To move from the big smog to the Highlands?

[Rattusn]

I have lived in London all my life, and it has been a bit of a love/hate relationship. I do love all the local facilities, and rarely for London, we do have some community. We do however live in a very deprived area, and I can already see my primary school age child becoming very streetwise, and being exposed to things I would rather she wasn't. The local secondary options are appalling ( very rough - think heavy gang involvement and frequent physical fights). If we stayed I would be dreading what will happen at age 11.

Our area is very high crime, and has a lot of social problems. Very ethnically diverse without much integration, with the resultant issues.

We have holidayed in the Highlands and it has been divine: Stunning scenery, with lovely friendly people, and altogether much more child friendly. Afaik all Scottish children go to their local school, so no more trekking across London because I couldn't get a place at a nearer school. House prices here are also incredibly good value for money after being used to London prices.

Altogether it seems like a an easy decision, but I'm not sure that it is pie in the sky. Aibu to uproot my dc across the country?

[GKite]

I realise this is an old thread but my gosh don't move to Inverness, especially not with teens. There is absolutely nothing here and everybody my age is desperate to leave!

[Buggeroffalo]

Rattusn I live near Inverness, and moved back here after a decade in London. I don’t regret it for a second. When I head south now I’m stunned by how busy and noisy it is. We have everything we need in terms of facilities and the instant access to the outdoors is amazing.

I’m also public sector, and in comparison to colleagues in my sister organisation in England there is more resource and a greater focus on work/life balance.

Yes - there is always an underside, but in my day to day life I don’t see it and isn’t there everywhere? It is cooler up here and there are shorter days in winter, but the pay off is long light summer evenings and beautiful scenery to roam in.

I don’t find the A9 particularly onerous, especially now the average speed cameras are in and it’s planned to be fully duelled by 2025.

Yesterday we drove to aviemore and walked around Loch an Eilien followed by some wild swimming and fish and chips on the way home. Today we’re going to Nairn beach and for a bike ride to see the farm with llamas.

I’ll be your friend if you move up here, you don’t need to worry about that at all.

[buckley1]

Hi there,
Reading through this as I'm also from London and thinking of doing the same. Would it be ok to pm? I
Thanks

[YouMakeMyDreams]

I won't ask but I'm desperate to know where some of these posters in the Highlands live. soooooo nosey.
Dd's school has a roll of I think around 400 but like I said we have 3 primary schools in our town and it has pupils coming from a couple of other villages too.

[Roseformeplease]

I teach teenagers in the Highlands. The drug thing baffles me. Very little evidence for it in my area, or amongst other Highland secondary teachers I have spoken to. Certainly we receive no huge training in coping with drug abuse and I have NEVER had a pupil, in 20 years, where it was a problem for them, or their families. (Tiny community, I would know).

Imagine for example, we were talking about Belgium. (Roughly the same land mass) and people were going, "Don't move to Belgium, they hate the ........ They all take... You won't be able to."

That is the equivalent. There is huge variety in the Highlands and there are huge distances. We routinely drive to Inverness for hospital, cinema etc and yet people from Inverness are no more likely to travel to my village than people from Glasgow (same sort of distance). My kids go to a tiny school, and we know everyone. There are schools in Inverness a more "normal" size (800-1000).

Upside is lovely people who are predisposed to welcome newcomers, especially if they bring vital skills to the community (Dr, nurse, teacher, plumber) and, here, if they have children who are rapidly absorbed into everything. The downside is the distances to get to things. Again, however, Inverness has a sleeper service to London, airport (Amsterdam every day plus London and Bristol) and the a9 is being improved.

Go for it. I moved from Brixton and have never regretted it.

[whatishistory]

I've messaged you OP

[WankersHacksandThieves]

I'd say Inverness is less remote in a way than some of the places listed Banana, it has a cinema and decent leisure centre, shopping mall etc as well as a direct train service to nairn for the beach Aviemore for outdoor sports etc. It's far away from London and to an extent Edinburgh and Glasgow, but it has a decent amount of facilities.

[Banana99]

If it wasn't for the free university education would you be more likely to live elsewhere?
It's just there are other areas of the country that are cheaper, good schools and less crime.

Having grown up in a small village outsid of a big town I have been unwilling to move to similar for DC.
It's awful not been able to get around. I was a quiet teen and not friends with the others in the village and desperately wanted to be near my friends in the town and have more access to cinema and just been able to get into the town centre without a 90 minute bus ride.

The highlands just seems very remote. There's the NE, Yorkshire, Northumberland etc.
I have spend some time in the Scottish Borders, means access to Edinburgh too.

[OrlandaFuriosa]

Prima, depends where you were. Th west coast farmers were v down. The horizontal rain for days was unusual even there.

[PrimalLass]

And again, this summer hasn't been too bad surely? Just a normal Scottish summer with some lovely days and some not so great. Our country wouldn't be so green and beautiful if it didn't rain.

[ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin]

I will say that we now live in big city Scotland after a move from the South of England and the quality of life is better by a country mile. My personal experience makes me wary of country living but you are getting a lot of good insight here, both good and bad, hopefully you're getting a balanced view.

