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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stay home all day?

70 replies

Jmangel · 09/08/2016 15:11

Just had one of those can't be bothered getting dressed and made up days as my skin is having a shocking rosacea outbreak and I'm exhausted coming back from a family holiday - which believe was not a holiday!
So decided to stay home with DDs 4 and 6.
We've done baking, painting, monopoly, stencilling and sequin art plus dress up and a DVD. They are having a lovely day getting to play with things they usually don't have time for as we're rushing around all the time.
DH has just popped home for 10 minutes and first thing he said when he saw me in my slobs and no make up face was, "so you haven't taken them out yet?" in a really disapproving tone.
This has totally pissed me off especially the yet which implies I still should! I had planned to have a toy room clean up and put away holiday packing before making dinner. Just feel like he thinks I've done nothing all day. Sorry needed to vent.

OP posts:

JessieMcJessie · 10/08/2016 07:18

Unless you live 6 to a single room in a damp beds it with no natural light, YANBU. The list of things that you have done with them is over and above normal effort. Your DH is being a twat. Does he agree with staying inside when it rains, or is he one of those tedious "no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes" types?

phoenix1973 · 10/08/2016 07:28

Yanbu.
I haven't got the money to pay for endless activities like the zoo etc.
We stay at home and she uses the trampoline, draws, reads,writes, surfs, watches the Simpsons. Sometimes we play monopoly and one game goes on for a week or we play connect 4.
Yesterday we walked into town (4 mile round trip) and did the treasure hunt and reading challenge at the library.
Bought her a subway which she hoovered up. She made choc chunk cookies which were lush.
Today meeting the g.parents for lunch and playground.
MAY invite her mate over for an hour (OPK alert, yuk).
I work 2 days out of the 5 so that's not so bad.

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 10/08/2016 07:44

Husband needs to take a chill pill.
Nothing wrong with doing that, sounds like you all need to do this much more often.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/08/2016 07:55

Some times kids need to just be.

Just being is a skill that is often lacking

Boleh · 10/08/2016 08:06

Thinking back, my overriding memories of my childhood holidays are of playing in the paddling pool and sprinkler in the garden or in my friends garden. Over all my school holidays I vaguely remember one theme park, a zoo and some day trips to the science museum and natural history museum. I'm sure my mum did loads more days out with us, but the sprinkler in the garden was definitely the best!

Wellywife · 10/08/2016 08:13

We called them 'pyjama days' and they were DD's favourites. Agree that most of our DC are overstimulated. We need more down time so DC learn how to be able to sit and think without endless structured entertainment. Or how to decide to do something for themselves. DD (now 13) decided to reorganise the fridge yesterday!

Juanbablo · 10/08/2016 08:16

Yanbu at all. We have had to have some stay at home days over the last few weeks due to a sickness bug but no one has actually felt ill. But I think the children have appreciated it. They've been able to play and watch tv and just chill. Admittedly ds1 who has ADHD does drive me mental if we stay in all day I think it's important even for him to learn to relax at home. Today we are going for a little walk into the village to get some baking supplies then making cakes as per dd's request. I had a huge clear up yesterday so I think we will get the play doh out this afternoon and I will just let the children get on with it. There's nothing wrong with staying at home sometimes.

Patterkiller · 10/08/2016 08:27

A great skill to learn is how to be bored. Life doesn't mean to be full every waking hour.

The best creative and magical games happen out of boredom.

mogloveseggs · 10/08/2016 08:35

Yanbu. I could do with one of those days today but have plans. Tomorrow maybe.

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 10/08/2016 08:40

I like to have at least one 'in-day' a week during the holidays. Your day wouldn't count as one of my 'in-days' - far too much planning involved! DD has to find ways of entertaining herself when we're having a lazy day.

It sounds like a great day and your DH was being an idiot. YANBU.

DeadGood · 10/08/2016 08:46

I have a friend like this, she thinks that simply being outside is laudable. Anyone who dares to stay inside for an entire day is lazy.

Personally, I like actually getting stuff done (projects, cooking, housework, gardening, whatever). Being outside just for the sake of it is a bit of a waste of time.

imwithspud · 10/08/2016 08:47

YANBU, there's nothing wrong with staying in. Personally I need days at home to get on with chores and what not anyway otherwise it mounts up.

It's good for children to be left to their own devices every now and then. I think most children enjoy it too.

5moreminutes · 10/08/2016 08:48

You stayed at home but you didn't do nothing - I'd actually say you scheduled their time quite heavily, with 7 different "activities" not including the toy room clean up and putting away packing still on the agenda - not a lazy day or practice at being bored at all, just a day where the packed agenda with the kids happened to be at home!

When I take the kids out all day I usually do it at least in part for the perk of not having to do any house work or laundry that day :o

We try to have a mix though - we go away for part of the summer holiday, and have a couple of "big" days out - the older children also go on some special outings with a holiday club, on other days we do little outings - swimming or a bike ride or a wander in the forest (not a hike type walk, normally more an explore with one of the kids as leader deciding where we go) or just out for an icecream, and of course the kids have friends over and do sleep overs etc.

