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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that this is too much money for BBQ contribution?

109 replies

jomidmum · 07/08/2016 11:06

Last week some relatives kindly asked us over for a BBQ. We asked what they would like us to take along. They said some chicken kebabs and some burgers. No problem.
BUT then they said that they only consume meat purchased from a certain local butchers shop, and could we please buy it there.
So we did. It cost £25. For 8 burgers and 4 chicken breasts.
AIBU to think that it's not OK to name an expensive shop? Our food budget is £60 a week for 4 of us.
Obviously we'll just move on but I do think it was a bit cheeky.

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/08/2016 13:47

Don't eat meat now

Roussette · 07/08/2016 14:02

just a few days ago went to one butchers (where the animals are hand reared to an exceptional standard on their own land): a kilo of beef mince, 4 burgers, 4 (massive) chicken breast, 2 chicken legs and a pie was a little over £20

How in the name of all tht is holy, do you get all that for £20???

Even in Tesco mince would be £8 for a kilo, 4 massive chicken breasts would be £8-10, a pie could be anything upwards of £3, and 4 burgers well... unless they are thin cheap ones they'd be £6 for 4, and chicken legs too.... so at Tesco price that's £30 minimum let alone the fact it's hand reared meat Shock

Please tell me there's a branch of this shop near me! I can honestly say that all of that at my local butchers would be more than £40 (which is why I don't use it - too expensive)

dogornodog · 07/08/2016 14:14

YANBU at all.

When we have a big BBQ we provide meat and bread and ask guests to bring a salad or desert. Seems to work quite well and takes a lot of the stress away as we're not spending hours prepping bits.

When we have smaller BBQs we provide all food and people would usually bring some drink but we tend to have plenty.

TheNaze73 · 07/08/2016 14:19

I think they were royally taking the piss. YANBU

dizzyfeck · 07/08/2016 14:22

That's messed up. Invite you for a bbq and then ask you to provide your own food. Also burgers and chicken breasts cost £25, how many did you buy? We have a lot of bbq's as we're in the southern hemisphere (it's in the air). We never ask people for contributions, if they bring salad, drinks or sausages that's great, if not, no problem.
But chicken breasts Grin those are not bbq food! Just for that they are being unreasonable!

Aeroflotgirl · 07/08/2016 14:31

Very rude and cheeky, especially if your hosting and want certain food. I wod have declined their BBq

expatinscotland · 07/08/2016 14:53

YANBU. I wouldn't have gone along with it because I wouldn't have been able to afford that (the kids start school up here in a fortnight, so this month is buy uniform month), and would have told them this is the reason I would have to decline. People can only pisstake when others enable them.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 07/08/2016 14:59

Very cheeky indeed, I wouldn't dream of inviting people to a bbq and asking them to supply food (sometimes drinks, yes but not food!)

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 07/08/2016 15:00

If there are only 4 of you, why did you buy enough food for 12? If they asked everyone to do that they must have been incredibly over-catered.

If I'm asked to bring food to something like that I would cater for about 50% more than my family would normally eat. So probably four burgers and 2 chicken breasts (to make about 6 kebabs).

cressetmama · 07/08/2016 15:54

This is a big farming area (livestock, not arable) and I usually think supermarket meat is about the same price as the independents, just without the reassurance of high welfare standards. One I use sells six large chicken leg quarters for £5. However, I do think YANBU to be peeved and that you hosts were rude for being so specific. I also think that butcher overcharges!

dizzyfeck · 07/08/2016 16:57

where the animals are hand reared to an exceptional standard on their own land): a kilo of beef mince, 4 burgers, 4 (massive) chicken breast, 2 chicken legs and a pie was a little over £20.

Hand-reared? Confused. Does that mean they took the calves and chicks from their mothers and hand fed them? My cows spend 90% of their waking hours grazing, are we supposed to believe that they have workers hand feeding cows on shifts and people teaching chicks how to dig up insects to eat?

I suspect this actually means the animals don't feed themselves, so cows are in barns eating from trofts rather than outside grazing pasture and chickens are not free to roam outside and dig up insects. I would be very sceptical of these terms. As a farmer's wife I think it sounds like they're pulling a fast one and making unnatural feeding methods sound organicy and fresh.

228agreenend · 07/08/2016 17:03

£25! I bought 8sausages, 4 beef burgers, a pack of bbq pork ribs and 2 pun nets of strawberries from our local butcher. The cost was about £12.

mrsfuzzy · 07/08/2016 17:21

i only eat humanely rear veggie burgers that have enjoyed a good life running free in the great out doors, tell the cheeky wotnots it's harrods only food if they are visiting none of your common waitrose or m&s rubbish.

