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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think a day out with a 3yr old is not fun, at all!

67 replies

NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 16:53

My dd is very nearly 3. We've been out for a walk & bike ride in the sun today. It has not been fun at all.
She wants to ride her bike, she wants to be carried, she doesn't want to be carried but doesn't want to ride her bike. she doesn't want to walk and just wants to stand there looking sad or whinging.

She doesn't want to get in her carseat, or out of her carseat. she takes her shoes and socks off just as we pull up to go for a walk, then doesn't want them back on. It takes about 20minutes to leave the car, then we only get 10 minutes down the road and she starts whinging.

I live in the Lake District, I have the mountains on my doorstep and some beautiful walks but I can't appreciate any of it because of my 3yr old.

I'd rather just go out on my own, or with my 7yr old. Who has been an absolute star all day and normally is. But I do remember going through this very stage with him and just everything we do being a chore, whether it was supposed to be a nice day out or a trip to supermarket.

I don't want to wish her life away but I really am fed up with the toddler/pre school stage now and can't wait for her to be around 5 or 6!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 06/08/2016 17:54

I have a 3.9yo and an 18mo.

I look forward to the days I work Shock

Seriously some most days are a fucking hard slog at the moment but I try to get the kids out of the house as much as possible.

It's not always been this hard so I hold onto the fact this time will pass.

Original poster
NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 17:57

bertie that tag teaming does help. Unfortunately my dh is away 6 months of the year due to work. (Split in to shorter chunks)

I have a few friends with similar aged children and when we get together for the day it does seem easier as the kids bounce off & encourage each other.

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 06/08/2016 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drinkingtea · 06/08/2016 17:59

Its bike rides and ling walks with 3 yos that aren't fun. My youngest started Kindergarten at 3 so he and I did some special days out just before hand while his siblings were at school - we went places on the off peak train (no more than 40 minutes) and never walked far from the destination station - actually one of our "days out" was to the central station - we live rurally and an escalator, a lift, and a bit of cake in a cafe were like a theme park to him :o Another day we went on a tram from the train to see deer in a park...

I've done carrying the bike on the back of my bike whilst balancing the 3 yo on the saddle and pushing and no, that is not fun but a trap I've walked straight into with each of my 3 yos in turn for some beyond stupid reason.

If you want a fun day out with a 3 yo you have to rethink what you do - not do things that suit a 7 yo and an adult. Usually of course its compromise - having more than one child can make days out very hard work as at those ages what suits one doesn't suit the other, and if both kids have a fun day out the parent may not due to all the paddling under the surface to make it work.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 06/08/2016 18:01

Can I tell you about a day out I had with my 2 at Easter?
We went to a local NT property with extensive grounds, usually quite child friendly. DH was working and my Mum decided to come along.
My 5 year old was ok most of the way round, only a few whinge patches which was quite good for him.
My 2 year old? Hell on legs.
He's behind with his speech and it really didn't help. He kept making a break for it outside and I was struggling to keep up with him before he destroyed plants or fell in a pond. Screaming ensued.
They had a series of temporary ball runs up which were good. My toddler kept trying to steal the balls and throw them away. I put him back in his buggy and he screamed and kicked.
We had lunch. He didn't want to be inside, he didn't want to sit in a high chair or on a proper chair. He didn't want to eat, he wanted to scream a lot. He didn't eat anything.
We went in the house to look around. I spent the whole time trying to stop him touching absolutely everything and pushing past the velvet ropes.
My Mum spent time with my eldest, but he was loudly commenting on how badly behaved his little brother was.
I nearly ended up in tears in one of the bedrooms as he'd found a crystal doorknob and was trying to swing from it. It took me ages to prize him off it, and an older couple walked past and told me not to worry as he was only playing.
With a bloody antique door knob.
All I got out of the day was a headache, lots of bruises and a twisted wrist.
My Mum suggested we go again in the summer holidays. I can't face it and he'll probably be even worse when he's three.
I do love them both but there are times....

MadamDeathstare · 06/08/2016 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drinkingtea · 06/08/2016 18:09

Stately homes with crystal door knobs are somewhere my mum would pick too Cigars - but totally and utterly unsuitable of course.

I think maybe some people are aiming too high on the days out Wink

Keep it really simple and set yourself up to suceed Smile

BertieBotts · 06/08/2016 18:12

Sorry if I gave a load of advice/tips when you just wanted to moan. Moan away! :)

I also enjoy the comic "Parenting illustrated with crappy pictures". It's not updated any more but it's great for summing up 3 year olds!

