To move from the big smog to the Highlands?

[Rattusn]

I have lived in London all my life, and it has been a bit of a love/hate relationship. I do love all the local facilities, and rarely for London, we do have some community. We do however live in a very deprived area, and I can already see my primary school age child becoming very streetwise, and being exposed to things I would rather she wasn't. The local secondary options are appalling ( very rough - think heavy gang involvement and frequent physical fights). If we stayed I would be dreading what will happen at age 11.

Our area is very high crime, and has a lot of social problems. Very ethnically diverse without much integration, with the resultant issues.

We have holidayed in the Highlands and it has been divine: Stunning scenery, with lovely friendly people, and altogether much more child friendly. Afaik all Scottish children go to their local school, so no more trekking across London because I couldn't get a place at a nearer school. House prices here are also incredibly good value for money after being used to London prices.

Altogether it seems like a an easy decision, but I'm not sure that it is pie in the sky. Aibu to uproot my dc across the country?

[dementedma]

What do you mean by Highlands OP? Inverness, Aviemore, Kingussie? People are nice and friendly when you holiday here because you are a tourist and they want your money. You are right that the schools thing is much easier,but it's the same in all of Scotland. The highlands have midges in summer and some truly appalling weather in winter. Try looking at somewhere like Perth or Stirling as an option.

[acasualobserver]

I don't think the OP is anti ethnic minorities but rather the the separation between ethnic and racial groups in London. I agree - for all its melting pot pretentions, too often London is a very unintegrated place.

[Haggisfish]

And, honestly, there can be quite a lot of anti English feeling.

[TheRealAdaLovelace]

I would not take my kids to somewhere where they will be 'foreigners' within the UK tbh. They would suffer. People are polite and kind to holidaymakers because their stay is temporary. You would find quite different attitudes if you moved in, esp with lots of money from London.
What about somewhere nearer and still in England like Sussex or Essex?

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Sounds idyllic. I'd rent out and rent up there first just in case the reality wasn't for me. Other than that, I'd say do it. You may always regret not.

[Sqooobado453]

Most people where I live are not:

Provincial
Anti-English
Racist
Struggling for work
Locked in their houses for the duration of winter

[dementedma]

Yes, there will be resistance in some quarters to English incomers. Tell them you are pro-trident, anti-independence and vote Tory and you'll be fine....

[Northernlurker]

What jobs would you be looking at? I dearly love Scotland and dh is Scottish. We always holiday on mull but I know I couldn't live here. Perthshire or Edinburgh where we have family yes, no problem.

[Madinche1sea]

Any reason for the Highlands in particular, OP? It does seem like going from one extreme to the other. Have you visited in the winter?

What about somewhere like Cornwall or Wales?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Rattusn - we moved from Essex to a village near Paisley, and we love it in Scotland. The boys have had an excellent education, and have lovely friends. We live in easy reach of Glasgow, the countryside and the seaside, and have lovely friends too.

And two of the three boys are getting their university tuition free, because they are studying in Scotland.

I would agree with the previous poster who advised you to live in or near a big town - when I was 10, my parents moved us out to the middle of nowhere, in Shropshire, and I had a pretty miserable childhood there - I had no friends in the village where we lived, and no way of getting to see the few friends I did have, because there was no public transport (well, one bus a week from our village to the nearest town, and back again). Mum didn't drive, and dad wasn't willing to chauffeur us round.

Where we live now, there are good public transport links, so that the boys could have independent social lives, as they got older. And we could afford two cars, so I could drive the boys round - and I was happy to do it.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Oh, and we had had a number of holidays in Scotland, and loved them - and each time we said "If a job came up for do, would we move?" - and then one did - and we have never regretted it.

[Flouncy]

I was born in London, grew up in suburbia, have lived in several citys, several villages and very remotely.

All have had significant plus points. I think you can look, for the plus points in most situations. Whats important is to see the whole picture.

Our fairly remote house was my dream, its a broken dream. We have a disabled child. No schooling was available nearby let alone any further life opportunities, no transport or special transport. No physio, occupational therapy or hospital. No real opportunities to meet parents in a similar boat. As DS got older the logistics of every appointment (he has many),being a full day out, having to make special arrangements for the other DC when there aren't nurserys and wrap around childcare readily available made it become more of a strugle.

