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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to only take DS1 To Florida ?

152 replies

spornersunited · 30/07/2016 18:41

DS1 is 14 and due to Building works, his school will be closed for an extra week at the end of the summer break.
I have found an amazing deal for 7 nights in Florida (less than £500 each) departing from our local airport.

DS isn't that bothered about doing all the parks he just wants to go to America,do some shopping,and visit universal studios !

AIBU to leave DS2 age 6 at home with DP ? - DP cannot take anymore annual leave and I really don't think that taking a six year old all that way for only 7 nights is a great idea plus the fact he'd be missing school and to be honest we cannot afford for more than two of us to go anyway

I will add that we have just come back from a 2 week family holiday abroad so its not like DS2 has missed out on a holiday and we are planning to do a California road trip the year after next so would do the Disney thing then.

If it was anywhere else I'd be fine with not taking DS2 but I'm not sure if its right to take one child to Disney and leave the other behind ?

OP posts:
PNGirl · 31/07/2016 00:04

It's not all about Disney! Orlando has ice cream parlours, water parks, pirate themed restaurants, bowling, arcades and mini-golf to name a few and that's just on International Drive. It's like a giant kids' paradise. I'd have been gutted to miss all that when my brother came back talking about it.

Lilacpink40 · 31/07/2016 00:06

I'd do it if your partner supports you and will give DS2 a fairly normal and positive week. As you say, DS2 has an expensive hobby, so straight away you have a good reason to say that you're taking DS1 away to be fair to him.

Some strong negativity getting directed at you here, but you know what your DSs think is fair so your decision!

DPotter · 31/07/2016 00:06

Just back from the States and with the exchange rate between the dollar and pound - its a fucking long way to go to do some shopping you can do on the average high st / shopping mall -same shops (bar one or 2), same price or more expensive. But I can't stand shopping so your call.......

Witchend · 31/07/2016 00:55

I'm certain that each one of my dc would have said, at 6yo, if I'd said I were off to Florida "are you going to Disney?".
We've never been (not even been abroad) but they would have equated the names at that age. And no, they haven't been hooked on the Disney channel either-we don't have a TV. Friends who have been have talked.

Plus I can imagine there might well be a bit of jealousy about dbro having an extra week off anyway. Going on a dream holiday is going to exacerbate that.

And those that are saying that the 6yo will have holidays without his brother when his brother is older. Well my dbr and dsis still go on the parental holiday with their families. Wouldn't myself, but they do. Plus is you're saying that then the 14yo had 8 years of holidays without the 6yo. So you can't use that to justify it.

If it was only a couple of years, you could say that you'd do the same at the same age. But saying to a 6yo you'll take him in 8 years time is about as meaningful as saying you'll take him to the moon.

RhiWrites · 31/07/2016 01:54

My mum took us to the states in turns without our day when we were 14/15ish. 2-3 year gaps between each trip. It was excellent.

I think your younger son can understand he'll get a special trip with mum when he's older.

TheDonOfDons · 31/07/2016 02:16

I'm going to Florida in September and can't imagine leaving one of my kids at home and just taking the other. I couldn't enjoy it, I'd constantly be thinking "aww DS2 would have loved this" and "DS2 would have loved to see that" I'd probably feel really guilty

TheDonOfDons · 31/07/2016 02:18

And my 6 year old DS enjoyed universal studios a lot more than Disney.

FindingRedShoes · 31/07/2016 02:56

I think it's good to have time and experiences with DC individually. Especially with that age gap, a 14-yr-old and 6-yr-old will have completely different interests.

Florida doesn't have to be about theme parks. A 14-yr-old may enjoy the space centre, the Everglades, a trip to Miami or even the Dali gallery in St Petersburg (I so want to go there). The 6-yr-old is probably too young for all of those.

I'd go, but I would make a mental note to give the younger one a similar one-to-one trip when he is old enough to chose what he wants to do.

Anonymouses · 31/07/2016 03:02

She's not going to Disney she's going to universal which is not great for a 6 year old tbh. We are here now and skipping universal as our 6 year old can't go on a huge amount of the rides.

If you can afford it go for it. You will have holidays with the little one when the older one is too old to come.

