to think 14 yo's are capable of opening a tin of beans?

[GladRagsandHandbags]

DSD is with us for some of the summer hols.

DH asked her to help make a fry up breakfast at the weekend.
He gave her a ring pull tin of beans but she didn't know how to open it and nearly sliced her hand up when DH explained how to do it.

Are most 14 yo's like this?
I was like

My almost 13 year old (almost 14) struggles with them, as do I and I am 37. There are a lot of practical things we both struggle with, neither of us is lacking intelligence but I have dyspraxia (actually wasn't) diagnosed until I went to uni at almost 30) and she is being assessed shortly . My daughter is academically brilliant (attends an academically selective school, gifted and talented etc) but practically struggles with the most mundane of things, tying shoe laces, riding a bike, PE, swimming, can't properly handle cutlery, handwriting and it is not for want of trying or being shown - does she have any other struggles? How is she with PE, riding a bike etc?

Amelie10 I think saying OP's DSD is useless is a little harsh and uncalled for. I maybe that she has never been shown or given the chance to have a go before, or maybe there is another reason (not blatantly obvious) that makes it difficult to open the can. But please don't refer to a child as useless - that can have long lasting effects on that person.

Should have previewed/proof read

For some reason I just knew this would be about a step child.

Anyway, why hasn't her dad been teaching her all this stuff?

My mum used to berate me for not knowing things that no one had taught me. If I said that, she just replied that it is common sense.
I am thinking that we may somehow have the same mother.

"Anyway, why hasn't her dad been teaching her all this stuff?"

Yes, and her stepmother too

It is surprising that at 14 she has never done it before.

It isn't just her mother's fault that she can't, regardless of the fact she comes to stay with her father and therefore you less frequently than she did as a child.

Yes OP. How come you've only just realised she couldn;t do it? Didn't you or your DH take time to teach her? Her Mother didn't and neither did you.

Do people change a lot of fuses? I don't think I've ever done it, but I don't think DH is going and changing them behind my back either. I learned how to in science at school, I don't know if it's like wiring a plug and you just don't need to do it any more or if I'm missing loads of fuse-changing opportunities.

Teach her how.
And then she knows.

My dd is g&t etc, and very practical, but obviously still needs teaching how to do stuff.

If you don't teach them, how do they know?!
Can opening is not learned via osmosis ffs.

At 14 both my children were cooking a meal once a week. I cannot imagine why anyone wouldn't even let their child make themselves a piece of toast. Why would you want your child to be so helpless? Very strange.

Perhaps this particular 14 year old just comes from a household that doesn't used many tinned goods and so hasn't come across one (I don't think I've got one in my cupboard right now). However I remember when they first started making cans with ring pulls. We just figured out how they worked and opened them, they didn't come with instructions because they really aren't that complicated.

DD nearly 9 is G & T and I still have to tell her how to get ready to go out. "Last wee, trainers, coat." If I don't, she whines,"I don't know what to do!" It drives me crazy. No doubt I'll be posting a similar thread about her when she's 14.

My 8 year old made a got breakfast for Father's Day. Yes the sausage, egg and grilled tomato was done on a George Foreman, eggs scrambled and beans warmed by microwave and toast (obvs toaster) but all of the opening, egg cracking etc was done by my son.

He knows how to sort out washing, load and set the washer and he can work the vacuum cleaner and tumble dryer. He regularly just takes himself off for a shower after tea without being asked too.

I want to teach the kids the basics for when they leave home, especially the boys as husband didn't have a clue about anything and his mum wouldn't let him make a sandwich!

I can't clearly type this morning eyes are still shut, maybe I should wake him to make me a cup of tea.....

Most of the value/cheaper tinned food that I buy, don't have ring pulls, so that could be a factor.

Likewise, my DD (with more disposable income than me), buys the microwaveable pots of beans and fresh/frozen veg.

I also use dry cat food.

If you've been in her life since she was two and she only hasn't been to visit in a year or so, Why hasn't she been shown this, since around 8-10 years old?

Where I've lived, in Liverpool, the children seem to be given a lot more responsibility, younger than those on MN and are joining in with cooking, looking after younger siblings, going to local shops, from about eight, but because of shopping habits, may not come across ring pulls on tins.

I have to lift mine with a spoon first.

Did you not think to ask your DH, why this was?

I really struggle with ring pulls and straight up can't use a manual can opener. I also take about half an hour to peel a potato, my toast buttering is the source of endless merriment to my friends, I'm a terrible driver and can't really swim or play catch etc...nothing to do with parenting, my siblings are all fine and I'm a totally independent and capable adult. I just have to plan meals with a canned tomato base for nights when my fella is home we all have our strengths. Don't worry!

Tunnel of beans.
Makes me sad how few of the basics, teenagers seem to know, these days.
But. Those ring pulls can be EVIL!

I didn't think 14 year olds knew how to do anything!

Surely it's her parents responsibility to teach her essential life skills. Her DF has some busy time ahead helping her to gain some vital new skills. G&T doesn't automatically mean lots of common sense or practical skills.

Jmh some do. My 12 year old can make cakes, cook spaghetti bolognaise with all the prep herself including smashing garlic, making sauce...on the flip side, my 13 year old niece can't make her own cup of tea...because she's never allowed in the kitchen.

My 16YO will deny being able to use the oven, a sharp knife, the washing machine, load the dishwasher correctly, sort laundry into colours and a variety of mundane tasks, in spite of being completely capable if left to their own devices. I think appearing to be a bit helpless is a phase.

I'm certainly teaching my DCs basic stuff.

They are 16 and 12.5 and capable of washing/drying clothes (no tumble dryer), hoovering, dusting, washing pots/loading and unloading dishwasher, cleaning bathroom (DD, 16 - DS will learn in turn) and DD is fine at basic meals (and fab at baking). As for ironing, well, I do that rarely enough myself but will teach them.

DS can certainly cook bacon in a microwave and today I'm teaching him to cook a bolognese sauce and assemble a lasagna.

Beans? Well, we don't actually have these as apart from DD none of us like them But the principle is the same as the DCs can open tins with ring pull or those needing an opener.

My son used to be able to do things load the washer wash up make simple meals etc hit 14 and suddenly couldn't do anything he's 21 now and just capable of looking after himself although did ask he the other day the best way to toast a pitta bread ermm in the toaster was not the appropriate reply apparently.

Daughters friend can't cook herself anything at all (not toast etc), if her parents are out she goes to the shop to buy pizza or further into the town to buy other food (pasties, etc). She is 17 ! I can only think that as an only child, whose mum doesn't work, she is waited on...all the time :-)

My 6 year old has knows how to make scrambled eggs in the microwave and can make toast she can't butter it though

My nearly 8 year old loves cooking and tries to take over in the kitchen

Surprising that a 14 year old has never done it before.
Saying that I tried opening a tin of corned beef (with the little key) for the first time recently and completely screwed it up.