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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to not really know what to do

66 replies

pleasemothermay1 · 30/07/2016 20:09

A dear friend of mine has shared a picture of a golliwog sent to her I presume by Somone she knows

Now she is married to a mixed raced guy

I am balck myself and I am just not sure if I should delete her from my face book

She really helped me out in the past and has been really dear to our family

She's a lot older than me 50s and dh has pointed out for a lot of older people they have fond memories of golliwogs but my memories are just being called a wog and spat at in school😳

I read some of the post and most were just like gosh so cute or I had one as a girl loved my golly so much 🙊

OP posts:

fabulous01 · 30/07/2016 21:15

Can we please put this into perspective. She is a dear friend, helped you and your family and you are offended about one picture and you haven't spoken to her! If I was the person I would delete you and defriend you as I would expect my friends to know me well enough or to speak to me if I had offended them by accident or ignorance.
Sounds like it is ignorance but perhaps you need to grow up a bit more than she does. A friend who is dear and there for me means more than a stupid comment or post on ruddy Facebook.

Badbadtromance · 30/07/2016 21:17

I scent troll

Original poster

pleasemothermay1 · 30/07/2016 21:18

Tbh I was just shocked espically as she has a mixed raced husband

I didn't think there were people still who didn't understand the meaning of gollies

OP posts:

Marmalade85 · 30/07/2016 21:21

If her husband is mixed race that would suggest she isn't a massive racist. I think she just doesn't understand. Gollywogs were still on marmalade packaging until not the long ago.

Original poster

pleasemothermay1 · 30/07/2016 21:25

Yes
Quite I think many white people of a certain age have fond memories of the gollies

Me as a balck person growing up in the 80s/90s not so much

OP posts:

WizzardHat · 30/07/2016 21:25

It sounds like she just hasn't thought about it. It was only a few years ago that I realised what they were supposed to be; up until then I thought of them as an old fashioned doll or the figure on the marmalade jar. Maybe just mention it to her and see how she reacts - she'll probably be mortified.

Heatherplant · 30/07/2016 21:25

I had one growing up however it was called a 'Golli' never a 'Golliwog'. I never knew about the connotations of the doll until I was an adult. Using the word 'wog' in the childhood home was swearing and would have earned a clip round the ear. Obviously I now know the connotations of the doll and wouldn't purchase one for my children but appreciate it is entirely possible to share a post like that in ignorance. If I'd never left my home town and gone to uni I would still believe he was a marketing cartoon off a brand of jam and never have associated him with race in any way. Just be honest with her about how it makes you feel and why, I appreciated being told when I was although I was pretty mortified when I found out.

whatishistory · 30/07/2016 21:26

Unfortunately the image and meaning of gollywogs is not necessarily known by people of many ages. The Christmas after we moved to our current home, I walked into the GP's building to see a gollywog under the Christmas tree. I was shocked to come across that in an NHS building. I asked to speak to the practice manager and complained. She said it was donated to them by an old woman who made them & that it wasn't meant to be offensive. It never reappeared in subsequent years.

whatishistory · 30/07/2016 21:28

Should have said in my post that this was just a couple of years ago and the manager was probably in her early 30s.

ethelb · 30/07/2016 21:28

People in my (white if that is of any significance) family who are in their 50s had golliwogs that they enjoyed in their childhoods and didn't see they had racial connotations.

Then they got rid of them, I am imagining not later than the mid-1980s when the offensive nature of them became clear.

I really don't see why other people can't manage this tbh. I don't think any of them would have much to do with people who 'shared' Golliwog pics tbh.

Banana99 · 30/07/2016 21:29

My MIL was obsessed with buying DD one (and she never bought her anything) and used to go into shops asking for them. I told her if she did manage to find one I would put it in the bin, she thought they were adorable.

I had one when I was little (assume it was hand me down from an older sibling) and I loved it - but now? Not a chance.......

Has she posted it to get some kind of reaction, she must know it would?

