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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog driving me mad, bot sure whether I'm being U want him rehired

208 replies

ginplease83 · 06/08/2016 21:17

I am very bloody cross. I gave my 22 month old a mini milk this afternoon and sat her on the sofa in our open plan kitchen watching tv whilst I did some food prep. She's in the same room and easily accessible. Our dog was in his bed the other side of the room.

I turned to put something in the fridge and she started screaming. I turned around and our labrador who is obsessed with food, has half jumped on the sofa and is taking her ice cream. I jump on the dog and remove him and reassure her. He knows that this was wrong as soon as he saw me noticing, he sprung up.

I don't think he can be trusted around our kids anymore and want him gone. My DH thinks Im over reacting and that i don't give the dog enough attention. He's walked very regularly but i don't have time to sit there and stroke him. Theres nowhere else for him to go in the house apart from a large kitchen and family room area. If I put him in the garden he rams himself into the fence to try and get to a neighbour's dog or he makes every attempt he can to get into our bins.

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 07/08/2016 10:06

WaitrosePigeon - she can be talking bollocks because that's categorically not how Battersea operates - they have a very firm policy of never putting a healthy dog down, certainly not for 'over enthusiastic greeting' and its exactly the is kind is shit - "oooh, rescues will put your dog to sleep as soon as look at them" - that lead to people putting their dogs up for rehome for on sites like gumtree where they end up as dog fighting bait. So yes, I think it is bollocks. And as I happen to volunteer there, and have done for years, I know for a fact it is untrue.

NavyandWhite · 07/08/2016 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toptoe · 07/08/2016 10:24

OP's dh made a committment to the dog. OP is struggling with the dog.

He sounds very lively. page advice is good - take him to some agility classes and enjoy training him - it has a massive affect on how you interact together and calms the dog right down because he can understand what you want from him.

NavyandWhite · 07/08/2016 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toolonglurking · 07/08/2016 11:43

I've got as far as page fourand I can't hold back any longer.

Why can't you take the dog for a walk during the day? I have a 4 month old DS and a 10 month old lab and I've just taken them both out for a 90 minute walk. Dog also got a 20 minute walk this morning, and will get another half hour tonight.

Labs need 2 hours of exercise a day, if you don't want to/are unwilling to give the dog what it needs, rehome it for its own sake.

By blaming your husband and expecting your dog to magically train itself you are being ridiculous.

You are also being ridiculous leaving an unsupervised child with food and your dog together and getting a shock when the dog does what comes naturally.

Houseconfusion · 07/08/2016 11:46

the OP doesn't have time to stroke the dog.

There it all really is, in a nutshell.

PageStillNotFound404 · 07/08/2016 12:56

toolong While I agree with your general points, the recommended amount of daily structured exercise - i.e. walks, not free play in a garden - for a healthy adult (12 months+) Labrador is between 45 mins - 1.5 hours depending on temperament and stamina. 2 hours 20 minutes a day for an immature dog seems a little excessive if that's the norm every day and may cause joint problems in the future. The "5 minutes a month" guideline would recommend that 50 minutes a day should be sufficient for a 10 month old dog.

PageStillNotFound404 · 07/08/2016 12:58

(I've had Labs and other retrievers all my life btw, so I'm not just talking out of my arse!)

ISpeakJive · 07/08/2016 13:10

Not sure why you're not taking the dog for a walk sometimes? Surely, you go out with your DD to the park, long walks etc

WeAllHaveWings · 07/08/2016 13:10

Your dog sounds intelligent and inquisitive and bored stiff. You don't sound engaged with your dog at all.

How much quality time you do you (not the dog walker or your dh) actually spend with him each day? Walking, training, playing etc.

You comments about the cage and putting him away actually concern me that he will spend a lot of time put away.

ElsieMc · 07/08/2016 13:33

Labs are extremely food driven. The breeder we bought from trains working labs and even he will post pics (when his labs are indoors) of them stealing food etc. That's because it cannot be trained out of their nature. The more positive side is that they are supposedly easier to train because they are food driven!

There is no point in waiting for your dog to mature up and grow out of food stealing because he won't. My lab bitch died this year age 12 and never grew out of her greediness. But that was part of her.

I now have two rehomes, working cockers, who are lovely, naughty, but not particularly food driven. It is such a shock to have to call them for their dinner. They do not seem overly fussed, but even they will try for a biscuit if the opportunity arises.

They are very prey driven and if they get a scent off the lead they will be off "scrambling", bringing me little presents I certainly don't want.

Sadly I think maybe the lab breed is not right for you from what you have described. Most people like labs, although they can be hard work, and you could rehome successfully which might be the best option for you all.

One of a couple wanting a dog, but leaving the other to do all the work rarely works so its a bit harsh you are taking so much flack.

kali110 · 07/08/2016 15:13

not your dogs Are beautiful!

Whenwillthisphaseend · 07/08/2016 15:59

If your dog is bored in the day there's plenty of toys that will stimulate him ball thrower, treat balls, Kongs etc. My dog will always scavenge she is greedy and if I left children unsupervised she would certainly take it from them, no amount of training would stop her being greedy, she eats fox shit literally anything ! I don't think it's sensible to leave your child unsupervised with food and he sounds quite a nice dog , mine resource guards food/toys yours is just trying to get a free meal, hide some treats around the garden. Rehoming over just this is pretty dramatic!

WaitrosePigeon · 07/08/2016 16:40

FenellaMaxwell she's not talking bollocks though, she also volunteered and said it happened. Why woodland she lie? We could also say you're talking bollocks by saying it doesn't happen.

