Dog driving me mad, bot sure whether I'm being U want him rehired

[ginplease83]

I am very bloody cross. I gave my 22 month old a mini milk this afternoon and sat her on the sofa in our open plan kitchen watching tv whilst I did some food prep. She's in the same room and easily accessible. Our dog was in his bed the other side of the room.

I turned to put something in the fridge and she started screaming. I turned around and our labrador who is obsessed with food, has half jumped on the sofa and is taking her ice cream. I jump on the dog and remove him and reassure her. He knows that this was wrong as soon as he saw me noticing, he sprung up.

I don't think he can be trusted around our kids anymore and want him gone. My DH thinks Im over reacting and that i don't give the dog enough attention. He's walked very regularly but i don't have time to sit there and stroke him. Theres nowhere else for him to go in the house apart from a large kitchen and family room area. If I put him in the garden he rams himself into the fence to try and get to a neighbour's dog or he makes every attempt he can to get into our bins.

[GinIsIn]

Mommawoo - as a current Battersea volunteer I can safely say you are talking complete and utter bollocks. In 3 years there I have never, ever known them put a healthy animal to sleep.

[WaitrosePigeon]

How can she be talking bollocks if that is what happened during her time as a volunteer?

[RickOShay]

Ginplease, it sounds like the dog is the straw for you. Talk to your dh, but don't keep him if you don't love him. You have to love dogs to put up with their shit, bit like children really. My Labrador can be highly irritating but I love him so much I don't care.

[Greyhorses]

You have possibly the greediest breed in the world and left it unsupervised with an ice cream and wonder why it ate it

For what it's worth I have two huge dogs a and a baby and still manage to walk and play with the dogs during the day. They have kongs, toys and at least a few hours exersise. Having a baby is not an excuse to not walk a dog. Not wanting to walk it is a different story but don't say you can't because I don't believe thats true.

Rehome the dog for the dogs sake!

[IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain]

My bastard dog recently untrained herself because she was spoils rotten by my grandmother while we were on holiday. Prior to this she was trained to slink off to her basket as soon as food was around. The training involved a water pistol, I'm sure others will tell me I'm cruel but we quite enjoyed our evening meal taking occasional pot shots at naughty dog. I have always been really strict about food because I would worry about accidental consumption of something poisonous or if we dropped a jar of pasta sauce or something and she ate the glass.

[IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain]

Should add - also a Labrador . It is possible to train them around food. Although turns out very easy to 'untrained' them

[davos]

All this 'your dh needs to get a grip and is expecting too much' is bollocks quite frankly.

Unless the OP would be happy for him to quit work to be a sahp for the dog.

Sounds like the dh does plenty with the dog when he is there.

Or maybe swop and he be the sahp and she can go out to work. Which isn't practical in all families.

I am going to guess that the Ips mums dog is well behaved because she trained it. Consistently.

I have a puppy and two kids. I still take time to train the puppy. I had a two year old dog when Dd was born. I could still manage to get some training because they need mental stimulation as well as physical and it improves their behaviour.

It's really about what you want.

[davos]

Crap posted too soon.

If you want a well trained family dog, you need to put some time in, consistently.

If you can't be arsed, maybe he would be better being Rehomed.

I crate train the dog. But it's not used for punishment or shutting her away. It's used as a quiet safe space. Making it a negative thing won't help. Crate training can take a while as well, it's not just a dog cage to shut the dog away.

[NatureCreatesFreaks]

Did you fall in to that Andres trap? That Labrador puppies are sooooo cute and you must have one.... But then they grow up in to boisterous greedy fuckers who need lots of exercise otherwise they go massively overweight.
I always have an inward chuckle to myself when I see a family, esp ones with primary school aged children as they've obviously had their say, with a lab puppy. They think it's cute now!

Fwiw, I have a large sighthound. He was 2 when ds was born & 6 when dd was born. I've never not had time to walk him, play with him, stroke him.
He has occasionally stolen food from kids and from the grill and the counter (he's tall enough). But none of it is his fault. He's a dog!

Difference is, I love my dog

[MargotLovedTom]

Are all these posts saying "Well, I have eight Border Collies, nine children under five and only one leg, and I still manage to walk them for twenty miles twice a day!" going to help?

[nooka]

I'd be very surprised if the OP gets to rehome the dog as it sounds like her dh loves and cares for it, she said he walks it twice a day and gives lots of attention in the evening. It sounds like the biggest issue for the dog is that he is bored. Perhaps doggy day care is the answer as the OP seems to feel unable to give the dog any attention at all during the day.

[Catsick36]

I totally get where you are coming from my lab drives me insane with garden break outs, bin raids, food stealing. I pop toddler in a high high chair when he's eating. He is learning to turn away from the dog if he wants to keep something tho. I do separate them tho when foods around. Just to have 5 minutes peace eh!!

[DollyBarton]

I think fundamentally the OP doesn't want a dog and is not in the right frame of mind to own and care for one right now. Either a bit of encouragement to help her figure out why she is feeling so stressed by such normal dog behaviour and how to deal with it or advice on rehoming and what it entails shouldn't be so rare on the thread.