But at least 1/3 of summer holiday days we do nothing at all and go nowhere, and the kids play together and play out with neighbourhood kids and I don't organise or suggest any activities at all - they make their own entertainment very well indeed, and as long as it isn't every day I think they need those days - they are the proper recovery from the timetabled pressure of term time.

SendARavenToRiverRun · 10/08/2016 08:51

I'm sorry to say I'm a bit like your DH ( not the rude questioning though!). I hate being in the house and constantly like to be out. Walking, bike riding park something, anything! It drives my kids mad and they beg for a day inside. We so stay in but even then I'm climbing the walls to get some fresh air.
I know I know kids need to be bored and the stuff we do is generally not the big ticket stuff. It's just the though of sitting festering in pjs that makes my skin crawl!
Rest assured we do do it though my kids love it and I guess it's their holiday!

They love nothing better than DVDs and den building. Luckily we have lots of outdoor space so I tend to take painting and games outside so a change of scenery

5moreminutes · 10/08/2016 08:54

I would find having the kids indoors all day a bit stifling and would struggle not to get cross - I do get the idea kids need to be outdoors! That is because one of mine in particular cannot control his energy indoors all day, if it really is all day, from waking to bedtime, though and starts physically throwing himself about on furniture and gets very, very loud... he needs kicking out for a few hours. He doesn't need "taking" out, he just needs to be allowed to go out and run/ cycle/ kick a ball about with his siblings/ friends or even alone on the local field...

If you have calm "indoor" kids there is nothing wrong with an indoor day - it doesn't work for all kids but I could probably do it with 2 of mine if I felt the need, just not the 3rd...

A neighbour enforces "indoor days" once a week or so in summer as she believes her kids need it to genuinely relax and wind down, and I must admit I don't see why there is an actual need to be indoors specifically...

amidawish · 10/08/2016 09:01

we often don't leave the house. my dc just like to be left in peace and given food every now and again!!

it's good for them, not all the time granted, but every now and again. especially if you've just been away they need a wind down day to be left to their own devices. don't feel guilty!

cherryplumbanana · 10/08/2016 09:04

Again, nothing wrong with spending a day at home.

However, I completely disagree about kids being overstimulated nowadays and having to learn to be bored. In many cases (of course, none of the posters children do this), it means kids spending their days watching tv instead of playing outside. Some children watch tv every morning before going to school! That's a recent thing - I am not even sure when children series started to be programmed first thing in the morning.

I don't remember spending a whole day inside when I was growing up, unless grounded, and we might watch a movie a week but the tv was not on during the summer holidays.

Kids do spend a lot more time indoors that they use to, and it's not a good thing. We should all encourage our kids to be more active, not less. Most adults need to be more active themselves anyway.

MrsJayy · 10/08/2016 09:05

Kids dont need to be entertained every day there is nothing wrong with them mooching about at home and being a bit bored not that they were bored you did stuff with them but kids need to learn to entertain themselves

bellasuewow · 10/08/2016 09:12

You have done loads with them, he needs to bog off

LewisAndClark · 10/08/2016 09:15

I can't go out without support at the moment. So the kids (we have three) have either had days in or gone out with other people. DD is currently at grandmas having a great old time, ds2 went to his other grandmas yesterday for lunch and today we're having a tv and chill day. Ds1 is happy plugged in to his pc all day. We had a busy weekend and were out most of the days.

There's no law that says kids have to leave the house every day. If there was I'd be screwed.

BeyondLovesSweetDee · 10/08/2016 09:16

Yesterday I stayed in my pjs and watched nine episodes of Vikings in bed, while the kids played on the PlayStation. And we all snacked on crap all day. YANBU

5moreminutes · 10/08/2016 09:18

cherry TV before school is recent in a historical sense but not that recent - I remember my sister being glued to The Big Breakfast before school in the very early 1990s...

pointlessperson · 10/08/2016 09:18

Yanbu that is exactly what I'm doing today...

AvonCallingBarksdale · 10/08/2016 09:18

I really, really miss this now that I'm working FT. We used to have loads of "home days" in the long summer break, and the DC loved them. I dislike the fact that now, apart from our fortnight holiday, I have to meticulously plan the time off school . Sounds like you had a lovely day and your DH is wrong

Polska03 · 10/08/2016 09:22

YANBU. My husband does this. He thinks I should take out our 14 month old DS every bloody day! I'm a homebird, I like being at home and pottering about. I find going out is alot of effort! I aim to try and take DS out 2/3 times in 4 days. Why is that not enough?!

I bet if your DH actually asked your DD's he'd find out they are having a lovely day! Sounds like you've made the day really nice and fun for them, its not like you've stuck them in front of the TV all day is it!!

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