The final straw for us was I was a victim of a serious crime, I dont wish to share but the police were 25mins at best I understand on 999, more likely up to an hour. We were in a mobile dead area so the usual protect yourself keep your mobile charged type advice wasn't relevant. We couldn't live a life of looking over our shoulders particularly with a very vulnerable child. We tried but on balance the whole picture for us had changed.

I didn't mind it being below freezing for three months. Discovering that at sustained -15 even many hardy plants die, the supermarkets running out of milk and bread regularly because lorrys couldn't get through didn't worry me. Nor did packages taking longer to arrive. Sometimes i missed the cinema and theater but would house swap with my parents who tended the animals and enjoyed rural bliss whilst I got a city fix. Theres work arounds to most things.

Being organised became important. Silly things like it being a whole day to get next size up school shoes because you need to go to a big town. Little supermarkets dont generally stock clothes or emergency school supplies and even in the next town over they may not have the shoes in the right size so it can become a two day event to get meassured and fitted for school shoes.

Its such a massive life contrast you're talking about doing a really thorough self examination of what you see as the pluses would be worth while. Look at the potential challenges and how you feel you could work through them.

This is the real thing, its important you're in the driving seat.

[crazyspaniellady]

I live in the NE of Scotland OP and it's lovely! My family is from a little village in the middle of nowhere, but I live in the city. I would like to point out to those up thread that there's no 'anti-English' or racism or anything like that (even in the village my family's from that appears to be stuck in the 60s! ) but I would definitely consider moving to a bigger town or city, rural life is wonderful but can be a bit of a pain. And everyone exaggerates the weather we get here, it is definitely colder than London and maybe a little drizzlier, but it's not like the polar ice caps in November.
Do what's best for you and your family OP, but definitely think everything through thoroughly first, as it is a mahoosive upheaval.

[Amelie10]

Ignore the racist accusations op.
Sounds like a good move. The area and schools doesn't seem like it's worth sticking it out and you need to do what's best for you and your DD.

[LunaLoveg00d]

Practical considerations - if you are used to "big city" life with 24 hour supermarkets, cinemas, theatre, museums, the tube, loads of restaurants and shops then moving to a small community is going to be a massive culture shock. Also think about work - there aren't many big employers unless you can carry on working online. Doctors and dentists are also in demand.

But on the positive side in many areas of the Highlands the crime rate is extremely low, there is huge community spirit, everyone goes to the local school and the scenery is stunning.

Saying we have 11 months of winter in Scotland is just crazy and ignorant. It is often wild and windy but in coastal regions in the west highlands, snow is rare.

[Parka]

I've got family in the highlands (north of Ullapool) and know that particular stretch of the north west well. It is the most gloriously beautiful part of the UK in imho and we visit every year. Like the OP I live in London and also have a young child who will soon be at the secondary school choice stage.

Here are some of the things mean I'd never make this move myself (though obviously it will depend entirely on where you move to):

The weather. We joke about it - and the highlands can of course have amazing weather - but it is much colder than the south east and much much wetter. My parents moved back 20 years ago and still talk about the contrast ALL THE TIME.

The opportunities. I'd never be able to get a job there that was anything close to what I can do here. All the things my son is into (esp sport) wouldn't be available. My husband is a bit of a culture vulture and generally very urban - he'd hate it. Most of the young people I've come across move away for work or uni as soon as they can.

Schools - varies depending on where you go but in many areas kids travel long distances to attend secondary school, with some having to stay over in the week.

You're utterly dependent on a car. This would be a big issue for us but not for many people.

Don't imagine that there aren't any social problems there either - they are just hidden. Drugs, drink - all the usual teenage stuff goes on.

Sorry if this sounds very downbeat. It's a beautiful and very special part of the world and I'm sure people do make the move and love it. But I very much agree with what other people have said - try living there for a while before you completely commit.