BikeGeek · 07/08/2016 18:23

Even in Tesco mince would be £8 for a kilo

Not here, 2 quid for 500 grams so 4 quid a kilo. Our local farm shop is actually even cheaper than that for beef mince if buying in bulk - 2kg for 6 quid. Their meat is normally the same price or cheaper than supermarkets but far better quality.

Anastar23 · 08/08/2016 16:57

If you were invited to a bbq I don't see why you were asked to take anything personally! There choice to have a bbq and invite x amount of people if they couldn't cater for everyone then they shouldn't have a bbq. Drink or pudding or a side fair enough. Vvvvv cheeky. I would have taken aldi burgers and asked them to cook them for me Grin

Gilly12345 · 08/08/2016 17:06

The hosts should provide the bulk of the food as it is their BBQ, next time if there is a next time just take a bottle of wine or a nice dessert, they were extremely cheeky although I do understand people are particular about meat these days, they should of provided the meat and if guests asked what they should bring then the answer should be nothing but yourselves or bring a bottle.

GloGirl · 08/08/2016 17:06

KingJoffret are you my husband? My ?Mother will only eat M&S or Sainsburys. Conveniently she has a Sainburys near her house and we have an M&S near ours. Hmm

And because we have pets I can't take anything home made.

Granard · 08/08/2016 17:28

When I lived in South Africa, people brought their own meat if they were invited to a BBQ (braai) and they ate their own meat. They also brought their own drink in a cooler box and drank their own drink. The host provided salad and maybe a potato bake!

I thought it was a really weird custom!

I think in this case it's not just cheeky, but rude, to specify where you'd like the guest to buy the meat from.

meck · 08/08/2016 17:30

I don't think it was ok for them to request you buy from a specific shop. If they only eat organic and free range etc etc then this is fine to specify as at least then you can shop around.

AgentPineapple · 08/08/2016 17:30

Next time bring the salad Grin

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 08/08/2016 17:45

Shall I bring a pud?

..,, never leave the goal open. Cheeky fuckers put that one in the back of the net.

mammamic · 08/08/2016 17:49

YABU

you could have asked why that particular butcher rather than assume they are being cheeky - which don't think they are.

You could always have said that you'll get it from a butcher of your choice - it's not like you were being forced to shop at the specific butchers.

We try to eat meat that has been ethically reared, free range and organic. If ppl knew what off the shelf meat has been through before it gets to said shelf, we'd all be vegetarian - regardless of animal cruelty issues.

If people spoke up instead of judging other people for their choices, there'd be a lot less AIBU threads.

Happyhippy45 · 08/08/2016 17:52

Very cheeky indeed!
I'm a chef and some folks have stepped over the mark when I ask if we can bring anything. "Oh can you bring some labour intensive fiddly dish those appetisers you made last time we were at yours?"
We've been invited to BBQs and ended up doing the cooking. On some occasions it was a bit cheeky as we didn't know the hosts all that well. Myself and OH lived in the USA for a good while so we're well practiced in the art. It's kind of expected with some friends that my OH will do the cooking and I'll be his assistant. telling him when to turn things and when things are cooked and bringing him beer
For the most part I enjoy doing it and it's always well appreciated that their chicken and sausages aren't burnt on the outside and raw in the middle!
Next time ask if you can bring a salad or dessert.

Mrsglitterfairy · 08/08/2016 17:57

You are most definitely not BU. Whenever we have a BBQ it's an unspoken rule that everyone brings something but we never specifically ask for anything. Someone mIght bring steak, someone else might bring a big bag of crisps or some lemonade. It's all down to how much spare cash they have at the time. I get what people are saying as to you shouldn't expect guests to provide the meat but we're the only ones of our friends who have a house & garen big enough to have everyone round but also can't afford to put all the food on everytime so everyone's happy to chip in

2kids2dogsnosense · 08/08/2016 18:11

Blimey Glogirl - is she worried you'll stick a guinea pig in your pasties or something?

My SIL used to be a right fanny when it came to our pets. Her two kids had a goldfish (each - she isn't mean Grin) and we had two dogs and a cat, When they visited it was "Oh, God - you've touched the dog - was your hands NOW!" etc - I was insulted.

Once when her daughter was kissing the dog I said - "Don't kiss the dog, pet - she might get worms." SIL went off it!

It is however, interesting to note that both her kids caught (and still catch) every bug going, and developed allergies to everything that they eat, drink, touch or breathe, and mine rarely have anything wrong with them and have cast-iron stomachs (nature's way of helping them survive my cooking, no doubt).