Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move from the big smog to the Highlands?

371 replies

Rattusn · 31/07/2016 18:48

I have lived in London all my life, and it has been a bit of a love/hate relationship. I do love all the local facilities, and rarely for London, we do have some community. We do however live in a very deprived area, and I can already see my primary school age child becoming very streetwise, and being exposed to things I would rather she wasn't. The local secondary options are appalling ( very rough - think heavy gang involvement and frequent physical fights). If we stayed I would be dreading what will happen at age 11.

Our area is very high crime, and has a lot of social problems. Very ethnically diverse without much integration, with the resultant issues.

We have holidayed in the Highlands and it has been divine: Stunning scenery, with lovely friendly people, and altogether much more child friendly. Afaik all Scottish children go to their local school, so no more trekking across London because I couldn't get a place at a nearer school. House prices here are also incredibly good value for money after being used to London prices.

Altogether it seems like a an easy decision, but I'm not sure that it is pie in the sky. Aibu to uproot my dc across the country?

OP posts:
WankersHacksandThieves · 05/08/2016 09:31

I think the thing with drugs is possibly overstated in the town/small city areas as far as I can tell. I think it depends very much where you live and who you hang about with. I have family that were brought up in Inverness and Aviemore (currently young adults) and with the exception of one nephew who went through a bit of weed smoking, none have had any involvement in drugs and they are all very social people. My own teens in Stirling have had no involvement but aren't that social yet. However, the next estate to us has constant drug raids but if I didn't read it on the police FB page, I'd be oblivious. At DSs high school there are about half a dozen kids that hang about in the trees at the side, smoking and drinking but the rest of the school treat them as a bit of a joke.

In very rural areas it may be different? Maybe when there are less people to hang about with then they end up hanging with people you'd prefer they didn't?

On your budget OP you are unlikely to be living in a "rough" area of a town/city and any school will have enough normal everyday pupils in order to have your child mix with people she fits with.

I'm not for one minute saying that drugs is a rough issue btw - I believe that private schools can have a far bigger issue due to the availability of disposable cash. I think what I am trying to say is that wherever you are choosing to live and go to school will have a majority of people who aren't into drugs so the odds are stacked in favour of not being involved.

Incidentally after a similar conversation with my DH, we recently asked my teens if they'd ever been offered anything or pushed into trying anything - they thought we were mad and said never, not even a bottle of cider. I remember being worse when I grew up!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/08/2016 09:37

"Normal everyday pupils" . Not those awful rough plebs Hmm

YouMakeMyDreams · 05/08/2016 09:53

I'm 25 miles away from inverness with a teenager. I can honestly say I was far more aware of drugs in the city we used to live than I ever have been up here. Of course the exist but it's not rife on every Street corner. I have ended far less worries abut bringing my children up here than I did in a naice area of the city. Part of that is that everyone knows everyone else. It's far harder for children to misbehave when the whole town knows who they are.

backwardpossom · 05/08/2016 10:03

The drugs thing is always brought up on threads like this. I've lived rurally in the north of Scotland most of my life. There are drugs, of course there are, but I found them to be much more prevalent in the cities I have lived in.

WankersHacksandThieves · 05/08/2016 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Rattusn · 05/08/2016 10:17

walkers I think it's best to avoid fanjo as she is just being deliberately provocative, and to derail the thread. So far no one seems to agree with her either.

Are there any areas of Inverness/schools to avoid?

OP posts:
WankersHacksandThieves · 05/08/2016 10:23

My family members who lived in Inverness lived out at Holm/Culduthell way. Not sure if the area has a particular name - it's on the west side of the city - always seemed a really nice suburban residential area when we were visiting. I've walked along the river into town on many occasions although I think most people would jump on the bus.

WankersHacksandThieves · 05/08/2016 10:25

And yes, I agree re the other point - it always amazes me that those complaining about others making judgements are the first to jump to conclusions and judge others.

OrlandaFuriosa · 05/08/2016 11:30

Rattusn. Hpsc has some amazing Inverness houses.

Why not Caithness, anyone?

minifingerz · 05/08/2016 16:30

" will have enough normal everyday pupils in order to have your child mix with people she fits with"

One of my dd's best friends comes from a single parent headed immigrant family (6 kids) where the mother is sectioned several times every year, and where the two teenage brothers are known to the police (and one was electronically tagged last year). Their front door has dents in it from where the police have kicked it in in the past.

My dd is from a m/c home, and hopes to go to university next year. Knowing this family has made dd more compassionate and understanding, not turned her into street scum.

'Ordinary' kids come from extraordinarily disadvantaged backgrounds too.

Original poster
Rattusn · 05/08/2016 16:39

A specific question: why is Inverness high school to be avoided/is it that bad? We have seen a beautiful house which is in the catchment for ihs. If it is that bad, would a placing request for another school (Mill burn) have much chance of success?