Mummyoftwo91 · 31/07/2016 03:12

I would go for it, I'm sure if it was ur dh having a boys trip taking your eldest ds instead of you people wouldn't have been so harsh...

FithColumnist · 31/07/2016 04:23

I'm just boggling at the thought of a 6 year old having a "very expensive hobby"- does he collect Fabergé eggs or something?

ohdearme1958 · 31/07/2016 04:27

Personally I think children ruin a Disney Holiday so if I were you I'd go alone.

It's what I always do. Just me. My brother. His wife.

JoandMax · 31/07/2016 04:45

I would go, enjoy the time just the 2 of you!

My parents took us all away individually when we were growing up - my brother went to Rome with my dad, my sister to Russia with my mum, I went to Sweden with both, all years apart. I can honestly say it's never ever bothered any of us in the slightest and caused zero resentment.

My 6 year wouldn't be bothered by Disney but it's never been something we've talked or planned on doing. Is it a big deal in your house?? If so you need to make sure you make it clear you aren't going for that......

Upthetree100 · 31/07/2016 05:03

Thinking the same re. the 6 year olds expensive hobby Hmm

Regardless I think it's unfair and doesn't really promote a family/team culture.

It does sound like you have your mind made up though OP so wonder how much of a difference some of these posts will make. I personally wouldn't want a 6 y/o knowing half the family is away on an exciting holiday while they have to go to school and do their reading/homework all week.

ProudAS · 31/07/2016 07:19

I haven't RTFT but gather the youngest has an expensive hobby. Also a 14 year old will not be holidaying with parents for much longer.

2StripedSocks · 31/07/2016 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsize · 31/07/2016 08:05

Can't believe you are actually considering this.

We did camping holidays every year as children. When I was 19, my dad was made redundant. He used some of the money to take my mum and brothers on a three -week 'holiday of a lifetime' to the States.

I was not invited. I knew nothing about it until they went.
Their excuse? I was working abroad at the time. I could have gone, they could have arranged it another time, but they clearly did not want me there. Backstory too.

Still hurts 20 years later.

Put yourself in DS2's shoes and think about how he will see it.

Catsize · 31/07/2016 08:06

Should say, they still talk about the holiday and the funny times. etc in my presence. If you do decide to go, at least spare DS2 that.

GreaseIsNotTheWord · 31/07/2016 08:57

Genuine question, does everyone really spend equal amounts of time/money on each of their DC's at exactly the same time so the other doesn't feel left out?

The cost really isn't the issue. Both of mine get equal opportunities.

We spend a load more on one of ds1's extra curricular activities (tennis, paid for lessons) that the equivalent activity that ds2 wanted to do (choir...free after school!). The point is that they both do an activity on Tuesday nights that they chose themselves and love.

GreaseIsNotTheWord · 31/07/2016 08:58

than the equivalent activity..

Floralnomad · 31/07/2016 09:09

I want to know what the expensive hobby is .

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 31/07/2016 09:15

Why not take him to London, Paris or New York take him shopping, go to theatre, out to dinner to museums. Still a special time for you but something his brother is too young for so won't feel so left out.

ShatnersBassoon · 31/07/2016 09:26

I'd definitely take the chance to have a bonus break, but would limit it to something a bit less 'once in a lifetime'.

I'd feel like a real heel only taking one of them, especially if the younger one's expensive hobby would preclude them from such holidays in future. A hobby at that age is presumably something you've encouraged, so if it's expensive, that's not really the kid's problem.

whatishistory · 31/07/2016 09:30

On a tangent---presumably that's flights and hotel for £500? I know flights are very cheap at the moment, but that's very cheap. I would be checking out the standard of accommodation very thoroughly.

OneInEight · 31/07/2016 10:27

I definitely would providing in the future you will do a holiday just for ds2 and you alone doing something he really wants to do. Both then will be able to do age appropriate activities rather than dragging along with what their brother wants to do. A six year old is unlikely to want to do shopping. A 14 year old is unlikely to be thrilled by the Disney parades etc. I regularly do different things with ds1 and ds2 even though they are the same age because they prefer it that way even if it means in total they do less stuff each.