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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that reading erotic fiction is OK?

65 replies

anyhue · 31/07/2016 09:30

Following a discussion with some of my female friends over drinks last night...afterwards I was left feeling a bit strange defending a position that reading erotic fiction is "OK" or "acceptable"?

I know there is a range of content, but if you select content you like, then for me it is just fantasy, nobody else involved.

I've not read the "shades of grey" stuff (I like to read books and read so many bad reviews of them that I wouldn't even go there), we were talking about reading online web site fiction, fan fiction, etc. More short stories, rather than a book.

AIBU to think reading erotic fiction is my choice, and it's "OK"?

OP posts:
lionheart · 31/07/2016 09:31

YANBU. What did they say?

Birdsgottafly · 31/07/2016 09:36

It's very odd that you had to 'defend' your opinion on something that isn't impacting on someone else. I'd say that it was them that have issues, not you.

Or, did the discussion get more in depth, because you'd been drinking?

Either way, you get to decide what you read. I can't believe that someone would tell you that it's wrong, they're very strange.

IAmNotAMindReader · 31/07/2016 09:39

What do you mean they think it's not OK? Do they see it as cheating? Or immoral as a whole?

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout · 31/07/2016 09:42

YA Def NBU

Each to their own! I don't read sci-fi because I don't like it, but why shouldn't you if it's your thing, or you're in the mood for it? It won't affect me and you'll enjoy it.

Thingiebob · 31/07/2016 09:43

Why did you have to defend it?

Pipistrelle40 · 31/07/2016 09:44

Of course it is OK. Your choice what you want to read. Nothing more enjoyable than curling up with your Kindle and reading something a bit cheeky.

Isn't there a poster who comes on MN sometimes who writes thes types of book? Maybe wrong but think have have seen something a while ago. (Not me incidently - just had to rejoin, long standing member who has lost login details for about the hundredth time)

Hensintheskirting · 31/07/2016 09:45

Why on earth did they think it was not ok? It's harming no one, no real people are involved (so there's no one to coerce or mis treat) I can see nothing wrong with it at all if that's what floats your boat!

Fortitudine · 31/07/2016 11:44

Nothing wrong with it at all. I think there's a good degree of snobbery around opinions like this, especially in light of 50 Shades of Grey. If you enjoy it, read it! I've had to defend my penchant for Mills and Boon in the past, and frankly I don't give a fuck what others think, and neither should you. I work in a library and we had a display of romance and erotica. One guy dismissed it loudly as "shite" while checking out the works of a juvenile, misogynistic sci-fi writer whose doorstep sized books could do with the services of a bloody good editor. Each to their own...

TheNaze73 · 31/07/2016 11:51

Each to their own I think. YANBU

hazeimcgee · 31/07/2016 11:52

Echo previous losts, what were they saying to suggest it wasn't?

I'd be weirded out if my friends liked reading violent, rape fantasy stuff or underage fantasy stuff but that's only cos i'd wonder how much drops into real life.

Yanbu

hazeimcgee · 31/07/2016 11:52

Oohh which sci fi writer??

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 31/07/2016 11:54

You read what the fuck you like.

Like reading about erotic fiction? Then read about it.

anyhue · 31/07/2016 17:12

To reply to some of the above, and the criticism (from some few but not all of my friends)

  1. erotic fiction is basically porn? Technically I guess it does qualify as pornography. But if you take that line there is a huge range in what could be classified as that. The stuff I'd mention reading was what I'd classify as mainstream and nothing too unusual (OK, I admit it's short stories on literotica).I really do feel OK about reading that from time to time.
  1. cheating? I share an iPad with DH, at various times I'm sure he's seen what I've read (if I'd left a page open) and he has never ever mentioned it.

To be honest, thinking about it a bit more as I'm sober today, it was more of silly discussion/argument following a little (but not a lot) too much to drink.

I guess I was taken aback at some of the comments from some of the friends, I agree to disagree, thus my original post.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/07/2016 17:14

It's not porn because the definition (-graphy) involves something visual.

Atinybittiredandsad · 31/07/2016 17:21

Strange friends. Read what you like.

Savagebeauty · 31/07/2016 17:23

Good grief. There are some pofaced people about . Reading erotic fiction is cheating?????

Dozer · 31/07/2016 17:24

It's not porn and unlike porn doesn't involve people being exploited.

Notagainmun · 31/07/2016 17:26

Any recommendations?

Thefitfatty · 31/07/2016 17:28

Well. Depends what section of lierotica I suppose, there's the rape section, the incest section, the barely legal section...

My personal belief is there is no harm in reading, but given others views of porn...you're in tricky territory

Thefitfatty · 31/07/2016 17:30

Dozer that's interesting, so if it was erotic fiction involving children it would be ok?

Jackie0 · 31/07/2016 17:30

What a strange stance your friends have.
I know some religions have a problem with masturbation , I assume they don't object on religious grounds ?

allegretto · 31/07/2016 17:30

Surely people who object to porn usually object to the exploitation of the actors - but in a book....there aren't any!

WiddlinDiddlin · 31/07/2016 17:32

Read what you like - I might go so far as to say its even more fun writing it... but each to their own.

What 'goes' in a relationship is between the people in that relationship - personally I'd run a mile from a relationship where mainstream erotic literature OR soft porn were considered 'cheating'... maybe other people wouldnt..

Homeriliad · 31/07/2016 17:34

Regardless of whether it is or isn't porn, it still propagates the idea of women as sexual beings and should be banned.

Jackie0 · 31/07/2016 17:44

Not necessarily homer, there is a massive variety of erotica to reflect the variety of tastes

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