TheBouquets · 30/07/2016 21:29

I look at all the "white" dolls, the Minion figures, and various teddies all different shapes sizes and colours. I like dolls and teddies but not minions but I do buy minions and associated items for young relatives who like them.
I had 2 dolls as a child and I still have them to this day sitting on display. I had a teddy and this teddy sits on display. I would have loved to have had a Golliwog. I never had one and probably never will because of people objecting to them. I am white and do not object to "white" dolls. I would have loved a Golliwog to this day but I was denied having this kind of doll. People object to various things including something I think is important but I don't stop people loving or hating which I like.
I just don't get all the racism stuff. I either like people or don't like them their race or colour does not come into it for me,

whatishistory · 30/07/2016 21:33

theboquets, your post makes no sense. You're comparing gollywogs to minions . There's no racial connotations whatsoever with minions.

Welshmaenad · 30/07/2016 21:37

I found out today someone I'm friends with on Facebook has s friend whose FB name is Gollie Wog. I was that it was deemed permissible.

WrappedInABlankie · 30/07/2016 21:38

I personally wouldn't. However I have never been called a "wog", my dad had one and I use to play with it. I'm mixed race, Dfather is black and so is everyone in his family.

SoupDragon · 30/07/2016 21:38

I'm a child of the 70s and had a golliwog stuffed toy plus one of the Robertsons figurines. To me they were nothing whatsoever to do with black people, they were just funny toys in the same way Minons are.

However, now I do know the history behind them and, whilst I wouldn't ditch the stuffed toy and figurine if I still had them, they would be packed away as a memory from my childhood and not on display. As a white person, it's really not my place to try and claim they are not racially offensive.

SoupDragon · 30/07/2016 21:40

I am white and do not object to "white" dolls

What a truly stupid thing to say. You really have no idea do you?

A white doll is not some caricature of the race and used to mock and taunt white people is it?

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 30/07/2016 21:44

I still have my Golli. He's gorgeous. I still have my black baby doll too. My white ones as well. As I child I loved them all. The Golli was bright, cuddly and fun.

If my mum was sent a picture of one she'd probably think about my one and forward the pic to me, the same as my Aunt (87) would.

Not being 'up' with changes in things like that doesn't make them racist.

Smurfit · 30/07/2016 21:48

Just ask her if she understands why it's inappropriate. If she does and did it anyway, move on from her. If she doesn't, then perhaps give her another chance and educate her a bit about them.

April241 · 30/07/2016 21:52

I agree that if your friend has a mixed race husband she probably doesn't know the racial connotations associated with them, maybe just speak to her next time you see her and explain. If it turns out she's well aware of what it means then that might put you in a different situation but she might be totally mortified by it.

I was in Ethiopia at the beginning of the year and they sell a beer with a golliwog picture on it, no one had any idea about the meaning now, even the group leader who is Ethiopian but has lived in the UK for around 40-odd years was oblivious so it's totally possible it's just been a misunderstanding, don't delete a dear friend without at least talking to her first :)

Topseyt · 30/07/2016 21:53

I was another who had a large golliwog toy as a child growing up in the seventies and early eighties. I also clearly recall the golliwog as part of the Robertson's marmalade logo, where you collected enough stickers or tokens and could send off for the badge.

I didn't become aware of the racial overtones attached to them until I was a young adult. I wouldn't deem them an appropriate toy for a child now. I am nearly 50.

whatishistory · 30/07/2016 21:53

I had a black doll as a child--not a gollywog. Black dolls weren't easy to find in the early 1980s, but we had lived in South Africa and my (white) parents were very sensitive to raising me fully aware of racial diversity.

WrappedInABlankie · 30/07/2016 21:55

I don't know if it makes a difference but I was born in the early 90's

RepentAtLeisure · 30/07/2016 22:00

I am white and do not object to "white" dolls. I would have loved a Golliwog to this day but I was denied having this kind of doll.
I just don't get all the racism stuff. I either like people or don't like them their race or colour does not come into it for me

I'm sorry, but you are either a bit dim or you are being disingenuous. Black dolls, like black barbies or Doc McStuffins are not objectionable.

But golliwogs don't just have a racist name, they are are designed to be caricatures of a black stereotype. How many white dolls are designed to mock white people?

MrsKoala · 30/07/2016 22:01

Nanny, wog is not an acronym for western oriental gentleman. That is an urban myth, same as 'worker of the government' and the like. See the wiki page

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