Just been screamed at by my neighbour

[GettingScaredNow]

Because I asked that she stop buzzing my flat when she doesn't have her entry key with her after 7pm.

I have 2 small DC. She has 2 older DC. There seem to be people coming and going all the time from her flat. Her dad (I assume) and her sister are around a lot. There is always an adult in her flat with the kids. I appreciate she works and the council only gives out one set of keys. You have to buy more.

However, when she goes to work and returns late she routinely buzzes in using my number. As does her visitors. I can only assume so as not to wake her own children.
There are 4 flats on each floor so she could choose either of the other 2 to buzz but it's always me.

Tonight she buzzed and it woke both my children. I quite often have the buzzer on mute but forgot to do it tonight.
I let her in but said 'please don't buzz my number again. I have young DC and you wake them up regularly by buzzing'
She then knocked at my door and proceeded to yell at me in a mix of French, Arabic and English about how rude the English are and it's just courtesy to let your neighbour in and this is why everyone hates this country etc.
I slammed the door in her face to avoid punching her

I just really don't understand how some people's minds work. I never would buzz a neighbour that I knew had small children in the evening and if I was desperate and had to I would apologise profusely!

And you are also dependable with the slant of your posts. But that doesn't make me feel all secure.

Hit a raw nerve methinks

Oh dear you shouldn't get your knickers in such a knot about people online.

Nope I'm not like I said got to do some work, I get paid for that, not talking to you, so you can have a nice chat with yourself now can't you?

how old are you?

Old enough to have a client waiting for some work. Like I said more important, have a lovely evening...

Go for it then

YANBU about your neighbour, but you are wrong about Islam and divorce.

It is true that a man has more rights to divorce than a woman, but a woman may petition a panel or imam for divorce under khula (a Muslim woman's right to divorce under Sharia). However, if the imam or panel refuses then she's screwed.

That is very interesting to know.

At first STBXH was all 'I'll go direct to an imam and get rid of you ASAP!'
But now he's being a bit more like 'I'll do it wen I'm ready and you have no choice but to wait til I want it'

And it has slightly concerned me, as a friend mumbled about sharia law favouring fathers in custody issues. And if STBXH took the kids to Algeria and we are still married he could refuse to give them back and I'm buggered.
I am putting a PSO in place, and will now research a little further into me getting a divorce from the imam then.
Although, I've no idea who the imam was, which mosque he was from... Absolutely nothing and I don't think I even have the marriage certificate anywhere!

I heart fanjo

That sounded like a lifestyle choice. I meant the calling out of racist BS

Op its matters not one jot, sharia law is not legally valid here. its totally irrelevant re divorce laws. If you are worried he will take them abroad, let authorities know

It is true that a man has more rights to divorce than a woman, but a woman may petition a panel or imam for divorce under khula (a Muslim woman's right to divorce under Sharia). However, if the imam or panel refuses then she's screwed.

er no, not under British law which is the relevant and over riding law here in the uk!

Cinnamon yes i thought you might have been coming out there

So, let me get this straight anyone of an ethnicity other than British can behave as badly as they like and we just have to accept it.

Is British an ethnicity? Who's talking about ethnicity apart from you?

She's shouted at you that it's accepted practice for people to let each other in - only if both parties have agreed to it. She's shouted that she hates this country. There's no reason why she should pick only your flat to be buzzed in.

Be careful, she may want you to move so that one of her relatives can apply for the flat. Bizarre as it sounds, keep your antenna up. Years ago a postman tried to give me so much hassle that he thought I would move. I complained about him and he was removed from my 'walk' as they call it. On his last day he popped a noted through my letterbox saying that if I ever want to sell my house I should contact him, and he gave a cellphone number.

Interestingly enough, when his campaign started my first thought was 'He wants my house' but I dismissed it because it sounded totally daft. But my intuition was spot on.

Getting yur Amazon kettle from her will be the opportunity for you to smile sweetly for taking it in, but about the other matter ..... pls don't buzz me after xxx because my children are trying to get to sleep.

If she gives you a mouthful, or continues to buzz, then you buzz her flat from time to time, just to annoy. Some people learn ony when they experience something viscerally.

This thread is bonkers

Can you sellotape her buzzer button down so it just buzzes constantly on your way out one day?

But on a serious not next time when she buzzes answer the buzzer and say "no" and don't buzz open the door.

Yes this thread is bonkers, why I left and went to do something more constructive. My advice to the OP is still ignore, mute the buzzer don't rise to any rudeness remain polite but distant.

Oh and I don't believe it should come down to any sort of talk about what country or nationality one is, it is about personal politeness and the way one acts as an individual. If the lady in question disagrees with your personal choices (the divorce) that is her private view of the matter. However as long as you are polite but firm about the issue and show that you are not going to react she will most likely stop doing it eventually. In the meantime, as soon as your children go to bed, mute the buzzer and don't answer the door. There are people who are rude and full of vitriol from all walks of life and from every corner of the world, the best way is to ignore.