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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move from the big smog to the Highlands?

371 replies

Rattusn · 31/07/2016 18:48

I have lived in London all my life, and it has been a bit of a love/hate relationship. I do love all the local facilities, and rarely for London, we do have some community. We do however live in a very deprived area, and I can already see my primary school age child becoming very streetwise, and being exposed to things I would rather she wasn't. The local secondary options are appalling ( very rough - think heavy gang involvement and frequent physical fights). If we stayed I would be dreading what will happen at age 11.

Our area is very high crime, and has a lot of social problems. Very ethnically diverse without much integration, with the resultant issues.

We have holidayed in the Highlands and it has been divine: Stunning scenery, with lovely friendly people, and altogether much more child friendly. Afaik all Scottish children go to their local school, so no more trekking across London because I couldn't get a place at a nearer school. House prices here are also incredibly good value for money after being used to London prices.

Altogether it seems like a an easy decision, but I'm not sure that it is pie in the sky. Aibu to uproot my dc across the country?

OP posts:
blueberryporridge · 01/08/2016 00:55

Inverness is a great place to live. Good quality of life and loads of things for children and teenagers to enjoy, including great activities on offer relating to the outdoors and traditional music etc. Yes,some things are restricted compared to what might be available in a city but there are other things which make up for this if you are looking for a different way of life.

State schools are generally good and usually within walking distance (though there are no private schools within easy travelling distance).Although there is now a university here, most young people still need to leave home to study and the chances of being able to come back north afterwards to work in a graduate level job are still very restricted.

It doesn't have the same range of shops as Edinburgh or Glasgow etc (though a lot of the high street chains are represented) and the A9 is a bit of a pain (or at least will be until dualling is complete) but there is always internet shopping (even though some companies treat Inverness like the Outer Hebrides in terms of postage costs). We have a great theatre/arts centre, good leisure centre (and private alternatives), terrific outdoor facilities, and loads of beautiful places to visit within easy reach.

Living outside the town might be more difficult from a practical point of view as rural public transport is limited, taxi-ing kids around could be quite time-consuming, and most country children are bussed in to secondary schools so they have early starts and are later getting home. In bad winters you also have to consider icy roads etc. (But, by and large, the weather is OK - not as warm in summer as further south but the winters are generally milder and my relatives in the north of England often have worse weather than we have. I also don't recognise some of the descriptions above!)

There have been a lot of cutbacks in public sector jobs recently and opportunities for good jobs in the private sector are also limited so it would be worth checking the employment situation out very carefully (although it sounds like you are already doing this).

I would guess you would find property good value if you are moving from London.

The post from Jacks11 makes some very good points.

On thing worth pointing out is that although Inverness is not the back of beyond, the distance from family and friends in England can be a real issue both time- and cost-wise.

I don't know anyone with an au pair so can't comment on that but I would think it would be an attractive location for many au pairs and there is also a good selection of other childcare options.

It is horses for courses though, and living somewhere is always going to be different from seeing it as a holidaymaker. If you try to live a London life here and measure things like shopping, job opportunities, and cultural activities in London terms you will be definitely be disappointed, but if you are willing to adjust and embrace this area's own strengths and opportunities, it has a lot going for it.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Fabellini · 01/08/2016 00:56

I live in Inverness, and I love it. We do have 24hr supermarkets, spin classes and yoga if you want them, a multiplex cinema, and a busy wee theatre that is attracting more and more quality touring productions. The schools are all pretty good - and as a parent of a child with sen, I have found provision for them to be excellent. I don't recognise my home at all in some of the posts here!
Of course it's colder than the SE, but the four hours of daylight in winter? That's nonsense! But even if it were true, the 18 to 20 hours of daylight in the summer would surely make up for it.
OP feel free to pm me if you want, I'll answer any questions you may have as honestly as I can.

WonkoTheSane42 · 01/08/2016 01:03

I've lived in or near Inverness for nearly 10 years. OP, maybe don't listen to anyone who doesn't actually live here or who never has. Some of the opinions are...interesting.

Let's see...

  1. Winter is cold. Yes! Of course it is, it's winter. But I lived in a flat for 7 years with nothing but a halogen heater, so it clearly isn't the arctic blast that folk who've never been north of Birmingham seem to think it is. Now, it is dark in winter, for longer than you'll be used to. We're talking sunrise just after 9 am and sunset just before 4pm. But equally, in June and July it's light until very late, so swings and roundabouts.

  2. Public transport. Despite what some seem to think, we do actually have buses and trains! But a car is easier, yes.

  3. Cinemas, theatre, museums, restaurants, shopping. Yes, we have these too! And pizza delivery. And 24hr supermarkets. (And as it's Scotland that 24hr part includes Sundays.)

