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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my kids aren't too noisy in the garden?

56 replies

Mumtogremlins · 04/08/2016 18:21

To put it in context, I have 4 children, all under 12 and it's the summer holidays so they've been playing in the garden together for about 30 mins every day, although not every day. They tend to play made up games which involves a bit of noise and I'm always telling them to keep it down.

Just had a woman round from a house that backs on to our garden complaining about the noise. She said she's lived there for 30 years and never heard noise like it. I said there are 4 of them and they are playing but I would try and get them to keep the noise down. She huffed and walked away. What does she want me to do? Keep them in all day? Am I being unreasonable that they can't make a bit of noise in my garden for a short time? How noisy are your kids? Feeling stressed about living here now, only been here since last year

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 04/08/2016 18:54

RichardBucket (is that the polite way of saying Penisbeaker? Wink)
the thump, thump of a ball...

My neighbour knocked round to complain about my sons bouncing their basket ball in the garden as she hated the noise. Unfortunately, the ball went over the fence into her garden and she's confiscated it Sad.

amusedbush · 04/08/2016 18:59

It depends what kind of noise. I live in a flat and there are no gardens so all of the local kids (aged 5 - 10, I'd guess?) are out alllll day and they only seem to be able to communicate by screeching like banshees Angry I was off work last week and they screamed from about 8am to 10pm, some nights.

If it was normal play noises for a reasonable length of time then YANBU. If they were screaming like they were being tortured then I'm on your neighbour's side!

RichardBucket · 04/08/2016 18:59

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Ha, no. Hyacinth Bucket's husband from Keeping Up Appearances. Smile I'm not surprised at your neighbour... the ball thumping gets to me so much it causes an actual stress pain in my stomach. It's an awful sound.

amusedbush · 04/08/2016 19:00

*are out in the street in front of the flats all day, that should read.

maddiemookins16mum · 04/08/2016 19:00

None of us can really comment to be fair (unless we lived at the bottom of your garden) and with four boys you'll be used to their "noise". I like seeing and hearing kids in their gardens but is it really just half an hour (mine would be out all day if I could get away with it)??
It's about compromise though, try seeing it from her view, she may have an illness too or a sick husband, there's often two sides to the story and maybe today wasn't the best day for her and your lively boys were the last straw.

Missgraeme · 04/08/2016 19:01

I have stood with our neighbour. She reported us to landlord for fictitious things - then admitted it was because she was jealous as she couldn't have kids. She was really resentful and caused us a year of hell.

LilacInn · 04/08/2016 19:02

Just tell them not to screech. The idea that they can make as much noise as they like in their own garden is incredibly selfish when you live in close proximity to others.

^^ This.

It's one thing for kids to be calling to one another "Your turn with the ball!" "Throw it here!" "Bet you can't catch me!" "I'm a dragon and I will eat you!" etc. In other words, if they are calling out to communicate with one another constructively during a game or imaginative play.

Mindless, pointless screeching and screaming is unacceptable, I don't care how old they are. Last weekend at our cottage the twin girl neighbors, four years old, were running around in circles screaming as loud as they could for no reason whatsoever. I was gardening nearby and the high-pitched squeals were excruciating. Finally, seeing the appalled stares of the neighbours on three sides, their mother stopped them and pulled them into another activity.

We sure as hell were not allowed to scream for no reason and nor was their mother, whom I have known since she was born. ("Don't EVER scream unless something is really wrong," was the admonishment back in the day. "Be considerate of others!")

But for some reason "kids these days" as the expression goes are prone to just opening their mouths and emitting loud sounds heedless of whoever is around or may be disturbed. I will never understand it.

If that is what your kids are doing, OP, then they are in the wrong and the woman has grounds for complaint.

amusedbush · 04/08/2016 19:02

They don't really scream as they are mostly boys

Tell that to my neighbour's little boy who seems incapable of playing any game without screaming like he's on fire Angry

Mycatsabastard · 04/08/2016 19:03

Oh tell her to feck off.

I have a summer play scheme being run at the sports centre over the back of our garden. I get to listen to Mr Athlete shouting at the kids all day and the kids screaming and shouting all day. It's the summer holidays. It's normal.