Mumsnet is a mean and unsupportive place these days. I'm seeing more kicking people when they're down responses to posts than ever before these days. Picking on points that can be used to beat prople with. It's quite depressing.

[orangebird69]

Margot because it's slightly more polite than saying 'you're just a lazy wanker using pathetic excuses not to interact with the dog'.

[davos]

Are all these posts saying "Well, I have eight Border Collies, nine children under five and only one leg, and I still manage to walk them for twenty miles twice a day!" going to help?

actually they might. They might make the Op realise that the dogs lack of training is down to the owners and wether the owners prioritise the training X

Dogs don't act how we want them to just because that's what we want. You have to work at it.

The dog isn't at fault here the OP and her dh are. Both need to do training with the dog. Consistently. Other people manage it, because they prioritise it.

You can always find time to do something you want or need to do.

[DollyBarton]

Maybe think about what the actual problem is and why you are getting so exasperated over little things. Do you feel affection and bond with the dog sometimes and only feel mad at ddog when you are busy with baby and stressed (trying to prepare food while baby cries and then suddenly the one thing you have baby to keep her quiet was the ice cream and ddog taking it was the straw that broke the camels back). Or do you feel like you just don't want a dog around at all times. Did you always feel like this or has something in your lives changed triggering different feelings about the dog. Overall you need to decide if your life and situation is the root of your feelings towards the dog or if it's simply having a dog that is the problem. If the former, maybe try to put in place some solutions to help you cope through this bad patch with ddog but if the later then rehoming ddog to somewhere she will be properly loved and integrated into a family is probably the way to go.

How much your DH loves and wants this dog is also a factor so once you've figured out your own feelings on this you need to talk to him either to negotiate the rehoming or to get him on board with the plan to help you feel less upset about the dogs presence. If keeping the dog, training is important but takes a lot of energy and motivation so could you do some classes with ddog alone both to bond a bit, focus on improving the situation without the distraction of your baby's needs and to get a break from the house which is where conflict with the ddog is happening?

I didn't read the whole thread, so may have missed some of OPs responses that answers the above points and questions but that would be my advice.

[Catsrus]

You have a lab. There is recent scientific evidence to show that some labs have a hunger gene that is hard wired to make them greedy. www.theguardian.com/science/2016/may/03/labradors-could-be-genetically-hard-wired-for-greed

The only other breed to have this gene is the Flatcoated retriever - I've had this breed for 30yrs and brought up 3 DC with them around.

If a child has food you make sure the dog cannot get to the child. Use a high chair or a play pen for the child and NEVER leave them in room alone together. You are simply expecting the impossible from the dog in the situation you outlined.

Personally I've never used crates - but have friends who swear by them.

Of course this isn't going to stop the problem of the child offering the dog a lick or bite of its food, the smarter of my dogs soon learned that taking a gentle nibble (rather than grabbing the lot) got you offered more food on a regular basis

[PageStillNotFound404]

OP.

At this stage you don't need a behaviourist, as the dog doesn't appear to be showing any abnormal behaviours (yet). But some general training classes would help. This will strengthen the bond between you and improve his general focus on and obedience to you, as well as giving him some much-needed mental stimulation. Classes that teach you how to clicker train would be ideal. Do not consider for one second anyone who talks about pack theory, dominance, pecking order or anything like that - these are debunked and actually quite dangerous theories.

Firstly, a quick one - check how much exercise he's actually getting. Just because you're paying a dog walker, doesn't mean he's getting the length and type of walk he needs.

Next, look at what you can do to improve the layout of your home so you're not setting him up to fail or putting your child in danger of being scared by his greed. The main responsibility is on you and your DH to actively supervise them together, but there are things you can do to make this easier, eg child gates so he can see you but not get to your daughter while she's eating. Keep bins and bags locked away/out of reach. A crate is a good idea but you MUST introduce it to him gradually - this is not going to be an immediate fix. Start by feeding him in the crate with the door open. Give him enjoyable experiences such as a stuffed Kong while in there. Do not, whatever you do, just start locking him in it. You'll only create more problems that are far harder to eradicate than greeding food.

The key things that will help you succeed are time, consistency, patience and a willingness to learn a little bit about dog behaviour and psychology. If you and your DH can't commit to that, then it would be sensible to consider rehoming, but if you get to that point please do it through a reputable breed-specific rescue. He sounds as though he will be a lovely family pet with just a little bit of time and effort on your part, and a great companion for your daughter to grow up with and learn all the valuable lessons that dogs can teach children, so it's worth persevering IMO.

[Clandestino]

Rehome him. He'd be better off with a decent owner.

[Mouseinahole]

It's a Labrador!
Their brains don't have an off switch where food is concerned. They are also very bright and very trainable, he could be your child's best friend. You will find it hard to stop him wanting food. We gave ours a big rawhide chew that they were only allowed at meal times. If we were having a snack they got a Kong with a couple of treats and they were never ever allowed in the kitchen!

[scarednoob]

Urgh. You made a commitment to that poor dog when you took him on. Now you want to get rid of him because you don't have time for him any more. I know children are really hard work - I have one - but you shouldn't have got the dog if you knew you hoped to have kids. Poor poor dog

[PageStillNotFound404]

Bashing the OP might make posters feel better but it's not going to help the dog.