  4. Cost of living. Much lower than London. Higher than some other parts of Scotland. Petrol is currently £1.09 per litre, to give you a point of comparison.

  5. Price of housing. Again, much lower than London, higher than some other parts of Scotland. Example: www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-50110664.html

  6. Schools. Seems to be a lot more straightforward than England. All of the schools in Inverness are pretty good, but I'd avoid Inverness High School. I don't know much about primaries. And thinking ahead, assuming your kids go to uni, it's a lot cheaper to do so here. Most kids go away to uni, to Aberdeen, Edinburgh or Glasgow, but there is a university in Inverness too.

  7. Jobs. I am a teacher, so can only speak to that. Yes, we need teachers but the Highland Council is in a bit of a mess financially and a lot of posts are either disappearing or being advertised on temporary contracts. Most secondary school teachers are on a form of work to rule over assessments at the moment and I foresee possible strikes in the next few years if John Swinney can't sort out the workload issue. HOWEVER, I do believe it's still miles better than teaching down south.

  8. Anti-English feeling. No, not really. Not that I have ever seen or heard. I admit this is a bit like white people who say racism doesn't exist because they don't experience it (how would they know?) but I have English friends and colleagues who seem to like living here well enough, so... There are loads of English people up here; you won't stand out.

bungmean · 01/08/2016 01:06

OP, I'm guessing you're talking healthcare sector.

If you are, I work in NHS Highland, and live near Inverness (originally from England).
I have never had any anti-English attitude here, and it is an extremely friendly and laid back area.
I have also never seen a midge here.
Winters are fine. There is snow, but it isn't bad.

Move! I've never looked back.

tabulahrasa · 01/08/2016 01:24

"a small town in Argyll. Schools are wonderful, plenty of outdoor activity for kids, both of us got jobs."

I grew up in a small town in Argyll...the secondary school was appalling, teenagers who weren't interested in outdoor activities instead spent their time having underage sex and developing alcohol and drug problems.

Decent job opportunities were few and far between, though plenty of seasonal minimum wage jobs and signing on over winter.

Not really relevant to the OP as she's specified Inverness, but I definitely wouldn't raise children where I grew up.

OptimisticSix · 01/08/2016 01:27

I have lived in the Highlands and loved it. I would have stayed but it was too far from family... that said the winter can be hard.... and dark!!!

Liiinoo · 01/08/2016 01:35

We live mostly in London but also have a house in NW Ireland which is similar in climate/terrain to the Highlands. I love it there but would struggle living there year round because the days are so short and dark in the winter. Would the highlands be the same? I find those short days very depressing, (although the longer days in the summers are wonderful). Also, I would agree with the concerns about midges.

Finally, I don't think you should underestimate the difference between living somewhere huge and anonymous like London, and living in a small rural community. Although I can be very sociable, I am quite introverted and sometimes find it hard when popping out to town for milk and a stamp will involve half a dozen different conversations - with sales assistants, neighbours and assorted relations and connections. Sometimes I long for a bland Tesco Express and a self service checkout. But if the OP is more extrovert she might love that side of rural life.

Baileysagain · 01/08/2016 01:37

We have just got back from holiday and I feel the same as you, ready to move away. I love London but quite fancy a change, the only thing is if we moved away we could never afford to move back!

purplefox · 01/08/2016 01:46

I'm English and live in Scotland and I've never encountered any anti-English feeling.

London to the Highlands is a massive change, I'd probably go for a village/small town which is in easy reach of Edinburgh (East Lothian/Scottish Borders?), Glasgow, Perth or Stirling.

PuppyMonkeyBaby · 01/08/2016 06:07

This thread puts me in mind of Hamish McBeth.

JustGettingStarted · 01/08/2016 06:39

I was going to post something similar to what flouncy said (minus the serious crime.) We spent a couple of years in Argyll. DH got a job offer up there and I thought I'd give it a try. I struggled with the simple logistics of family life. If you don't genuinely love pottering around the house and garden, there's very little to do.

If you don't want everyone to know everything you do, don't move to a rural community.

Once there was a terrible accident on the road. A helicopter landed in the shinty pitch of our village and the pilot asked if someone could drive him to the scene so that he could survey the site to see if there was a spot he could land. A neighbour drove him there and back. This took about fifteen minutes. Then he took the helicopter over to help the victim. Emergency services can take a while.

And every winter we'd be cut off from Glasgow when a mountain road collapsed and had to be closed. It meant driving many miles around and coming down a different route.

And I got so tired of paying convenience store prices for milk and food.

Sure was beautiful, though.

aliceinwanderland · 01/08/2016 06:51

I think quite a lot of English move to the area around Inverness. Always struck by that when I am up there.