At no point have I thought, oh I know! I'll go and complain about kids making noise.

dodobookends · 04/08/2016 19:08

We currently have several small boys who play loudly in the garden next door for several hours a day. I don't mind at all, because at least it drowns out the incessant yapping from the dogs the other side.

Pipistrelle40 · 04/08/2016 19:11

My neighbours have 'screamers' in their garden from dawn to dusk. I have had a belly full of them and their parents who char flesh on their barbie every evening. I have a large pile of old tyres I plan burning very soon on an ongoing bonfire together with some shit their cat left in my garden.Oh and all the footballs that have been kicked over.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 04/08/2016 19:12

If you go in your own garden and scream, it really is quite fun and exhilarating and a great way to let off steam and that's why children do it. Maybe you could limit them to one scream each?

Other than that, the sound of children laughing and playing is quite a pleasant noise.

RichardBucket · 04/08/2016 19:14

In about a week's time, a new AIBU is posted...

AIBU to call social services? Every day at about 10:30am the neighbour and her kids go into their garden and scream at the top of the lungs, then she hushes them and I don't hear anymore. I'm really worried about what's going on in that house.

Original poster
Mumtogremlins · 04/08/2016 19:15

I'm always nagging them to go out to burn off some energy, if they had their way, they'd be on the Xbox all day. So they're really not out that long.

I've put up with neighbours noise before so I know how annoying it is. And my kids can be annoying ;)

OP posts:
Pipistrelle40 · 04/08/2016 19:16

ILostIt, good idea. Will go out and let rip tomorrow.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 04/08/2016 19:24

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em Grin

CharlieSierra · 04/08/2016 19:24

I think normal children playing noise is fine but I did once have a family next door whose 4 boys did literally screech and scream all day, every day throughout the school holidays and it was terrible. I was completely unable to enjoy my own garden when they were at home. They also used to climb to the top of their climbing frame and do it so we had the added pleasure of a full view of them too. Never once heard them shushed.

LilacInn · 04/08/2016 19:36

My current neighbours are very quiet - they don't even use a power mower - and to my horror their house is up for sale. I've had two summers of being able to enjoy my garden in peace each evening after work and now live in dread that noisy screamers will be back there day after day this fall and next spring/summer.

It's more than "just a little noise," the continual screaming and hollering is very stressful on others and deprives them of the enjoyment of their own areas. If kids need to scream (which I dispute is a 'need' btw) let them stand in their bathtub with the windows shut and do it indoors.

honkinghaddock · 04/08/2016 19:43

It is all about compromise. Ds although noisy at times himself, can't cope with other children's ordinary playing noise. So ds has 30 minutes in the garden, then next doors grandkids might be out for 30 mins and then there will be times when there are no kids out.

Bluewombler2k · 04/08/2016 19:44

It's nice to hear children playing, my son plays in the garden but warned not to shout. It's the 11yo boy in the garden next door but one who has fine-tuned his primal scream to blackboard scraping intensity that drives me nuts - especially as his 3 year old brother has now started copying. I did knock on their door at 9.45pm the other night to ask them to get him to stop the infernal hell noises but either they didn't understand me or didn't give a toss. Now they have also taken to barking like dogs, which is nice. DS tried to copy them the other day but stopped once he saw my eye starting to twitch. Very perceptive that boy.

Pteranodon · 04/08/2016 19:48

Children used to be allowed much more freedom to roam. If they used to scream less, maybe that's because they had more freedom? Or maybe they used to make a noise further away from their parents and neighbours.

Bluewombler2k · 04/08/2016 19:50

He's like the lead singer from Sepultura. Is it called 'gutteral' something? Death metal stylee. Pteranodon that wasn't in reply to you btw!

Thisisnotausername · 04/08/2016 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wasonthelist · 04/08/2016 19:53

Wish you lived near me. No kids round here just some bastards with bastarding power tools, lawn mowers, chainsaws, petrol strimmers and the old codger who has a shed right down the end of his garden ( so near mine) who plays with power tools all day in there and has smooth fm blasting out. Would prefer the sound of kids having fun any day.

Floggingmolly · 04/08/2016 19:56

Then you're a bit of a gobshite really, Thisisnotausername. Why is that funny? Are you 6?