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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that reading erotic fiction is OK?

65 replies

anyhue · 31/07/2016 09:30

Following a discussion with some of my female friends over drinks last night...afterwards I was left feeling a bit strange defending a position that reading erotic fiction is "OK" or "acceptable"?

I know there is a range of content, but if you select content you like, then for me it is just fantasy, nobody else involved.

I've not read the "shades of grey" stuff (I like to read books and read so many bad reviews of them that I wouldn't even go there), we were talking about reading online web site fiction, fan fiction, etc. More short stories, rather than a book.

AIBU to think reading erotic fiction is my choice, and it's "OK"?

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 31/07/2016 17:51

I recently read The Butterfly Summer by Harriet Evans. (it was fab and if you like your novels with a twist at the end this is for you)

There are scenes in this novel between two women which i dont consider to be explicit but some would. This is mainstream fiction and i think its great to see more diversity in mainstream fiction.

Ive read a lot of books in my time including the Black Lace ones back in the 90s and some of the BL ones were good.......other BL ones not to my taste.

I like many different authors.

Homer are you saying that women are not sexual beings. Because there is a difference between saying that and saying that women arent ONLY sexual beings.

steff13 · 31/07/2016 17:55

Regardless of whether it is or isn't porn, it still propagates the idea of women as sexual beings and should be banned.

I am a woman and a sexual being. Most of us are, aren't we?

MitzyLeFrouf · 31/07/2016 18:38

Regardless of whether it is or isn't porn, it still propagates the idea of women as sexual beings and should be banned.

Firstly, nonsense. Secondly, how could erotic fiction possibly be banned?

NapQueen · 31/07/2016 18:41

Do you think maybe they just got a bit embarrassed about the topic and felt it more comfortable to deny reading it/be mock shocked?

Craftycah · 31/07/2016 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklesilverglitter · 31/07/2016 18:58

Nothing wrong with some erotic fiction, I've read it for years. You shouldn't have to defend reading it

I am a woman, I am a sexual being

OnionKnight · 31/07/2016 19:02

Regardless of whether it is or isn't porn, it still propagates the idea of women as sexual beings and should be banned.

Grin

Okay I'll bite, how do you propose banning it?

Savagebeauty · 31/07/2016 19:09

Oh don't be so ridiculous homer.

MitzyLeFrouf · 31/07/2016 19:19

I'm picturing a booming trade in bootleg erotica once the ban comes in. Patricia bashes out A Hard Act To Follow at the kitchen table and sells copies to the ladies in her local WI branch for a healthy profit.

NeedAnotherGlass · 31/07/2016 19:25

it still propagates the idea of women as sexual beings
I'm sure it's an intentionally goady post but just for the record, I am a woman and am very much a sexual being.
I also happen to enjoy erotic fiction (I would not include that tripe 50 shades in that)

HelenaDove · 31/07/2016 19:30

50 Shades WAS a load of tripe. I read the blogs about it. The grammar in them was bloody awful.

What made 50 Shades sucessful was their PR team.

BuggersMuddle · 31/07/2016 19:34

I have had this argument before and whilst some things may be distasteful, it's simply not like porn because there is no exploitation of a human being needed to create it. (I'm not saying all porn is exploitation, although I know many people do argue that, but it's clear that exploitation exists in the industry).

I don't read a lot of out and out erotica these days because frankly, most of it is shit. I am quite partial to a bit of risqué urban fantasy though. Can't see what the hell is wrong with that. It's imaginative escapism, not pneumatic tits and the shaved bits with fake moaning.

Tbh even my parents had no issues with me reading stuff that was a bit crude growing up (Fanny Hill at 24, Lady Chatterley shortly after). Words in a page is just not the same as live action pornography.

BuggersMuddle · 31/07/2016 19:35

Um, 24 should be 14. Clearly at 24 I could read whatever the hell I liked.

MerchantofVenice · 31/07/2016 19:49

Obviously there's nothing wrong with erotic fiction! Loads of 'mainstream' and very 'literary' fiction has elements of the erotic in it. I think your friends are being weird.

Tbh I also find it weird when people on MN talk about any element of fantasty being 'cheating'. Even visual porn. I am in a long,happy and faithful marriage but, erm, I find other men (celebrity and real life) attractive. I sense that some people think this is grounds for divorce.

BuggersMuddle · 31/07/2016 20:09

I think some of the visual porn issues (leaving aside exploitation which I've already mentioned) stems from the longstanding objectification if women and how we (society) determine a woman's value.

Helmetbymidnight · 31/07/2016 20:20

A ban would be great-
I used to write erotica and if it 'went underground' I'm sure my royalty cheques would be slightly larger than they are now.
(They are very small now) Smile

MermaidTears · 31/07/2016 21:06

Can anyone actually recommend me a good book? My friend has a waterproof book she reads in the bath...for..umm...her relaxation haha

AliceInHinterland · 31/07/2016 21:34

Too subtle by half Homer.
Cheesy grin next time please.

backtowork2015 · 31/07/2016 21:35

Should be banned? Then it would be taboo and twice as niceWink
I'm quite a fan and I have read and Re read and then Re read the best bits again of Nancy Friday 'woman on top', which embraces women as sexual beings.
I have an arrangement with my mate though .... if I were to die then she is required to visit and pay her respects and find an opportunity to clear my bedside table of its stash of erotica! My mum would have a heart attack if she found it .... or perhaps she wouldn't? Confused

hazeimcgee · 31/07/2016 21:47

What is lierotica??

AcrossthePond55 · 31/07/2016 21:51

It's not porn because the definition (-graphy) involves something visual.

Strictly speaking, the word pornography has it's roots in the greek words porne (prostitute) and graphein (writing). Pornographos (writing about prostitutes) evolved into 'pornography'.

Carry on.

Mrsfrumble · 31/07/2016 22:01

Hmm, this reminds me that I need to clear my browsing history of all the slash smut...

I did once see a photograph of a pompous sign outside a bookshop, saying that they didn't stock 50 Shades because it "glamorized and perpetuated abusive relationships". Don't stock because it's so badly written, but stop patronizing woman by suggesting that we can't distinguish between fiction and reality.

AliceInHinterland · 31/07/2016 22:07

50 Shades is pretty creepy though.

Mrsfrumble · 31/07/2016 22:13

Yes, it is. But I resent the idea that grown women are so easily influenced that they we shouldn't be able to read it lest we start thinking that abusive relationships are a good idea. Can you imagine a similar sign being displayed about fiction aimed at men?

JacquettaWoodville · 31/07/2016 22:15

Homeriliad is a male poster; i suspect he's trying to be pointed. Or amusing.