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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

crying babies on buses

112 replies

RosieWithTheGoodHair · 04/08/2016 19:37

I know IABU but I HATE it. I dislike buses at the best of times but it drives me mad to be basically stuck in a small space with a crying child

OP posts:
Lweji · 04/08/2016 23:10

How did you really expect this to go?

And no sense of humour to go with it either.

Original poster
RosieWithTheGoodHair · 04/08/2016 23:15

I absolutely have a sense of humour, thanks

OP posts:
ShyOyster · 04/08/2016 23:17

Ha ha
Why "thank fuck you're never on my bus?"
I'll tell you why: because having to commute with a child is stressful enough. Sometimes I'm tired before I even get to work. I feel absolutely terrible when DS misbehaves. I am embarrassed and really try to keep him entertained whenever I can. But when he was a baby, most of the time I was absolutely helpless.
So I am glad you're not on my bus because I don't need people to judge me. I am hard enough on myself.
I'll take the grip though. Thanks. I like to keep a spare one for judgy twats.

Brightnorthernlights · 04/08/2016 23:22

Maybe your hair wouldn't look so good if you were sat with a crying baby on a bus, aware that all around you people were pissed off or annoyed, yet whatever you tried, you just couldn't calm your baby? You might become RosieWithTheFrazzledHair?

Original poster
RosieWithTheGoodHair · 04/08/2016 23:24

At what point have I said anything judgey or anything about anyone's parenting?

Quote me Wink

OP posts:
ShyOyster · 04/08/2016 23:32

I won't. The issue with threads like that is that you touch on a subject that is clearly very sensitive to people. Whether it is intended or not, it always comes out twattish and ignorant.
Have you got kids? If so, how would you feel if someone said they hate your baby crying on the bus. Surely they don't blame the baby, whose responsibility is it then? Let me think...

Tiredbutfuckingfine · 04/08/2016 23:36

I love a crying bus baby. I take it as a personal challenge to try and catch their eye and distract them by smiling/waving. Then they stop crying nine times out of ten.

maras2 · 04/08/2016 23:37

Annoying is someone who selfies her arse and posts it on a parenting website not a grizzly baby.Biscuit

Sweetandsour93 · 04/08/2016 23:46

If the parent was just leaving the kid to cry and not trying to soothe it then YANBU. It's horrible when you're on a long bus ride and a baby is screeching and the mum just ignores it. Sometimes it's clear that a child is very distressed and crying constantly and I've seen parents just messing with their phones and ignoring them. If your baby is screaming at full volume in a confined public space and you don't try to calm him/her down then I think YABU. Of course all babies cry but all too often I see them being ignored by a parent.

CoolioAndTheGang · 04/08/2016 23:46

At least you can get off the bus and the crying is gone, it's not so easy when you are the parent, and your baby is inconsolable Sad

ghostspirit · 04/08/2016 23:59

i have had looks and comments when my baby has cried on buses and in supermarkets. if it happens in a super market i stand near them in the cue. just to piss them off.

nicolasixx · 05/08/2016 00:20

Is that you, Donald?

Lweji · 05/08/2016 01:35
Grin
LucyBabs · 05/08/2016 01:46

tiredbutfuckingfine
I'll lend you my four year old.. good luck Grin

TallulahTheTiger · 05/08/2016 01:52

The sentiment is already there OP from PP but ODFOD! A few weeks ago when I was still in hormonal, constantly crying stage this would have had me paranoid and yes I did get off bus early with my screeching colicky baby due to anxiety but now I am aware that there are times my baby will cry no matter what I do! If you knew you are BU why post about such a goady subject that may cause paranoia in someone already going through a shit, anxious time??

WanderingNotLost · 05/08/2016 01:53

Nothing an iPod and a good pair of earphones can't fix- HTH

LauderSyme · 05/08/2016 02:01

Agree with Sweetandsour, babies crying anywhere is awful when the responsible adult does nothing to try to comfort it. The crying noise triggers my anxiety badly anyway, but it's a million times more stressful when the parent or caregiver just ignores it. I am a terrible judgey pants towards those parents but always kind and sympathetic to all the others. I've been that mum and it's horrible.
A baby's cry is designed by evolution to make us take notice and want to take action to make it stop. I think I've read that they cry at a particular pitch and frequency that adults find intolerable.
So no, op, yan necessarily bu to hate it, but yabvu to post a thread about it on mumsnet and then get arsey when people respond.

Owlytellsmesecrets · 05/08/2016 03:01

GrinGrinGrin We are taking our severely autistic and disabled DS7 on the Eurostar soon GrinGrinGrin

He only function 18-24 mths and OMFG he is loud.

Anyone going to France in September.... Ear defenders !!

Ha ha .... You can't even get off ... Ba ha ha

PS op you are a knob!

mathanxiety · 05/08/2016 05:22

Last time I was on a bus a couple in their 40s who were off their heads had a rip roaring fight when he said he was breaking up with her. The entire bus had endured loud low level bickering for the first five stops, followed by the fight proper, which included her throwing a bag containing a cheeseburger and fries at him as he moved to the door, the better to wind her up. Then he started to cry, and she did too. The driver just kept on driving. The couple kept on roaring at each other through their tears. There were fries and lots of lettuce all over the floor.

Wasn't as bad as the night I was coming home from university on the last and very crowded bus and a lad in the seat behind mine started puking his guts up. It went on for miles.

abbinobb · 05/08/2016 05:39

I remember the first time ds decided to have a full on crying fit in public, I wasn't expecting it after the sleepy first few weeks baby thing where they sleep in the pram as long as it's moving.
Awful. Stressful and embarrassing because everyone looks at you. I didn't know wtf to do because I was in a shop queueing to buy some ready made formula so I couldn't just leave. Then went to McDonald's to get a coffee so i could feed him and the screaming and staring continued, a man tutted at me Hmm but what could I do? I had to feed him somewhere or he'd never stop. It's awkward because you know it's annoying but babies obviously don't care so what can you do?

I don't mind the sound of crying babies at all, I just think "oh good its someone else's child I don't have to deal with it this time"Blush

honkinghaddock · 05/08/2016 05:49

Ds reacts badly to baby crying - shrieks a bit and then hits and bites himself. The baby crying can't be helped but what is annoying is the pulled faces and tutts thrown in our direction (usually by others not the baby's parents) because ds cannot help his reaction to it.

VashtaNerada · 05/08/2016 06:01

If the parent was just leaving the kid to cry and not trying to soothe it then YANBU When DD was newborn going to meet with other mums really helped me. The meetings were timed so DD was due a nap on the way home and would cry for a bit before sleeping. The only way I could help her was to look the other way and not give her any stimulation whatsoever so she could fall asleep in her buggy. The trouble was that sometimes I had people glaring at me and ended up picking her up or talking to her even though I knew that would prolong the crying!

sportinguista · 05/08/2016 06:06

To be honest, I can zone out crying babies quite easily. Now rowdy teens not at all! You are being unreasonable, babies cry, sometimes it isn't easy to stop them, even with cuddles etc. You are in the bus for only a short while, it's not the end of the world...

SarfEast1cated · 05/08/2016 06:16

I found out yesterday that a sensitivity to noise can be a side-effect of low oestrogen - I am not an expert on the subject obv - but know that there are times when noise doesn't affect me, and times when I find myself with my hands over my ears feeling rageous...

HeyRobot · 05/08/2016 06:20

Until I had dd I listened to music on public transport. Podcasts are also available. I don't understand why people sit there getting annoyed by people's noise when theyncan just listen to something else.

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