GinIsIn · 07/08/2016 17:11

waitrosepigeon - Battersea's entire ethos is based around never putting a healthy dog down. Fairly major breech of ethics if they were lying. She says she worked there and they are. I say I worked there and it's not true. Clearly you wish to believe it for some reason, entirely up to you but I can assure you that it is wrong. I feel very, very strongly about animal welfare and really value the effort Battersea put in to finding homes for every animal that comes into their care so yes, I will say that libellous accusations are bollocks when I know them to be. Why would she lie? I have no idea. To be a it sensationalist perhaps? Why do you think I would lie either?

WaitrosePigeon · 07/08/2016 17:40

We could apply the same 'why would I lie' to the previous poster though?

You are a volunteer and I highly doubt you have access to inside information.

I'm not saying either of you are lying, but as the previous poster is a volunteer as well as yourself she has has given her side of what she has seen.

Just like you wouldn't lie, why would she? That's what I'm trying to get at. You can't call other posters opinions and experiences bollocks because they don't match your own - that's not fair.

harshbuttrue1980 · 07/08/2016 17:41

I don't have a dog at the moment, but was brought up with them. The absolutely best training method is Victoria Stilwell's, and she has lots of information online. She is firm but kind, and everything is done by rewarding good behaviour. Crates are fine in SMALL doses, but please don't lock him in for hours on end like a doggy prison. When you're eating, send him to his crate, which should have a dog bed, water and a treat-filled kong in it. A crate should never be a punishment. I wouldn't lock a dog in a crate for longer than 30 minutes. If you do it right using Victoria's methods, you should be able to ask your dog to go to the crate when you're eating and he'll lie down and eat his kong and you won't even need to lock him in, he'll have no fear of the crate

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/08/2016 17:53

Your dog sounds very young op and needs a lot of time and effort to become an amazing and loyal and loving companion. We loved our lab to bits. He did need a lot of time, training and stimulation in the first few years though. And he doesn't sound in the least bit dangerous.

These beasts are with a massive appetite and slow metabolism. DD was a massive food thrower so our chocolate lab had an amazing time and lots of food. He did start to steal from her hand so I trained him to go to his bed for meals. He crept out and I put him back each time until he remained in place.

Sadly our lovely lab passed 16 months ago. He was dds best friend. For the first 2 days of Dds life, he struggled to stay awake because he saw it as her job to protect her. He had to follow us everywhere as a baby - nappy changes, bath and bedtime. I always walked him every day. He needed the exercise. And I'm chronically ill and have fibromyalgia.

I know it's tough with a young child and dog. Please find time for him as well as you. And if you can't or won't, he sadly will have to be rehomed.

Mommawoo · 07/08/2016 18:14

Fennela- Have to disagree with you i'm afraid. I volunteered as a kennel assistant and MANY healthy dogs were pts. Never put a healthy dog down is the philosophy of the NCDL if I remember correctly, but they have a very strict entry criteria so can afford to do this. Battersea takes every dog that is brought to them or 'gifted' as they call it. Dogs with behavioral problems and those suspected to be pittbull crosses are pts. When I said over enthusiastic greeting I didnt explain clearly, im sorry. There was a big staffy on my block who was really excitable and would jump up and nip, rip clothes and mouth anyone who stepped into his cage. It frightened a few of the younger volunteers who pressed their panic alarms as they couldnt control him. He was eventually pts.

Its weird that we have such different experiences of the same place. A big part of my training focused on the pts policy and we were told around a third of intakes are pts. I volunteered 4 years ago so cant imagine its changed that much.

Mommawoo · 07/08/2016 18:18

Apologies, Its Dogs Trust that never put a healthy dog down.

Mommawoo · 07/08/2016 18:21

Batterseas pts policy on their own webpage stating they DO pts for behavioral problems and suspected banned breeds. How can you not know this if you work there?
www.battersea.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do/our-intake-policy

nooka · 07/08/2016 18:24

ElsieMc the OP says that her dh walks the dog twice a day before and after he goes to work and plays with him in the evening so it's a bit unfair to say he leaves all the work to the OP. Plus they have a dog walker, and the dog stays with her mother one day a week. The OP says she doesn't have time to even give the dog an occasional cuddle, so what work is she putting in?

GinIsIn · 07/08/2016 19:21

Mamawoo - The law governs banned breeds being PTS, that's not a decision made by Battersea! In fact they are currently campaigning strongly to repeal the banned breads act.

A dog that has irretrievable aggression issues would be PTS, yes, but if the dog has such severe mental health problems it can't live a normal life then that's not exactly a healthy dog, is it? And that decision is only reached after extensive attempts at behavioural training.

Please, please think before you speak in future - what you said was very misleading and could influence people idiots like the OP to rehome irresponsibly by means like gumtree rather than through the channels most likely to ensure that the dog is cared for.

pelirocco123 · 07/08/2016 19:40

We used to have a lab who was food obsessed or rather obsessed with stealing food , he would pretend he wasn't hungry when we fed him lol.He would Steal food at any opportunity, quite often escaping the garden to do so.In one week he brought home 3 oven ready chickens, god knows where he got them .found a neighbours batam hen in the garden luckily alive if rather shocked. He also loved dirty nappies

I would second the posters who heed said look at the food he is given , but I don't agree with training with food treats, it's giving him the wrong message , train him with toys as a reward
Lovable as they are , Lab's are very hard work

PageStillNotFound404 · 07/08/2016 19:56

"Healthy" doesn't just mean in good physical health. Dogs can suffer from psychological problems and stress too, and if those issues can't be resolved to the point where the dog can be safely rehomed, it would be irresponsible of any reputable rescue NOT to PTS. But such a dog could hardly be described as "healthy".