To be getting cheesed off with this poolside behaviour now?!

[Bocolatechiscuit]

We're away on holiday and having a lovely time. It's somewhere we holiday regularly and we love it. There are several pools and the DC enjoy playing with inflatables, water squirters etc. We usually have no issues at all but this year has been very different and people keep just taking the children's things without asking permission and in some cases breaking them. So far we have had:

-a water squirter (bought yesterday) taken by a lady and used in her family water fight, then given back broken and bent.
-a lady taking a swim ring off a non-swimming six year old's head and putting it on her own and swimming off with it. We had to go and help him out because he immediately struggled.
-a group of 5 men taking a swim ring, taking turns to dive into it until it popped, then quickly jumping out of the pool laughing.
-a lady in the pool pointing to my son's swim ring and saying to him 'give me that'.
-DC playing catch in the water with a ball, one child misses it and before they get to it, a lady picking it up and giving it to her toddler in a pushchair who then kept hold of it for over an hour, giving it back with holes bitten out of it and the pattern rubbed off (also bought yesterday)
-same couple allowing their child to play with DC's snorkel mask and leaving it on the side of the pool with a part missing. When DS asked where the part was, the man pointed at the bottom of the pool.
-Same couple allowing their child to use the mouth piece of the snorkel tube to chew on while they just chatted to him

I'm just getting fed up now. We have to constantly monitor where all the toys are. We encourage the boys to share and they are really kind and would never say no, but these people simply don't ask-just take them. One incident today in fact left me dumbfounded. I was getting into the pool by the steps holding a ring. I sat on the steps for a minute then noticed a family coming towards me chatting as they went. I asked if they wanted to get out and moved off the step. They nodded and a lady came towards me with her arms out asking for the ring-she had clearly thought I was offering it to her. I said no and then they were shrugging almost to say, 'oh charming, she wasn't letting you have it after all then!'

It's just so odd and getting frustrating now. We would never say no if they would ask and LOOK AFTER the stuff but they just don't and don't even seem to care when they break it. There is a language barrier so it's difficult to explain nicely. DP just wants to replace the broken things but it'll only happen again tomorrow I'm sure!

Sorry, but you need to grow a pair. You are teaching your kids that it's OK to get bullied and live their lives as complete pushovers.

Why the fuck did you allow a kid in a pushchair to chew in your stuff for an hour? It's absolutely ridiculous.

There is no reason whatsoever to encourage your kids to share their stuff with strangers - it simply isn't normal. If would be different if they were other children that your kids were playing with, but strangers? Adult strangers? It's fucking mind-boggling.

You need to teach your children what are normal social boundaries. Before they grow up to be the adults that you are complaining about.

We had an almost identical experience in Spain last year, including an adult taking a swim ring from a child in the deep end. The swim ring eventually was punctured and she just kind of shrugged and then let it float away.They were english people.

I'm afraid I was too gobsmacked to say anything.

Why are you such door matts?

It's a parent's job to look after and protect their children, not to allow all and sundry to take the piss and make them feel as though their feelings/property are completely unimportant.

You really need to step up to the plate here.

If you're feeling polite then: "Oi, that ball/snorkel/ring isn't public property, it's mine. Don't you dare take my children's toys away from them. If you want a ball/snorkel/ring then go to the shop and buy one. Like I did"

If not so much then: "Oi, you ignorant twat, that ball/snorkel/ring isn't public public property, it's mine. If I ever see you go near my children or my belonging again I'll break your fucking face"

If there are other British families there as well I'd suggest balling the polite option quite loudly. I'd also suggest moaning at the other British families about them. Get people on your side.

Fuck that! Say no to everyone, including kids, and if someone takes something get up and get it back.
I'd be going ballistic short fuse

Stop being so stiff upper lip about it. Nothing's going to change unless you actually say something rather than sitting on your sunbed frowning at people and expecting them to wilt under your stern gaze in that ridiculous oh so polite British way so many of us do!

I don't really go on pool/beach holidays, so maybe I'm missing some etiquette but I wouldn't borrow other people's stuff - I wouldn't ask, much less just take! If they were playing with something I liked the look of I'd buy one.
You need to start saying no, OP.

Are they Russian by any chance? Seems to be a poolside culture clash going on with them at resorts across Europe.

I don't really understand how this is happening?

Where are you when all these things are being taken off your children and destroyed? Do you allow them to play in the pool unsupervised? Is that allowed?

You need to be present and watching when young children are in a swimming pool. Then when these things happen you can intervene surely? Or do you mean you are there but you just let it happen and then complain about it on MN afterwards? That isn't really going to resolve anything is it? Big Girls Pants!