To think a day out with a 3yr old is not fun, at all!
drinkingtea · 06/08/2016 18:13

Short and simple too... whole days out will mean an overtired 3 yo unless part of it is a loooong car or guaranteed buggy nap.

3 hours is a "day out" with a 3 yo - an hour per year of age for under 7s assuming the activity is right, as a max, can really be fun - longer and it all goes to pot IME.

mygrandchildrenrock · 06/08/2016 18:15

We took 80 3 yr olds out for a school trip to a theme park aimed at little ones. They were all as good as good. Halo

sitting here very smug but of course they were not my own and that makes all the difference!

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 06/08/2016 18:23

BertieBotts that is so my 4yo

CigarsofthePharoahs · 06/08/2016 18:25

drinkingtea - its somewhere I have taken my eldest at the same age and he didn't wreak havoc. Didn't attempt to throw himself in a pond or swing from the fixtures! I naively thought that as there were two adults we'd cope but I really should have known better.
My 2 year old managed to cause merry hell on a trip to the beach recently too, running off like a bullet from a gun, trying to kick sand at everyone and everything and screaming again. I'd cope better but for the screaming.
He didn't like the sea. Too wet!

AndroidAddict · 06/08/2016 18:27

Thank you for the Flowers. Sorry for taking over your thread Nature but everyone's stories are helping me feel better about today's antics.
Dh is usually very helpful and supportive but he's the type of person who wants to solve things and find answers. Sometimes you don't want answers; you want to just let off steam and rant for a bit.
Cigars I remember getting told off as a child, I must have been about 6 or 7, for touching an antique vase on a table with a rope around and a big 'DO NOT TOUCH' sign. I made it wobble. I remember being taken outside and wondering what I'd done wrong!

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 06/08/2016 18:40

Whinese Grin

It does get easier from around age 6 and I really enjoy days out now

drinkingtea · 06/08/2016 18:40

Sorry Flowers

Playduh · 06/08/2016 18:43

YANBU - my 3yo is identical.

Just less than an hour to bed time. Then WineWineWine

bumsexatthebingo · 06/08/2016 18:46

Did she actually want to go? 20 minutes to get her to put her shoes on to get out of the car is ridiculous. Surely you would just say 'you need to put your shoes on if we're going for a bike ride' and if she said 'no' then tell her if she doesn't want to go on a bike ride then you will go home. I can't see what discussion was happening for 20 minutes?

Original poster
NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 19:06

chrunchy yes being out of the house makes life much more barable. I can handle whinging & tantrums alot more outside

OP posts:
Original poster
NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 19:07

Haha yes madam I tell my dd that I don't understand whinge.
She has a habit of squealing too, which is horrible! It'll be for the smallest thing too like ds picking up her toy!

OP posts:
Original poster
NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 19:12

I understand what you're saying drinking but we need to do things for 7yr old too and the best decision today would have been to put dd in bike seat. But I was also thinking about the dog today, I can't ride my bike with dd, keep control of dog & watch out for ds all at the same time.
Luckily we have lots of cool NT site near us with forest parks, so I try to accomodate both, but with a 4yr age gap it can be hard.
Dd wants to keep up and do what ds is doing but ds is obviously more advanced in everything compared to her so she strops and he gets frustrated & I get exhasberated!

OP posts:
Original poster
NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 19:15

That sounds awful cigars and familiar Confused.
I never go in to NT houses with dc, it's not worth the hassle and I always get told off by a volunteer! Usually beacuse they've touched something bit most recently it was because dd lay on the floor Confused
NT grounds are usually fab though. I find the less input I have to make the better. Today involved too much input from me I reckon

OP posts:
Original poster
NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 19:17

Yes madam & drinking I think if you plan too much or expect too much then it falls apart and you get frustrated as they don't appreciate it.
But a simple bike ride along a noce easy short path shouldn't be stressful!

OP posts:
toffeeboffin · 06/08/2016 19:19

This is the age of parks , picnics and balls. Preferably close to home.

No point in driving miles, taking to see something special, museums etc etc they just need to burn off energy.

Original poster
NatureCreatesFreaks · 06/08/2016 19:19

That's me bertiebots! Althougj I never go anywhere without dd's sling, even at nearly 3!
I like the time for gin blog Wink

OP posts:
toffeeboffin · 06/08/2016 19:21

Yes, NT places are great - but £17 to get in, they won't last all day, and they'll cause chaos as Nature explained above? Not worth it.

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