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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just been screamed at by my neighbour

72 replies

GettingScaredNow · 09/08/2016 20:56

Because I asked that she stop buzzing my flat when she doesn't have her entry key with her after 7pm.

I have 2 small DC. She has 2 older DC. There seem to be people coming and going all the time from her flat. Her dad (I assume) and her sister are around a lot. There is always an adult in her flat with the kids. I appreciate she works and the council only gives out one set of keys. You have to buy more.

However, when she goes to work and returns late she routinely buzzes in using my number. As does her visitors. I can only assume so as not to wake her own children.
There are 4 flats on each floor so she could choose either of the other 2 to buzz but it's always me.

Tonight she buzzed and it woke both my children. I quite often have the buzzer on mute but forgot to do it tonight.
I let her in but said 'please don't buzz my number again. I have young DC and you wake them up regularly by buzzing'
She then knocked at my door and proceeded to yell at me in a mix of French, Arabic and English about how rude the English are and it's just courtesy to let your neighbour in and this is why everyone hates this country etc.
I slammed the door in her face to avoid punching her

I just really don't understand how some people's minds work. I never would buzz a neighbour that I knew had small children in the evening and if I was desperate and had to I would apologise profusely!

OP posts:
BeenThereDoneThatForgotten · 11/08/2016 23:10

Some nice racist GF stuff here then?

BurningBridges · 11/08/2016 23:35

(What's racist GF?)

SoleBizzz · 11/08/2016 23:41

Goad Fucker. Either doesn't believe OP... or is calling responses racist

RealityCheque · 11/08/2016 23:49

Phone Amazon and demand they send another. They should not have left it with a neighbour without your prior consent.

e1y1 · 11/08/2016 23:58

This reply has been deleted

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RattataPidgeyRattataPidgey · 12/08/2016 00:01

Your country is so shit you leave to come here. Cos it offers a better standard of living.

So she told you that's why she's in the UK during one of your BFF chats over coffee, then?

As for the person upthread who can't cope with criticism of the UK from foreigners without exploding - give yourself a shake, love. Every country is shit in some ways. Especially for foreigners. Use some fucking critical thinking.

BurningBridges · 12/08/2016 00:56

who cares if she's come from the moon or Croydon, she doesn't get to ring your buzzer ever again.

Hariasa · 12/08/2016 01:09

She shouldn't be ringing your buzzer and she absolutely shouldn't have shouted at you.

However.

I know loads of Britsh expats who are rude about the country they are living in.

Let's be a little bit careful about the responses on this thread.

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/08/2016 01:18

I would read BuzzerBitch's go at you as 'the best form of defence is attack'. She knows she's in the wrong, but doesn't want to apologise so turns it back on you.

I'd buzz her repeatedly for that. Accidentally of course.

VaginaJones · 12/08/2016 01:46

Did you say she spoke some Arabic?? Quick get your story reported to the Daily Mail/Daily Express and practice your best dm sad face........ Sad
You could make some decent money out of this confrontation.
Make sure you emphasise how much she hated living here too.

aurynne · 12/08/2016 04:18

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Pinocchiowise · 12/08/2016 06:47

Poor you op must been very traumatic for you

sportinguista · 12/08/2016 07:01

You know there is this perception that if you are British that casual racism towards you by another nationality is ok, you should suck it up. If the situations were reversed and it was the Op pressing the buzzer and waking the other lady's children then saying well you're being rude because it's your culture and everyone hates you, how would that be taken? It's not acceptable by anyone, whatever.

In terms of the buzzer situation, mute the buzzer at night and ignore. If the situation escalates report her both to the council and the police for harassment, I think you will soon find that she decides the £15 for keys sounds like a bargain.

Original poster
GettingScaredNow · 12/08/2016 07:51

I didn't mean to come off racist or presumptuous.
My STBXH is Algerian and they would chatter away together in Arabic in the hall way.
He also had the same view about England and British people.
He mentioned that she had come here when she was pregnant as the hospitals and care etc is better here then in Algeria. So I do have a little back ground info.

