To ask about anniversaries

[WarwickDavisAsPlates]

In every relationship I've been in the other person has always wanted to celebrate our "anniversary". I've never really seen the appeal. I get the big ones like, 10, 20, 50 years together, that's kind of impressive.

I guess I'd just someone to explain the appeal to me.

It's just a celebration of the day you got married. What is there to understand?

For us it's just an excuse to go out for a nice meal and do something nice. Not a big deal. Even our recent 10th was a trip to the theatre and a nice dinner.

It was our 20th this year. We went out for breakfast.

Okay, it's important to your partner, but not important to you.

I'm sure there are things your partner doesn't get, that are a big deal to you?

It's like that.

Have you seen Parks and Recreation? A bit like Leslie Knope, Ben Wyatt and Lil Sebastian.

We don't really celebrate. But I totally get the appeal. Tbh another successful year together is something to be happy about.

And let's be honest even if it's just an excuse to go out, get each other something nice. Why not, if it suits you?

Neither me or dh are that fussed. So it works.

Can you compromise if you really don't want to and your dp does?

Some people like to celebrate the day they got married. What's so difficult to wrap your head around

I don't get, that you don't get this tbh

Yes it's a fairly easy to understand concept isn't it?

I don't get what's difficult to understand? For most people it's an opportunity to go out, have a nice meal and spend time with their partner. That's the appeal.

How is it difficult to understand, it's not rocket science.

Because it's nice to go out and it's nice to remember a really special day

I guess the appeal is that you're marking, acknowledging your relationship, hopefully the strength in it if you're at another anniversary date. Whether it's a wedding anniversary or another special date, it's time to celebrate what is hopefully a good part of your life.

Doesn't need to be extravagant, all flowers & diamonds and swanky restaurants.

But, it's fine if you don't see it as important ..... We're all different. But, if your DP is important to you, then it might be nice to acknowledge this is important for them, even if you're a bit ambivalent.

We're not married and won't ever be, I don't even know our exact anniversary - which I class as the day we met (think it's 3rd or 4th August). It was a long time ago now!!!

Ours have got more important the longer we have been together.

But what if you haven't had a good year? Like what if you're on the verge of slipping up? Do you still celebrate then?

We don't have enough money to celebrate stuff like that input relationship tbh. So we don't tend to actually do anything. My DH does care about it more than me but not enough to make a fuss.

It's my silver wedding anniversary in the next couple of weeks and I am a bit surprised about the expectation among some family and friends that we have have a massive celebration involving all of them. Each to their own and it's nice that they want to celebrate but I consider it to be a personal thing betwen DH and I really. We are planning to spend the day together without the children. Disagree with pp - I'd quite like some diamonds!

If you are on the verge of splitting up then I would imagine you wouldn't celebrate, no.

29 years tomorrow. Meh. We don't really bother with it. Another year of not murdering each other achieved.

We don't generally make a big fuss over our anniversaries but went away on city breaks (without DC) for our 10th & 20th.

Next big one is a couple of years off but coincides with my 50th birthday so we may have a party (DD's idea) or go away on a long haul trip as a family (my idea).

Well it's not compulsory OP, so you're in luck. Although if your DH would like to mark it in some small way, where's the harm in indulging him? Assuming you're still together because you still enjoy each other's company and like doing things together.

We celebtate every year, just a card and a nice day together. Nothing fancy. Isn't it nice to say "Aww... 7 years ago" and think about all the things that you've done/happened since? Thats the appeal to me.

Ex DP wanted to celebrate "Monthversaries" that was fucking draining but I just did it because it was important to him.

dementedma over 30yrs here and we only really bother with the "big" ones like our silver anniversary.

Come to think of it the next one will be Ruby [shock

Well, if you're on the verge of splitting, then you're unlikely to want to celebrate yourselves as a couple are you? . This thread is confusing. Is it state the obvious day or something?

We've been very happily married for four and a half-ish years and neither of us has more than the vaguest idea of when our anniversary is, which horrifies some family members.

I think part of the reason I don't understand it is because DH and I lived together for 4 years and had a child before we got married, so our married life is no different to the years preceding it. So I don't understand why our 1st wedding anniversary is any more important than the anniversary of say... When we moved in together?

I know it's not compulsory, just some people make such a huge deal of it and I wondered why they saw it as so important. My parents for example make a huge deal of every anniversary but from what I can see their marriage is more a test of endurance than something they enjoy.

I think doing something big for a big anniversary is a good idea because you've reached a big mile stone (like doing something big for your 50th bday) but the 1st anniversary, for example, just doesn't seem important to me.