To think a day out with a 3yr old is not fun, at all!

[NatureCreatesFreaks]

My dd is very nearly 3. We've been out for a walk & bike ride in the sun today. It has not been fun at all.
She wants to ride her bike, she wants to be carried, she doesn't want to be carried but doesn't want to ride her bike. she doesn't want to walk and just wants to stand there looking sad or whinging.

She doesn't want to get in her carseat, or out of her carseat. she takes her shoes and socks off just as we pull up to go for a walk, then doesn't want them back on. It takes about 20minutes to leave the car, then we only get 10 minutes down the road and she starts whinging.

I live in the Lake District, I have the mountains on my doorstep and some beautiful walks but I can't appreciate any of it because of my 3yr old.

I'd rather just go out on my own, or with my 7yr old. Who has been an absolute star all day and normally is. But I do remember going through this very stage with him and just everything we do being a chore, whether it was supposed to be a nice day out or a trip to supermarket.

I don't want to wish her life away but I really am fed up with the toddler/pre school stage now and can't wait for her to be around 5 or 6!

android my dh doesn't like ranting to let off steam either. He's pragmatic. Drives me mad!

bumsex She loves her balance bike and did ride it for a bit, but then decided that she didn't. Then she didn't know what she wanted and decided just to squeal instead in between wanting to be carried and wanting to be put down.

20 mins was probably an over exageration and didn't just include shoes, but getting out of carseat, then getting out of driver seat, then finding socks in the mess of my car!

DS turned 4 a couple of months ago & days out with him & 6yo DD are now really good fun & I am loving these summer holidays as I can plan what we do without having contingency plans for what we'll do if DS has a 20 min tantrum about something minor or refuses to walk or something silly; if we decide to spend longer doing something & it gets to lunch or tea time, we can just pop into a supermarket and grab some food; we don't need to do desperate dashes to the loo as he can hold his wees longer...and yet they still love my company, are quite happy with a trip to the park or walk through the woods (stealth stamina building going on there!), enjoy playing ridiculous games (today the spent at least 20 minutes pretending to be beef burgers, I have no idea why!)
So, no, YANBU

toffee I'd never go to NT unless I had a membership. The cost is ridiculous!

boa that sounds fun. I was out walking with a friend the other day who has a 7yr old & 4yr old. She was having a much better time than me!

Gosh I feel your pain OP. DD is nearly 4 and has been an utter pain all day (some days she is delightful; some days she wakes up and it's like she has been possessed by a small demon).

And what is it with 3 y olds and the whinging and whining?

All day long - ignoring me and DH. Taking stuff and putting it in random places. Running off. Cackling and running away when asked to do something perfectly reasonable (or NOT to do something dangerous or silly). Whinging and shrieking if not absolutely everything is to her liking ("I didn't want MUESLI I want TOAST....NOT WITH THAT JAM MUMMY, WITH THE OTHER JAM" ) Taking off of all clothes and climbing into a washing basket (three times). Taking socks off and either throwing them on the floor, or going about with them on her hands. Jiggling up and down on her chair and standing on it until she fell off twice despite DH's and my constant refrain of "Sit down with your bottom on the chair". Dropping fork and pasta on the floor despite being asked not to. Whinging and shrieking like a banshee whenever the Duplo fell over and the thing she was building collapsed.

This was not a good day. Please tell me they get easier

Some days she really is delightful, honest!

DS hasn't had his balance bike out for ages, because it's armbreakingly heavy, so I just can't face trying to carry him and it when he decides he doesn't want it any more.

He's 4 soon. Things seem to be getting easier, can do a tiny bit more w/o hitting meltdown territory. But I also don't have another child & a dog to keep happy!

Thanks for the Andrea Nair rec earlier Bertie!

Oh goodness this is a relief to read. I really don't like my 3yo at the moment. NOTHING makes him happy!

I've definitely found he prefers simpler activities, just for a morning, rarely do full day with him.

We are away in a holiday cottage at the moment, I thought the whinging would be less since it's s nice change of scenery and new things to occupy him. Nope. He's worse. I wish we had stayed at home. We've spent money on making life harder and more miserable for ourselves!

I am having this with 4:5 year old ds. We're on holiday in Italy and I wod rather be just me, dd 9 and dh, much more fun. Ds whining he wants to go out, once out whining because he wants To go back to the apartment. Whinging he wants pool, then out again. Whinging in the shop grrrrr

They're funny creatures aren't they!

We had a better day today on our bike ride as I took my bike and dd sat in her seat.
She's fab on her balance bike, but is no match for her ds on his pedal bike, which was half the problem I think as she hates not being in front! She's getting a pedal bike for her 3rd birthday next month, I can't wait!

Yes, three-year-olds are hard work. DD won't walk or cycle far before she wants to be carried or go in the pushchair if we have it. Then when she needs a wee or poo she often refuses to go until the last minute.

Oh the refusing to go to the toilet at the last minute drives me insane.

I also hate it when they both want to ride their bikes. DS (5) can be relied on to stop before crossing a road but DD shoots off and I have to sprint to catch up with her. Yesterday at the beach they had a huge argument about who was going to walk in front (just walking back from the rock pools to the beach tent to have a picnic) and they both ended up in tears.

hygellig I find myself shouting 'it's not a race!' constantly! Even my 7yr old says it!

I think for me at that age it was about reducing down the expectations and breaking it down.

So you have we'll scoot to this point then stop and have a drink.

Let's see who can get to the woods first. (that works less well with 2 dc)

If we climb down quickly the shop will still be open and we can get an ice cream.

So they see reward for doing it quickly and want to do it.
Once they start moaning it very quickly becomes no fun for anyone and then the least suggestion of doing it again reminds them that they hated it last time.

OP, I have the same age/gender difference with my DC. DS (7) is fairly civilised but DD (3) can be a horror.

We have to go with the lowest common denominator, in other words do things that DD can do. So it's beach, soft play, Playpark. Hopefully in a year or so it will be movies, bowling, meal out.

I can't be arsed with the toddler years 2nd time round. 1st time was bad enough.

Ah it's so depressing when you finally drag yourself out for a nice walk and some exercise and a toddler makes it a chore.

DD is typical for refusing to walk or wanting to go that way (especially with the childminder).

Having a box or bag and encouraging her to pick up nature has helped a little, could your 7yo cycle a little ahead and leave 'treasure' for her to collect (like egg hunt but could be anything)?