[EsmesBees]

Good idea to rent first to see if it suits you all. I know a fair few families who have left London in search of a better style of living and then been unable to afford to return when they missed it. It sounds to me that it's the area of London you are in rather than London itself. If you are flexible work wise why not consider a smaller and more affordable city, like Exeter or York?

[WankersHacksandThieves]

The other thing to think about is the cost of living. Petrol is more expensive, you probably need your heating on virtually all year, delivery costs are often higher, food can be more expensive, eating out is expensive...well, you get the picture. I always get surprised when we head to somewhere like the Lake District and find that eating out for us is cheaper.

You just have to weigh it up, it can get depressing when you have limited daylight in the winter and it is cloudy and gloomy all day - sometimes for weeks on end, but then you have beautiful clear crisp days and summers where it doesn't really get dark and you can be out playing at 11pm in the school holidays and it all pays off.

[madgingermunchkin]

I grew up in the Highlands, and so many families moved up there thinking it would be a "fantastic adventure". All bar one moved back to a city within 3 years because they just couldn't cope with the change of pace and difference in lifestyle. Especially if the kids are slightly older and suddenly find their options and activities restricted.

The year round reality is very, very different from a few weeks holiday there in the summer.

[ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout]

I'm in the West of Scotland, outskirts of a small town, easy access to the big city. We are very close to countryside and the coast too. A rural move would worry me. Perhaps consider closer to a town or city for the best of both worlds?

[Katedotness1963]

I'm from the north and I'd have a hard time moving back to the area.
Few jobs and they're likely to go to someone they know rather than an incomer. You will always be an incomer, just because they're not saying it to your face doesn't mean they're not saying it behind your back.
My kids are teenagers, there is nothing to do. The eldest is into music. Going to concerts would mean going down the day before, staying thAt night, the night of the gig and coming back the next day. So hotel/B&B/food and drink costs have to be added in to entertainment.
The big thing for teenage boys is getting their driving licence so they can drive round the county like a bat out of hell until they end up in a ditch having killed themselves or their friends.
Drink and drugs are the weekend entertainment.
How's your health? If you have any problems it could mean multiple trips to the nearest city for treatment.
I went home to live for two years. Never made it onto the NHS dentists books. Too many people ahead of me waiting to get taken on.
Did you know you can live so far north you're no longer considered to be on the mainland? That's great when you're shopping on the Internet and they won't deliver to you.
Housing is cheap, but it's tiny. We had to rent a place with a garage because we couldn't get half our furniture into the house.

It is beautiful. People can be friendly. It's great for little kids, they can have loads of freedom. It's fairly safe. It is a huge change in lifestyle.

[moonface1978]

I'm English (Home Counties accent) and live in Scotland. Have done for years. Never have I experienced any poor treatment because of my background. Many people here certainly feel very strongly that they shouldn't be governed from London (and I am one of them) but this is not (in my fairly extensive experience) is a political and not personal against English individuals. In the same way that many people in England would rather not be governed by the Tories but don't go about discriminating against or harassing their supporters.

[CaptainCrunch]

I think the op has a very unrealistic rose tinted impression of "the highlands". There is a massive drug problem, lots of disaffected, bored youths, very little work unless it's in low paid hospitality industry, everything is much dearer and the winter months see an average 4 hours of daylight. Your dc won't thank you for teenage life there when they could have been in London.

[jmh740]

I would have some concerns about what you are thinking about, where abouts in the Highlands are you thinking off? What do you do for work? My husband is from the Highlands about 30 miles north of Inverness it is a beautiful place and I do like to visit fil but I do think think I would like to live there, at the minute I live about 20 miles from Manchester I love the face I can be in Manchester Liverpool blackpool the lakes within an hour, there are plenty of facilities locally shopping library swimming cinema etc. I've struggled when visiting fil with the nearest shops facilities etc being so far away, nearest hospital in 20+ miles away, if I wanted to take kids to cinema that's 20 miles away you have to go over a bridge to get to fils if there is a lot of water then bridge is closed and it's a huge hassle to get anywhere. Fil and lots of family worked in the family business I'd worry about five ding a job and children finding a job when they are old enough. I also feel very much like an outsider when I visit I really struggle with the language I only understand about 50% of what fil says.