To be furious with friend for this FB post **Trigger warning - upsetting content. Edited by MNHQ**

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

In an absolute state after scrolling down my FB feed and a (male if it matters) friend has shared a post of a miscarried fetus at 11 weeks as an anti-abortion argument

I lost two children in a row and still struggle with the grief as they were wanted and planned for and loved instantly.

I reported the post and blocked the feed but still feel like he should have some bloody respect for those who have suffered. The woman who's baby it was is the original poster and she allowed the image to be used to prove that "11 week olds are fully formed babies with toes, etc" and her "baby isn't here because they were sent on a higher mission to stop abortion" also "why can't they just give them up for adoption there's loads of families who will adopt them", "no need to be a murderer" (that's what it says on the post I'm a bit flabbergasted at their ignorance of the current state of adoptions).

Although I'd never have an abortion I'm 100% pro choice, but upset that I didn't get the choice whether or not to see this extremely distressing image. I'm also concerned about any vulnerable women on his friends list who may have had an abortion being seriously affected by this post.

AIBU if I tell him he's being disrespectful or should I get a grip because you can post whatever you like on your own FB. (If I had any inkling he'd post something like this I'd have blocked weeks ago).

I know you can't control what you see online but you don't expect that while casually scrolling through what your friends are up to

Vixyboo I'm so sorry, what a terrible ordeal for you both.

Thank you xx

I just didn't understand when I was writing it that quoting someone else even though I thought what they were saying was wrong, would be hurtful. But obviously that's my fault and not anyone else's.

I'm so 'matter of fact' in my head it was like quoting something really evil and saying how evil it was and so I should do something about it or just leave it be. But I've got mixed up because I always get flamed for drip feeding and in my head I had swarms of posts saying "well did the article say anything bad or are you overreacting, etc" so I made the wrong decision to include it. Usually when something is a bad subject for me I hide the thread after seeing the first inkling of it so i hadn't considered others would read on

Obviously I'm not good for MN there's just too many things I don't get right. I really am sorry I've upset you. I hope it gets deleted soon

Op if it helps,i get where you are coming from. When you said you would never had one you only considered unwanted pregnancy/slip up and not the other reasons like rape,serious medical conditions,etc . And you probably really wouldn't after the heartbreak you've been through trying for a baby. It was badly thought and written,and maybe a bit narrow minded( prompted i assume by the fb post which you say only referred to "abortion as contraception" shite).

P.s. I say this as someone who is 100% pro choice,had an abortion years ago and is so terrified of being pregnant again that would have another one.

Op I commend you for staying on the thread and responding to people's comments. Many people would have legged it a long time ago!

I think it's time for bed!

Xx

OP, it's just a subject matter which is extremely sensitive for many women, yourself included. I'd love to meet the twat who casually posted this on FB (probably for attention) and 'have a chat' with him.

Tell him when he can get pregnant and carry a baby then he can choose not to have a termination.

And then block the fucker. What a fool.

op I've been on here on and off for years and have had more flamings than hot dinners.

It takes a while to get into it, but you'll get there.

Sorry you are so upset, hopefully MNHQ will be along soon to sort it out.

I don't think men should have an opinion on termination of pregnancy. This is a women issue.

Until a man can carry and birth a child they can fuck off to Timbuktu with this anti abortion shit.

Snap Vixyboo

' There but for the grace of God go i' is what I'd say to the extremists. Don't judge as you don't know what you'd do if you are faced with difficult choices.

I terminated for a fatal foetal abnormality also. Heartbreaking and worst was I'm Irish and it is totally illegal so I had to arrange flights, cover costs, travel to unknown place and was generally made feel like a criminal in my country.

Can't stand these images been shown on FB- so insensitive

to all those who have suffered losses, whatever the circumstances.

I have blocked people for it before. I had a termination I didn't want
And it all seems to be "don't terminate" but none of them were there offering support, or childcare or financial help, they couldn't help me with that. All they could say is termination is wrong - which obviously really helped practically(!)
I was and am heartbroken over it and I don't need it on my newsfeed

I could never be friends with pro-lifers (or rather, anti-abortioners) for this very reason. Some of them will just forego any sensitivity or thought when it comes to getting their point across. All you can do now is delete, block, and chop them out of your life.

Have reported the OP as needing a trigger warning.

Blondienut can you message me please?