting at the other end of the pool while bobbing around in his rubber ring!

We are telling them politely. I'd like to just be able to allow them to share but agree that it isn't working here so will have to ensure we keep the things close by. Our boys are 10 and 11 and are capable of being assertive too (yesterday one said to a lady who had pushed him too hard during a game of water polo, 'ouch that hurt-you shouldn't push like that'. She apologised!') We are certainly supervising them closely and the floats etc are kept very close by. These people actually come up and just get them! We'll say no from now on-we'll have to.

OP posts:
missabbey11 · 10/08/2016 17:19

next time someone takes something from you just keep a pair of tweezers with you and pop it while they play, its going to be ruined or break anyway so cut out the middle man and just do it for them which will annoy them and stop them taking your stuff, or find where they're sitting/ keeping their stuff and just take their phone or towel and throw it in the pool... they weren't using it anyway right ...
you are not being unresonable you're supervising your children fine its not your job to control the general population you're on holiday have fun and get a little mean

Badbadbunny · 10/08/2016 17:37

We occasionally have this problem, but the solution is to keep your stuff close by you, i.e. not just abandon it in or near the pool, get it back after use and keep it near your beds. Just get the kids into the habit of taking stuff from the bed when they want it and put it back again once they've finished.

CoraPirbright · 10/08/2016 17:58

God this would make me puce with rage.

Who on earth thinks it's ok to behave like that???

feesh · 10/08/2016 18:16

I live in the Middle East and it's pretty normal here. People would expect you to say something if you didn't want it to happen (they respect you a lot more if you stand up for yourself!). All our pool toys have our names on in massive letters with a Sharpie for this exact reason.

SouthWestmom · 10/08/2016 18:29

I really think people just assume it belongs to the pool and you are being greedy and hogging it.

It's never clear who owns what and short of labelling I can't imagine what you can do. It sound a exhausting though , I'd definitely be looking for a solution.

user7755 · 10/08/2016 18:32

I don't understand why you aren't getting the stuff back before it gets broken Confused

liquidrevolution · 10/08/2016 18:32

You need a large ikea bag to hold everything (with padlock) and issue items one at a time so not so much to keep an eye on.

NeedAnotherGlass · 10/08/2016 18:43

I never allowed anyone else to play with our stuff at the pool. I would ask for it back the second I saw someone touch it.
You don't have to share with complete strangers!

If a non-swimming 6yr old with a rubber ring was in the pool, I would expect the parent to be right next to them. There shouldn't be an opportunity for someone to take the ring and go for a chat up the other end of the pool.

SeenoevilHearnoevilSpeaknoevil · 10/08/2016 18:45

We went on holiday and had the same thing. Two popped lillos, one doughnut, two water Guns went "missing" as well as three balls and a bucket. This was all while we were all in the BABY pool! So it's obvious they are being used by children! It's just ignorance!

pictish · 10/08/2016 19:03

Why on earth are you sitting there allowing every other fucker and his dog take your stuff and break it?
You feel mean shelling out for pool toys for your kids and not allowing anyone who fancies trashing them to do so?

Where's your backbone ffs?

bunnyfuller · 10/08/2016 19:11

It's not an excuse but it is quite often cultural. I've worked/lived with Russians extensively and still don't get the 'rude'. But they think English are rude for smiling at people they don't know. Obvs the Turkish families have a free for all on the inflatables :-/. Make sure you assert early or they'll carry on. Incidentally the rudest people I've ever come across on the holiday have been Brits.

Dandelion6565 · 10/08/2016 19:17

"I'm sorry to spoil your fun, but we need our ball back."
Works every time. Well apart from the fucking Steiner educated family who debated for a good five minuets how we could have more fun playing together. My two and three year old with her eight and nine year old. Confused

littlepooch · 10/08/2016 19:33

Just say no. No need for subtlety here.

I wouldn't mind if it was little ones wanting to play and share with the new holiday friends but grown ups??? That's just ridiculous and you need to be firm.

OooohHorlicks · 11/08/2016 17:39

To be fair, I have found that in situations where it is the cultural norm to behave that way, it is also pretty acceptable to say no / take things back / sit clutching it all and hissing at anyone that comes near.

I would probably do the latter but well done for doing the former two! Just not the stress that you need on holiday though is it.

TransvisionTramp · 11/08/2016 17:47

I'd be raging, and out buying a Sharpie to put my name on everything.

FYI - just googled these helpful phrases in Turkish:
Do Not Use: kullanmayın.
Property of: Mülkiyet

There's some selfish people around.

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