Anyone else get this?
I've recently had my second baby and I am just a much better mother this time around than I was 5 years ago.
First time around I was horribly stressed by new motherhood. I really thought DD would fit around my life and it was a shock to the system when she wouldn't. I was OBSESSED with trying to get her into a routine, desperate to prove myself, completely uptight about everything.
Yes I was loving and gave cuddles etc but in between I was huffy and impatient - always complaining that she wasn't sleeping properly, feeding properly, too clingy, cried too much - and I'm sure she picked up on my 'wtf have I done with my life?' vibes.
She's fine, thankfully, but also a very sensitive child and I can't help thinking I did that to her by not making her feel unconditionally loved and secure.
One time she vomited all over me after throwing a tantrum and I cleaned her up in silence, not offering any comfort, and put her to bed very curtly. She wasn't even two. I can't believe I did that.
This time - five years later - I am much more relaxed, happy to go with the flow, feed on demand, co sleep and try never to let new DS cry. I am happier to be a mum, more responsive and just generally a kinder, more maternal person.
I hate that DS is getting the best side of me, while DD had a grumpy cow of a mother for her first few years. I'm really ashamed actually.
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To think I was a terrible first time mum
38 replies
ButterflyGiraffe · 31/07/2016 22:42
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