to think 14 yo's are capable of opening a tin of beans?

[GladRagsandHandbags]

DSD is with us for some of the summer hols.

DH asked her to help make a fry up breakfast at the weekend.
He gave her a ring pull tin of beans but she didn't know how to open it and nearly sliced her hand up when DH explained how to do it.

Are most 14 yo's like this?
I was like

I had a great sideline in drinks reimbursement - by way of payment - as I was the only one in my first year block of flats at Uni, that knew how to separate washloads and use a washing machine...

Definitely spend some time teaching her how to wash, iron, basic cooking, fuse boxes, changing a plug, basic housework and DIY.

She's 12 not 21 and maybe it hurts her fingers to pull on one of those rings. Maybe she has additional needs that haven't been identified. Either way, everyone matures and develops at different times, so perhaps a less judgemental attitude and a more understanding, supportive approach is needed.

Sorry, I mean 14 not 12.

Being gifted and talented doesn't mean you can't have AN...does she struggle with other physical things?

I would think that like a pp said, she'd never had to open a ring pull, perhaps because they don't have them at her mother's house. I rarely use tins and most of the time the tins we have need a tin opener. I reckon if she was deemed clumsy, or protected from doing household things then she wouldn't have been helping with breakfast in the first place. (To be honest though, my initial reaction was wtf, until I considered my vegetarian adult sister would not have a clue how to open a tin of corned beef!)

I have a 4yo who has helped in the kitchen since being a small toddler - we just pick jobs that are suitable for him. He weighs things out, puts stuff in pans, seasons etc. He can safely cut herbs from the plants, make scrambled eggs in the microwave, make sandwiches, feeds the food processor / operates the kenwood. He can make a cake with direction, clean and prep vegetables, peel veggies and use a knife with my help. We tend to prep stuff and then he stands near me and passes me stuff for the pan. He can also make his bed, do the dishwasher and operate the washing machine and tumble dryer if I shout out what settings we need. This is what my parents showed me, and I'm doing the same with him. It helps that he's interested though and he tends to be quite a focussed and dare I say it, sensible child. My other child is like a Tasmanian devil and I can't see him being allowed to use a knife as young as his brother was. That said he can use a dustpan, clean spills and help unload the machines, so he won't be getting out of helping as he gets older!

My left handed 14yo DS can (drum roll) open a tin with a right handed can opener as well as a ring pull.

It is difficult to do without that tiny spray of tomato juice landing somewhere.

My brother at the age of 27 asked me how to use a vegetable peeler, a few months later I had the same question from my partner who was also in his mid 20's I was very and had to ask if they were joking. Sadly they were not and I had to demonstrate.

My nine year old autistic ds can open ring pull cans of tomato soup, decant to bowl then microwave until ready. He also makes his own sandwiches, is responsible for putting dessert out, helps my dh prepare/ chop veg for bolognese/ etc. But then he has been home schooled for the last year, my dh spends a large part of teaching time helping ds develop life skills. So he is learning to use tools in all aspects of his life. Part of the reason we decided to home educate, was that we were concerned at the lack of life skills being taught in school. Be they social, emotional, physical or a combination of all three. It became apparent that if we didn't start teaching our son these life skills, he would leave school with high grades but unable to function in the real world.

I would ask your SD what she would like to learn to do first, then spend time teaching her how to prepare a variety of home cooked meals. Growing up I would help my Mum with cooking, however in today's fast world many teens aren't exposed to this kind of domesticity. Convenience food/ ready meals have become the norm. We prepare all of our meals freshly, mostly due to our dd having coeliac which forced us to rethink our lifestyles. Home economics is on the way out in schools now, so its up to parents to teach kids the basics......