DSis grew a great line in "Watchew stealing that for?" type sentences when Dnephew was little.

Including the woman who asked if her DC could have a go on his skateboard, she wanted to see if they could get he hang of it before she bought one.

Half an hour later she returned gave DN a tenner and went to walk off with the board he had spent 3 years worth of birthday, Christmas and pocket money building! She was suprised when DSis and DN made a fuss about it and snatched it back as she was loading it into the back of her car!

Some people just don't seem to think your possessions are private until they get their hands on them - and then they become theirs

Since you've asked yes we're in Turkey and it's been Turkish families.
Don't get me wrong, we don't just put up with it. When the woman who had already broken one water squirter picked up the other one, I shouted 'No' and showed her the one she had broken. She just said 'OK',
put it down and swam away. The men who popped the ring were spoken to by my DP and asked to buy a new one. They did eventually after trying to say they had no money with them!

I just find it hard to take things back for no apparent reason eg if our own DC don't actually want them but you're right, we'll have to from now on and explain to the children that some people don't seem to be able to look after things properly like we do so we'll just have to say only we use them from now on.

Once was the baddie in this story, when we went to a local swimming pool which did provide those long foam stick things of a certain brand and colour. We saw one on the side and took it as usual, and played with it for half an hour. Then a man came up and shouted at us for taking his child's toy . Obviously apologised and gave it back, explaining that the swimming pool usually had ones just like that, and he didn't believe us! Definitely write your name all over it in permanent marker, with a hand with a line through it beneath!

You just make sure your kids bring the toys back to you before they have something else and don't let any other bugger use them.

Be selfish.

What a lot of shocking behaviour. I don't agree with RealityCheque that letting strangers have a go with your stuff isn't normal - at least at the lido we go to, people share their stuff - but generally people are polite about it, and treat borrowed things with respect.
And picking up someone else's woggle that's floating around in the pool is a million miles from swiping something from under someone else's lounger.

Ravenmum that doesn't make you the baddie in my book, it makes him very rude.

Am completely that anybody would actually remove a swimming aid from a small child!!

If somebody did that to my child I would flip.

Wherever you are, I never want to go there. I would probably get myself arrested.

Shout 'Defol' or 'Siktir Git' at them...

The first one is marginally politer.

YY you need to state BOCOLATE FAMILY ONLY as often as necessary.

Such a shame when you have been there before without this issue, it must feel sort of a kick in the teeth that things have changed. But hope you have a lovely holiday despite this.

I would be telling people to give my children their things back the second they touched them. No way would I be letting strangers ruin my kids stuff

If I experienced that sort of behaviour I would be in there like a shot, no way would I stand for it. Adults can be worse than children.

I got into a big argument with a Russian man's bodyguard outside a restaurant where we were all eating a year ago on holiday. Lots of families trying to enjoy a meal on the terrace and he had his phone on full volume watching some film with really loud shooting. I gesticulated , smiling, that he might want headphones. he laughed at me. I complained to the waiter who basically suggested Russians pay lots so he wouldn't upset him. bodyguard came over to "have a word". i love "a word". we were in my home country. so i let rip and threatened to call the police if he wanted to continue intimidating me. The Russian guy left. Peace was restored. you will sometimes get culture clashes but usually there is a solution and funnily enough it isn't always resolved by being the brashest/richest person in the place.

rant and digression over!! good luck.

Similar type thing happened on our holiday this year in Majorca, but was only the kids taking each other's stuff not the adults. They all played with each other's boats/lilo's/toys and unfortunately some did get broken. Was confusing though as the hotel also provided some inflatables and tots so you never knew if they were the hotels or not.

They sound bonkers - who takes a swimming aid off a non-swimming child and leaves him struggling?!

It does sound like you have an awful lot of toys though. I would probably be tempted to allow the DC to take one or two toys down to the pool at a time and to take responsibility for them - apart from anything else, it must be taking up quite a lot of space in the pool and/or poolside having all this stuff, not to mention the issues keeping track of it all.

I don't really see what else you can do without constantly asking people for the stuff back, which isn't particularly relaxing for anyone.

Labelling is your friend here I'd have thought then they can't pretend they didn't know they were yours. Also if they want to 'borrow' stuff find out what the phrase is for "€20 an hour to rent. Pay €10 deposit now" and repeat it without any hint of a smile so they know you aren't joking.

Don't let anyone borrow your stuff, be vigilant and tell the kids to not allow borrowing. I don't understand why people are just taking stuff.