[Haggisfish]

Fair enough. It is tricky. My experience is from a while ago-I think it is more inclusive than it used to be up there.

[Rattusn]

haggis I am just putting these points into perspective. Some on here talk about drug use like it is something that doesn't happen in London.

I'm still not decided about what to do, but I am increasingly wondering why stay in London.

[Haggisfish]

I also feel you may be glossing over/choosing to ignore some of the less salubrious insights, but I don't feel the outrage from expat is justified! Good luck op-I sincerely hope any move is successful and you can come back in years to come and say 'told you so!'

[Rattusn]

captain crunch Have you been reading the same thread? I have had a whole spectrum of opinions, and I have appreciated the honesty. I have said that the drug use does not scare me as the problem is infinitely worse here, this is based on drug crime statistics.

In terms of isolation, we are planning to live in a large town/city, so that isn't relevant. I have also explained how the job opportunities for us are very good (in fact better than London).

Mentioning the highlands in the op was not intended to offend, maybe I should have said 'Inverness and surrounding towns', but I made that clear later on.

I'm surprised that a thread asking for advice has resulted in such bile.

paney Thank you for understanding our situation. As usual with a big move, it is just difficult because of our local connections.

[panegyricS1]

I lived in a part of London like you describe OP. I was a postgrad student/young professional in a house share. It was fun, but there's no way I'd live there as a family so I know what you mean. If you can find work, and a town with decent public transport, go for it!

[CaptainCrunch]

I get where expat is coming from. Your opening post annoyed me with the term " the highlands" like it's all the same place.

You've been given a lot of honest information about the lack of job opportunities, the isolation, the boredom for teenagers and the appalling drug problems but have chosen metaphorically to stick your fingers in your ears and sing lalalala.

[Rattusn]

expat you sound rather angry, I'm not sure why. I'm not sure on the move by any means, and I have received lots of good advice on this thread. The main thing against the move is the upheaval. That is a big barrier.

champers Thank you for the reassurance. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced London is not for us. To get value for money going very north seems to give the most.

[Champers4Pampers]

Wow, I didn't realise so money people think that we live in the dark ages in Scotland!
I lived in NE Scotland for the majority of my life, (have lived in Birmingham & London for a few years before children).
I loved my young single time in the big smoke but there was a reason I moved back here to have a family.
No it's not always idillic, yes the weather can be crap (this summer especially) and yes (shock horror) you get drug addicts up here too but it's not Trainspotting!
In my opinion I have the best of both worlds up here. Beautiful countryside, outdoor pursuits, not far from beaches, skiing, hill walking. Good schools. On the other hand I'm not far from a city and airport, usually take 2 trips to London a year. Ok, you may not have to move all the way to the highlands to have this lifestyle but from the way you've described the area in London you live in I'd definatley consider moving out of London to get a better life for your kids.

[expatinscotland]

I like it, but I don't live in a vacuum. I have a feeling my kids might not in a few years and I wouldn't have come here from a place like London with tweens, mine have been here all their lives and it does make a difference. You seem bent on moving to Inverness. Why start a thread on AIBU? You've already decided it's perfectly reasonable and will do it, so go then.

[Rattusn]

Also, fwiw we stayed with a friend in the less fashionable part of Inverness, not in a hotel right in the centre. The most we saw in ten days was a man with a can of cider around midday.

[Rattusn]

expat do you like it where you live?

The difference between London and Inverness would be that we could afford to live in a nice part of Inverness, whereas we live in a very not nice part of London, and will never be able to afford otherwise. I've compared the crime statistics and there is no comparison: there is far far more crime and drug related crime in London than Inverness.

I don't imagine Inverness would be drug free, but I do envision that my dd would not have to walk past a drug den every day on her way to school, not have to frequently cross the road on the school run because it is cordoned off because of yet another stabbing/shooting, and not have to see regular drug/drink related violence on our doorstep. It really is the pits here, I could go on. The police have no control whatsoever.

Inverness wouldn't be perfect, but it would be a lot better.

If I won the lottery, and had the millions it would cost for a family house in a nice area, and private school I wouldn't be contemplating this move, but as a lowly paid public sector worker it will never happen.

[expatinscotland]

'I didn't see any of that in Inverness.'

LOL! Of course you didn't. You were there on holiday. I didn't see rife drug-dealing and use when I was on holiday in London, either, all the multiple times I have been there. And the thing is, the areas where it's rife in any place don't have fences round them. The users are free to travel at will and behave in a criminal fashion wherever they are.

Nah, we don't have a problem with drugs, no way

[expatinscotland]

And so you think running off to Scotland will solve your problems? Everywhere you go, you always take the weather. If my spouse announced a move like this a fait accompli, he'd be doing it alone with a divorce decree in his bags. I wouldn't pull a social and extroverted pre-teen out and move them hundreds of miles away to a place like this (I live in the Western Highlands, FWIW).

Sounds like a case of the grass is greener but hey, it's your life.

[Rattusn]

Also financially, I couldn't get afford to home school. Most importantly, I don't think I would be any good at it. My oldest dd is very social and extroverted and would miss formal schooling.