And I guess even if she had left Algeria for different reasons (ie NOT because it's a worse country then here) no one is forcing her to stay. She's been given a council flat and benefits (yes I do know as she has asked me questions about them in the lift and hallway before. Her English is poor and she often needed help with this sort of stuff)

She was always very friendly and nice enough, and she knows my husband has moved out now. And suddenly she turns.
I've noticed this from the wives of his friends as well. Only one is Irish and she is the only one who is still in contact. The other Algerian wives have all cut contact or been rude when we have bumped into each other because I'm divorcing him. Which isn't allowed under sharia law (apparently, I'm no expert but I believe the man can divorce be woman not the other way round)

I am going to complain to Amazon as I had left a note to say to leave with neighbour if I was out. But had specified a different door number. Things have been left with this one before and it can be a nightmare getting them back as they often just don't answer the door!

OP posts:
sportinguista · 12/08/2016 12:05

I would just avoid as much as possible. We have a similar issue with one neighbour and have the same specification with Amazon, I think you can put it as a note on your account so you don't forget to add it for each order. It is not worth getting into conflict, but at the same time if she is agressive just leave it up to the authorities. Don't show you care about how she is behaving just ignore and live your life, she will soon get bored.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 12/08/2016 12:19

Phone Amazon and demand they send another. They should not have left it with a neighbour without your prior consent.

But then won't Buzzer Bitch get a free kettle? Angry

sandrapanda · 12/08/2016 12:42

You believe wrong OP, a Muslim woman can divorce a man, wherever did you get that from!?

As for her ringing your buzzer just don't buzz her in, she'll soon get the message.

Original poster
GettingScaredNow · 12/08/2016 13:25

From several Muslim friends and from the divorce certificate I saw from my STBXH's first marriage.
I can of course divorce him in law, but the religious marriage (the one under sharia law) has to be the man divorcing the woman. There is (apparently) no scope for a woman to approach an imam and ask for a divorce.
That and the man can ask for a divorce, but specify a 'take back' period in which he can change his mind and call off the divorce and effectively a woman has no choice in it.
This is what I have been led to believe anyway. I haven't bothered to research it as I didn't consider it a priority. Under uk law I can -and am - divorcing him.
I could be wrong about all the above.
But that is the reason his friends wives are no longer speaking to me.
I have left him and am divorcing him which they don't agree is my right to do.
I don't really care that much tbh!

I'm not going to complain and let her keep the kettle. But I have instructions with a specific door number of where a parcel can be left and it isn't the number of BuzzerBitch!
If I can be bothered to complain it will be to make the point, not to gain anything.

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 12/08/2016 14:01

Phone Amazon and demand they send another. They should not have left it with a neighbour without your prior consent
I would be inclined to do that too.

I was speaking to a postman the other day and he says that they are now told to hand parcels to any neighbour rather than bring them back to the delivery centre.

To me that seems wrong especially as there is no way to inform the Royal Mail of which neighbours are OK to leave stuff with and which are not.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2016 14:03

Is she a Britain first meme made flesh

sportinguista · 12/08/2016 19:05

So, let me get this straight anyone of an ethnicity other than British can behave as badly as they like and we just have to accept it. But we have to be very lovely to them no matter what they say or do or how hurt we feel over it?

Just glad you put me right Fanjo, I need to know that people can treat me anyway they like if they are from elsewhere.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2016 19:15

Point proven

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2016 19:16

The situation reminded me of a britain first meme.

The kind designed to get posters like you all outraged.

sportinguista · 12/08/2016 19:23

I'm not outraged if anything I'm actually amused at you popping up with that comment, couldn't you tell I was being fascetious?

You've not proven anything, well maybe one thing, that you can always be relied upon for the same way of looking at things. I like a bit of reliability in life, thank you for providing me with that reassuring feeling!

Have a lovely evening.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2016 19:24

You're getting a bit get up about my throwaway comment.