Aibu to just not get it. I'm afraid to tell dh I'm pregnant.

[makingacupoftea]

I am pregnant . This is dc 7. We planned the first 5 and then I had a coil fitted. Dc6 was conceived with the coil In place.

Dh had a vasectomy a few months ago we have been using condoms until we get the result of the test back. My period is late, I just took a first response. Positive. Faint but positive.took a second test a few hours later also positive but actually darker.

I just can't understand when I got pregnant. I don't get it . Dh is not going to be happy.

Aibu to be so confused? I feel so lucky in one way that o have 6 children I have also had 4 miscarriages so I know how precious they are! But still the chances of getting pregnant with a cool in and then through a vasectomy and condom must be tiny. I feel like I'm living in someone's idea of a joke....

Sorry I not u!

why the question marks?

IF she's already conceived on the coil once, and her DH's snip hasn't worked (or he hasn't been knocking them out regularly enough to clear the live sperm) then its not implausible that a condom fail would result in a pregnancy!

What a shock. Life is funny isn't it. I can't have children.
I wish you all the best OP. You can't have anticipated this. There was nothing more you could do to prevent pregnancy.

Why not get an abortion?

Sorry, "get" sounds harsh - "consider" is better.

Pregnancy with the coil is not common but not unheard of. Especially after 5 kids. Again, a vasectomy and condoms aren't 100%. You're either very unlucky or...

I'm still shocked that you have the energy to have sex with 6 kids!! Not helpful I know

If an abortion isn't for you, could you consider adoption?

I've fallen pregnant on most forms of contraception when using correctly, I was also told after DS2 that I couldn't have anymore children, I have had 2 more (whilst using contraception) it happens. I hope your DP will support you OP.

It's not a vasectomy or could fail really. It's a just condom fail.

Live sperm is present in a man for a while and he has to (ahem) clear it out before his test.
Perhaps the vasectomy hasn't worked, but I'll guess he hadn't cleared all his live sperm out when the condom failed.

Chances are that his test will come back clear.

Just personal belief that I wouldn't have an abortion . Another baby would be welcome into our family, we have room and we both work so I will get maternity pay etc.

I've got 5 DCs and only one of them was planned. I've conceived on the pill, using condoms and with a coil. It happens. I'd tell your DH, he may well surprise you. Mine did! The one thing I wouldn't advise is an abortion without telling him. It's your body and you do whatever feels right, but it needs to be a joint decision. Whatever you decide now, I'd consider whether a hysterectomy might be the way to go after this one. Good luck OP

Ah ok. I think this is a condom use fail then.

Really think you just need to tell him and I hope he is more positive than you fear.

If you already have 6 will one more really make that much difference?

:o

Unless you actually have 7 DC I don't think you can say! I would be overwhelmed myself and pretty shocked in OP's position.

You need to tell him OP. See it as something you are both going to have to discuss and get your heads round, together. It's no one's fault. It sounds like it's very early so give yourselves a bit of time to talk and think.

I'm not a huge advocate of fate - but I'm sure this is a fate baby! I imagine the odds are MINISCULE!

Sorry, I should say, congratulations. I'm sure your H will get over the shock, as will you. This is not your fault, it's not his.

Not really bomfunk, it's just a condom failure. OP hasn't got the coil anymore and her husband hasn't been given the all clear after the vasectomy so the odd's really aren't that high.

OP, if another baby will be welcomed and it will just be a shock to the system for a while tell your husband, today.

How old are your children now? I'm assuming that there won't be a huge age gap. I hope you've kept everything

I just had a coil. DH and I have talked about what will happen if I get pregnant on it, and we are both 100% in agreement - I'll abort. We don't want more children. Hence, the coil.

Feel no shame in getting rid if that's what you want, OP. No one should be forced into a child they do not want and did all they could to prevent. None of this 'it's a gift' malarky. This isn't luck or fate or magic angels. Your body, your choice.

Afraid is quite a powerful word to use OP and it doesn't seem to tie in with what you have said re DH in subsequent posts. Are you worried he will think you have slept with someone else? no idea when you would actually get time to do that with 6 children

If I'm reading it right, OP didn't plan this baby but can come to terms with having another one. She's not convinced that her DH will feel the same. I was in that boat when I found out I was pregnant the last time. I was really "afraid" that he would want me to have a termination, that I wouldn't want to have. I was wrong and after about a minute of shocked silence, he embraced the pregnancy. (He did go for the snip pretty fast after that though)

I was told after baby number 5 that a coil was not considered as effective so to avoid relying on one.

For some reason almost every single HCP I come across is trying to talk me out of getting sterilised
Anyway I am going off on a tangent.

It sounds like your concerned about causing him worry rather than afraid.

Just talk to him. You know your DH we don't

namechanging that's unbelievably harsh. pro - choice does not mean pro - abortion, remember. It means pro - choice