AIBU to expect DH to support us?

[lkm055]

My DH is self employed and works from home and has done since 2009. His business peaked about 2 years ago but since the birth of our 2 DC, the business has declined. He earns approx £500 pcm. I am employed pt and the main breadwinner.
I am off on maternity leave so money is very very tight. I have asked him to get a job to supplement our income which he says he doesn't want to do but will if necessary. I think it's hugely necessary, both to pay out bills and to force him into understanding that he has responsibilities and should be working harder. If he worked more efficiently etc, his business could make 10x what it does as he is very good at what he does.
He is an excellent father, and spends time with the DC but isn't needed for childcare at all just now and won't be when I return to work.
We are surviving on savings (money gifted by family, although they don't expect us to be living off it) but this won't last for long. The business has a few £k in debt which also needs paid.

I love him dearly, but resentment is building now.
AIBU to expect the bills to be paid rather than ignored?

[MammouthTask]

And btw, if being the bread winner in the house with no sharing the responsibility doesn't work for you then you need to say so and he HAS to pull up his socks.
I would say the same if it was the other way around.

[StealthPolarBear]

Something has to give. But I can't tell if the op would be happier if her dh was a proper sahd (if he could do it properly)

[NoahVale]

i dont think she wants her DH to be a SAHD , her parents do the childcare for free I think

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"If he worked more efficiently etc, his business could make 10x what it does as he is very good at what he does."
OP, what precisely could he do differently? Actively seek new clients, bill his clients more quickly, work longer hours to complete work more quickly - exactly what changes does he have to make?

And if his business could make 10x more then (so presumably £5k per month) would taking on staff to ensure those changes happen e.g. by doing all the admin/billing/client contact - would that work?

[junebirthdaygirl]

Some people are not made for running their own business but would make excellent workers. Its a different skills set. He sounds like he has a lot to offer to someone who is netter at organising the stuff around gathering money in, budgeting, finding clients etc. I don't agree that being disorganised means being lazy. It can but it could also mean just actually not having those skills. Getting a job sounds best. He needs to wake up.

[RubbleBubble00]

This is why iv vetoed idea of dh setting up a business. He would make it work but I'd be stuck doing all the paperwork, tax, bills and general organisation.

Id say he had to get a pt job and give him 6 months to turn business around - business plan ect. If he can't do that he folds it up and gets ft job

[turnaroundbrighteyes]

Was thinking the same as whereyouleftit or would you have the capacity to work a day a week in the business? Assuming you'd want to and he would want you to. An extra £4500 a month for your family by you generating bookings and him using his skill set to fulfill them or whatever he needs to get to the next level sounds good?