To think that she's cheating?

[FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose]

She's out all night.

Sometimes she comes home for dinner, sometimes not. She turns her nose up at the food on offer.

She is rude to visitors and completely ignored the friendly amazon delivery man.

She often smells of someone else's perfume.

She's 'misplaced' her collar.

She used to be so affectionate.

This new attitude of hers all started after we took her to the vet last week.

She's cheating on us with another family, isn't she?

Perhaps they offer posher nosh than you do?

She's just exploring her other options and daring you to take her to the vet again!

If it's anything to do with the vet then she's just sulking - and trying to teach you a lesson!

You took her to the vet? Clearly she has decided to ltb..

Better than ocean feast steaky things? Surely not? I'm going to have to crack open a tin of actual tuna if this carries on.

Meanwhile, our other dopey old moggy gorges happily on whatever was on special offer and spreadeagles on our laps till bedtime.

She is so high maintenance.

YANBU. Probably more than one, TBH.

Has she been on your computer? Access to catsnet? Maybe she's been reading up on the script...

How old is she, OP? Could be teenage hormones, PMT or unfortunate effects of menopause. Perhaps you could treat her to a spa day and have a heart-to-heart?

All you can do is grovel. Then grovel some more. She'll deign to talk to you when she thinks you've learned your lesson.

Can of tuna? You're having a laugh, surely. I think you meant to type fresh salmon steaks.

That's it! Puberty! She's 5, so that must be teenage in cat years.

I never considered this as we had her done as a kitten, but perhaps there are some residual angsty hormones

Oh god, she's going to the cattery in a few weeks! I'll have to buy her a fillet steak .

Yesterday she was deliberately sick on the patio and the other one ate it. She watched him disdainfully from behind my unsuccessful and fairly dead butternut squash plant.

I don't really know why we have cats.

If she has others willing to eat her vomit, it's no wonder she queens it a bit over the rest of you ordinary people [winks]

True, very true. Maybe tough love is the answer!

On the plus side, since the sulk began she hasn't brought us a single present, alive or dead.

The other one would love to bring us presents, but he doesn't know how to hunt thank god.

I think, even without knowing you, that your cat would win the battle of wills if you employed tough love. Not because I think you are weak, you understand, but because I know what cats are capable of. They'll stop at nothing!

buy a dog, much more loyal..

Have you called 101 to log her behaviour?

I don't really know why we have cats

You don't. Cats have slaves. :)

Not yet, but I could threaten it and see what she says. I suspect she might secretly control the local police force though, just as she controls the rest of the neighbourhood.

It's true that I probably would lose in a battle of wills. She has nerves of steel.

One of my favourite episodes of the Simpsons is when their cat is cheating with another family.

'The cattery'? Oh boy - are you in trouble , or what?!

She's in her mid 30's in human years if she is 5 :)

Ah, she's so pretty.

Is that a flea collar?

Optimist, a spa day?!! Having visions of cats wearing bathrobes and turbans with cucumber on their eyes sitting around drinking lattes! I distinctly remember my girls being unappreciative of a to a grooming parlour to tidy them up!