We moved from London to Glasgow. While there are a lot of advantages I wouldn't do it again. I get fed up with the rain (although it is beautiful this morning!) and in my sector employment opportunities are more limited and salaries much lower than England. I think the Black Isle and around actually gets the most sun in Scotlabd so personally that would be my preference. I also don't see my siblings as much as I'd like.

My preference now would be south west England -Dorset or Somerset. Doesn't have quite the same stunning views but for me nearer to family and London.

sonjadog · 01/08/2016 06:54

I would definitely move if I were you. Give it a go and see. If you don´t like it, you can always move further south again.

Charlieismydarlin · 01/08/2016 07:08

The reason the OP is lambasted for voicing any concern on rapid levels of immigration to areas is precisely why a Brexit vote prevailed. It is not xenophobic to voice these concerns!

OP there is very little anti-English sentiment in most parts of Scotland. I have heard that Inverness can be a little closed in, from a Columbian friend who moved there.

What about a town in Stirlingshire or Scottish Borders where employment is better and more for teenagers? I would move to the Highlands in a heartbeat but I worry my teenagers would be resentful. It's fabulous up there and I honestly feel you would be made welcome. Half the local populace of some parts are English now anyway!!

Also consider Moray - Forres is beautiful. Elgin maybe.

Or an Inverness town like Strathpeffer. The Black Isle is also stunning - Cromarty etc and I think good schools that way

Go for a change.

WappersReturns · 01/08/2016 07:11

We did it, not from London but from Newcastle. We aren't Highlands technically (although try telling that to online shops charging me Highland p+p rates Angry) but NE Scotland within driving distance of Aberdeen and Inverness.

We deliberately moved very rurally and it's worked out great for us. We haven't experienced any anti English feeling in the slightest and it took me a long time to get used to walking down streets without looking at the floor or catching someone's eye in case they clocked me one. I'm grateful my children have grown up never having to experience that.

10 miles North of us is a town which is considered 'rough' up here and 10 miles South of us is a 'naice' town. Hand on heart, the 'rough' town is infinitely nicer on its worst day than my home town was on it's very best.

It's not hard to find some wonderful semi - rural towns near Aberdeen, literally there is City and then green Grin. It's definitely possible to get that village community feeling well within easy reach of the benefits of the town.

My only real complaint is the road. We live off the a90 and the Northern section is appalling. They are dualling some parts of it but they are stopping right before our section Sad it really is a concern.

Otherwise I would say go for it. I see the children of my friends from back home and they are so streetwise compared to my lot and their friends up here. I wouldn't go back for a million pounds now!

flumpybear · 01/08/2016 07:18

I'd go for it!! You can always move back if you hate it!!! Inverness is very 'north' I'd favour more the central belt, Crieff for example, but each to their own

Rattusn · 01/08/2016 07:21

Really daft question: does dialling mean marking the road dual carriageway?

Why is Inverness high school one to avoid? Coming from London I have had to lower my standards a lot with regards to schooling, though obviously I would like the best possible. Any local primaries that people would recommend?

OP posts:
Abraiid2 · 01/08/2016 07:35

Inverness, apart from round the river, which is pretty, has little to recommend it if you are used to urban life. It is really a town, not a city. We have spent a lot of time up there in all seasons and I wouldn't live there permanently. In fact, we are selling a house up there.

By the third week of August it can feel very autumnal already.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/08/2016 07:47

It totally is xenophobic to moan about people speaking in their own language.

It's just become seemingly OK to say such things since Brexit. Sadly.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/08/2016 07:48

It's even more xenophobic to say they are responsible for crimes, and to say that "they can fill out English forms to get stuff when it suits them".

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 01/08/2016 07:56

Why do you keep derailing the thread fanjo?

LunaLoveg00d · 01/08/2016 07:58

Dualling does mean making it dual carriageway yes. The A9 has long had stretches of dual carriageway between Perth and Inverness, but long stretches of just one lane each way. There were lots of accidents with people getting frustrated behind lorries and attempting dangerous overtakes. There are also average speed cameras the whole way.

My husband is English and living in Scotland and doesn't get abused. The worst of the dark in winter is December/January and I hate it too - but when it's still light at 11pm in June it makes up for it.

WappersReturns · 01/08/2016 08:01

Yes, they are making the a90 dual carriageway up to around 10 minutes north of Aberdeen Smile

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/08/2016 08:03

I was answering a poster who brought it up, throughthick. Hope that's OK with you. Maybe look a few posts back. If that doesn't detract from you wanting to have a bitch at me.

Like it's worse to address xenophobia than actually express it anyway. Sad state of affairs since Brexit.

RowenaDahl · 01/08/2016 08:08

I'd say give it a go but agree with comment to rent your London place out.

Completely understand the comment about communities not integrating. Have lived somewhere similar.