OP posts:
prettybird · 05/08/2016 17:08

If you call the school (there should be some of the teachers in on Monday as they get the exam results then - the pupils get them on Tuesday), they should tell you whether they're usually able to accept placing requests.

WankersHacksandThieves · 05/08/2016 17:11

ffs mini - not you too?

When talking about normal everyday pupils, I thought I was being clear that these are the pupils that aren't into drugs etc. You know, just kids that go to school to learn stuff, make friends etc. Some of the nicest kids I know come from single parent rough backgrounds and my son was bullied by the kids form the exec houses. There are good and bad influences everywhere.

backwardpossom · 05/08/2016 17:19

I know that inspection reports aren't the be all and end all, but the last inspection report from Inverness High School is here - looks ok to me. I certainly haven't heard of any bad reports, but I'm in the next authority along, so probably wouldn't.

You can find all inspections here if you're interested.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/08/2016 20:13

Oh look..someone agrees with me.

Classy PA BTW, thanks.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/08/2016 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/08/2016 20:24

I am amazed too, these days on MN tbh.

But every little counts.

minifingerz · 05/08/2016 21:07

Nearly 40% of UK teens admit to having used drugs. Using drugs doesn't mean you're not an 'ordinary kid'.

In any case, there's nothing unusual about the OP joining the 'white flight' from areas of high immigration. I've seen many of my m/c friends up sticks and go from areas like mine.

They mainly get the willies about it when their children begin to have some autonomy and they can no longer control who they spend time with outside school.

tabulahrasa · 05/08/2016 21:16

The drugs thing...

I was a teenager in a small town in Argyll, but, I moved there from a pretty rough part of Leeds...where my dad still lives, so visited regularly and I now live in a smallish town in the central belt.

The town in Argyll is the worst of the three of them for drugs, it's not so much the experimentation or recreational use...it's that it's literally everywhere and I know of quite a few people who I was at school with who have gone on to develop heroin or other hard drug addictions. Much more proportionally than from Leeds or where I am now.

But, I don't know what Inverness is like.

Charlieismydarlin · 06/08/2016 07:19

I guess I don't see Inverness as a rural town and more of a small city. In that respect I don't think it's any worse than any small Scottish city. There are drugs around. No huge problems as far as I know.

I grew up in Edinburgh which is meant to have an enormous drug problem - or at least it did back then. It largely passed me by although many of my friends smoked weed.

For some reason, the west coast of Scotland in rural areas has a worse drug issue. I don't know why. But I had also heard that about Argyll.

I have absolutely no idea why people are no longer allowed to express concerns about the rapid pace of immigration in the UK and its undoubted effects. I think the UK is the only country where people would silence debate this way. My Polish friend (immigrant, BTW, think the UK is right to Brexit) said uncontrolled immigration at the levels seen here wouldn't be accepted in other countries (especially her own!!)

tabulahrasa · 06/08/2016 07:43

With Edinburgh I would imagine it very much depends on where in Edinburgh...

'For some reason, the west coast of Scotland in rural areas has a worse drug issue. I don't know why. But I had also heard that about Argyll.'

I have theories about Argyll.

It's a weird place in that towns don't have the same mix of incomes that they do in towns closer to cities, it's a load of really well off people and then some real deprivation side by side.

There's a real lack of opportunities for young people, no industries, uni is harder to get to for lower income families because they're all so far away and it adds another barrier.

So then you add in that the west coast is a drugs route into the country and its kind of an ideal set up to create issues.

AGrinWithoutACat · 06/08/2016 08:50

If you are interested in Inverness do look at Culloden, on the outskirts so slightly quieter (but growing fast) and the opportunities my neice has had in school have been fantastic (specifically Cradlehall area for primary)

Original poster
Rattusn · 06/08/2016 09:53

Thank you for the suggestion about Culloden.

So it seems like the drugs problem isn't too bad. At any rate it will be a lot better than here in London.

I'm very excited researching and planning our move.

OP posts:
ocelot41 · 06/08/2016 09:59

Go for it if you want to OP! We are moving from Sarf London to Edinburgh at the end of this month, partly for job, partly for lifestyle reasons. We want to be able to get to the hills easily but still want the buzz of a (more relaxed) capital city. I see why you fell in love with the Highlands - at the same time that is a mighty big change. Any chance of spending a longer period in your chosen location at a less than idyllic time of year to see if it still rocks your world, say on a rainy Tu in Feb?

Katedotness1963 · 06/08/2016 11:17

Surprised that people think the drugs problem in Inverness is not that bad. When I live at home I go to Inverness three times a year and two out of the last three times I've seen drug related incidents. One in the mall there in FalconSquare where the police where dragging two guys out that were caught shooting up in the bathrooms on the top floor.