Concealing (early) pregnancy to friends, AIBU?

[Sassypants82]

Found out I'm pregnant last week, DH & I are absolutely thrilled etc. I'm currently approx 5 weeks & only one of my Sils knows (drunken excited big mouthed DH... ).

Planned to say nothing until 12 weeks or so. Have a few weddings between now & then, but should manage fine 'hiding' it at them. I also have a night away with friends in 3 weeks which is likley to be very boozy. Its an annual overnight shopping trip we take & involved wine with lunch & continues really until the early hours with plenty of food & drinks all night. I usually enthusiastically take part, but obviously can't drink this year. I was initially going to cancel, using some last minute excuse but for a number of reasons I feel that I need to still go.. They're likley to immediately guess why, if I'm not drinking and I don't want to feel pressure to 'fess up at this early stage. The old' I'm on antibiotics' won't wash... Guess I'm looking for advice on how to get through it fooling them, or a very good excuse for not drinking that might be plausible. Any tips would be welcome!

My friends saw through my excuses in about 35 seconds when I was pregnant.

What I realized, though, was although the convention is that you don't tell people for the first 3 months.... Actually, who will you need support and help from if anything goes wrong? The marvellous Worra once wrote a post saying she told friends and family before the pee was dry on the stick. I totally "got" that.

Tell them early. Warn them you're telling them early. If you're the first in your set to get pregnant, warn them that you're not supposed to tell for the first 3 months in case anything goes wrong.

I'm sure your pregnancy will be fine, and congrats.

I got a huge telling off from friends on a night out for drink driving . I had to explain that yes I had been drinking out of a wine glass all night but it was appletizer in the glass. This could be an option.

If you're a known piss artist they will guess in approximately 35 seconds. And that's generous, sorry :)

I'm like worra and told everyone whilst the stick was still wet but I'd never have kept a lid on it due to my fondness for the ale.

Congratulations. I'd just come out of the closet if I were you, it's much easier.

Are you driving there? I'd make up an excuse that means you may need to go home last minute. 'Oh I'm not drinking, the to be honest the cats not well, DH promised to keep me updated but if anything happens I want to be able to get back quickly'

If not I'd just have a glass of coke in a tumbler a couple times with ice, then just have soft drinks. 'It's going straight to my head, I'm pacing myself' Once they're drunk they won't notice. Buy the first round, soft drink as you're pacing yourself second round, third round no one will notice anymore. If someone gets very drunk very quickly, take to mother hen duties.

Don't fake it and pretend to be drinking, even if they don't see through it on the night (v.likely) someone will remember afterwards and wonder why you were getting pissed when you must have known you were pg or why you were faking it. I'd definitely go with the 'staying dry because of tww while ttc' - then there's no pressure on you to talk about it, you don't have to spend the whole night in some secret performance and when you do want to announce it there'll be no 'story' to have to go back on.

Thanks ladies, really appreciate all the comments / suggestions.
So I've decided I'm definitely going, it is mean to cancel last minute & I also want to hang out with my friends anyway, so not going to pass up the opportunity.
I get that why people say it's easier to just tell them, but I just don't want to yet. I want to make sure everything is OK.. I've just come back from a group holiday with family (found out the day before we left) & had a glass of wine here & there while away, so definitely wouldn't worry about having one, to throw them off the scent. The wine in a different bottle could work great for back at the house too - thanks for that!

Anyway, i'll have a think about it & see how it goes, perhaps I'll feel more comfortable telling them in a few weeks when I'm feeling more confident about the pregnancy.

Thanks again

Yeah, also see the wisdom in not lying... I would rather not. Perhaps just not drinking & if they suspect, so be it, is the way to go!

If you want a medical reason to not drink that isn't "I'm on antibiotics" you can say you've got really bad heartburn and are waiting for a scope - also works for avoiding caffeine and any foods you might normally eat but have gone off/can't have. Scope date can be scan date and you can come clean after that...

Why bother? They're your friends and telling people will not doom a pregnancy.

Personally I would just tell them, if they are close friends like they seem to be.

I had a missed miscarriage last month and we had planned to not tell anyone until the dating scan- unfortunately it was then we found out the bad news.

I then told all family/friends the news all at once, I'm pregnant/miscarriage.

Next time (fingers crossed) I'm going to just go ahead & tell close friends.

It's a personal choice but that's my perspective.

I think my point is, I've had lots of support from close friends following my MMC.

It wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome whether I'd told the world or not.

Having been through it I'm not somebody who could have just kept quiet & between me and DH re miscarriage.

I needed to tell family/friends to almost validate the pregnancy, that it really had happened (only has pos preg test, no early scans)

Main thing- spending all your time trying to hide it, throwing drinks away, pretending to have booze in your glass etc...sounds exhausting & not really that enjoyable