AIBU not to let my 9yo DD1 have a mobile phone

[BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy]

My 9yo DD1 has been nagging me for a mobile phone for months. It started because her best friend was given one by her dad so that he could contact her without having to go through her mum (messy divorce/access battle). Anyway, I've told DD1 she is too young & she can have one when she starts high school in 2 years (which went down well ).

Just before the end of term, however, a police officer came into to DDs school to discuss Internet safety and asked DDs year group how many of them had their own mobile phones. Apparently, the vast majority of them put their hands up which further inflamed my DDs sense of injustice.

So - AIBU to day no to a mobile phone for a 9yo or is that just the age they get them nowadays? Happy to be told I'm just an old fuddy duddy

[BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy]

DD1 has only just turned 9 (summer birthday) and although she does technically walk to school by herself a) in reality that consists of walking around the corner to the bus stop to catch the school bus (literally 1 minute walk away) and b) I'm always 2 minutes behind her with DD2 who is too young to walk by herself. The only time she walks home by herself is if DD2 is in an after school club and as the bus drives pass my house i know she'll be home 2-5 mins after that (depending how long she stays to chat with friends).

She does go out to play but she's never more than a couple of streets away (her bff lives a couple of streets away so they're always either in our street or hers) and I can always text/phone the bffs mum if I need her home before her curfew. Also, they are usually out on the bikes and as girls clothes are usually woefully ill equipped with decent pockets I don't think she'd want to take a phone with her anyway.

I certainly don't think she needs one and tbh I think the only reason she wants one is because her bff has (a quite expensive) one and shows off about it all the time

I think I'll stick with my original plan and get her one for her 11th birthday ready for secondary school

[SaucyJack]

We got DD1 a phone shortly after she started walking herself home from school in Year 6.

It's great. It's just an extra bit reassurance. For me- not her obviously. Just means if she's late home I can send her a quick text to see if she's chatting in the park instead of frantically pacing around picturing her dead under the wheels of a car.

[redskytonight]

Lots of 9 year olds have them here too due to that being the age that they are allowed to walk to school without an adult/ play out more on their own etc. And they don't all hand them in at school so that's not a guide.

It doesn't have to be a super dooper one. We've bought DD a 99p one which basically allows her to phone and text. It means she's got used to understanding how credit works, having to keep the phone with her if out, and having to keep it charged up. Which are all good skills to learn before she gets a more expensive phone when she's older.

[adrianabelshaw]

You are absolutely NOT unreasonable! If you're going to buy her a phone before the age of like 13, here's what I recommend.

[honeylulu]

My son had his first phone at 10 (year 6) when he started doing some short journeys by himself ie walking to school/scout hut etc. Before then he was always in the company of a parent or another supervisory adult and I just didn't think he needed one. Most of his friends did seem to have them earlier though.

[Chopstick17]

YANBU The longer you can string it out the better, it all goes down hill after getting a mobile! Sad but true.I would try to wait until secondary school.

[MrsJayy]

Some might have a phone some not its up to you when she gets her phone both mine got phones the christmas before high school that seemed reasonable to me

[PurpleTraitor]

My 9yo walks to and from school independently and plays out, goes out by themselves, runs errands etc, I had been wondering about a phone but decided for now it's not needed.

I'd be more surprised by a 9yo who never went out on their own than a 9yo with a phone, having said that my 9yo has never asked for one, mentioned it, nor seems aware of the idea, so none of the kids at school have one.