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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to only take DS1 To Florida ?

152 replies

spornersunited · 30/07/2016 18:41

DS1 is 14 and due to Building works, his school will be closed for an extra week at the end of the summer break.
I have found an amazing deal for 7 nights in Florida (less than £500 each) departing from our local airport.

DS isn't that bothered about doing all the parks he just wants to go to America,do some shopping,and visit universal studios !

AIBU to leave DS2 age 6 at home with DP ? - DP cannot take anymore annual leave and I really don't think that taking a six year old all that way for only 7 nights is a great idea plus the fact he'd be missing school and to be honest we cannot afford for more than two of us to go anyway

I will add that we have just come back from a 2 week family holiday abroad so its not like DS2 has missed out on a holiday and we are planning to do a California road trip the year after next so would do the Disney thing then.

If it was anywhere else I'd be fine with not taking DS2 but I'm not sure if its right to take one child to Disney and leave the other behind ?

OP posts:
NickiFury · 30/07/2016 19:11

I wouldn't do this. However I would take them away separately for stuff they're particularly interested. Not Florida/Disney though. My kids would be broken hearted to be left behind.

averythinline · 30/07/2016 19:11

I would it's a nice opportunity to have sometime just before he goes really teenage ! But not big up the Disney stuff....with that age gap you'll be taking the younger ds to places without the older one in a few years.....by the time the younger is 14 the older will be in his 20's !

MrsHulk · 30/07/2016 19:12

Maybe check the weather before booking anything, I think that time of year is cheaper because of hurricanes? Also if by any chance you're pregnant, don't go to Florida as Zika is there!

Overall though I don't think I'd take one child on such a big trip. I do think a six year old is aware enough to realise that Florida (esp Disney) is a big thing to be left out of and to feel left out. Even if he doesn't know about Disney yet he'll work it out at some point.

bigTillyMint · 30/07/2016 19:15

What ExtraHotLatte says. There is such a big age-gap that it sounds perfectly reasonable to have a 1:1 holiday with your older one and if you really won't go to Disney, then it shouldn't be something that your DS2 feels they are missing out on.

FWIW, I took DD (was 16) to NYC for 5 days as a post-GCSES bonding hol/excuse for me to go to NYC. DS (was 14) wasn't bothered - he wouldn't enjoy a big shopping trip and we will make sure he gets a chance to do something he would enjoy next year, when DD is off gallivanting with her mates.

Bearbehind · 30/07/2016 19:17

I don't really understand the comments saying you'll do other things with DS2 when he's older.

Many people have huge changes in circumstances between having children and them leaving home.

That doesn't excuse treating them so differently at any point in time.

EverySongbirdSays · 30/07/2016 19:17

Yeah, if he just wants the shopping and the US experience, take him to New York, a kids paradise like Florida is mean.

GreaseIsNotTheWord · 30/07/2016 19:19

The 6 year old probably has no/little idea of what Florida means, it could just as well be Worthing

Definitely disagree with this.

Ds2 is 6. He is fully aware of what/where Florida is. Three out of his class have been in the past year or two and told him all about it and he would love to go.

6 year olds aren't babies. They talk, they see and know things. No chance you'd hide it from a 6 year old!

SaucyJack · 30/07/2016 19:22

What's

grumpysquash3 · 30/07/2016 19:22

My DS2 was 6 when we went to Florida. He loved it.

If DS1 isn't that fussed about doing all the parks, why not go somewhere else (e.g. New York for a weekend) which DS2 probably actually would find boring (except for M&M world).

SaucyJack · 30/07/2016 19:22

Wrong with Worthing anyway?!

EverySongbirdSays · 30/07/2016 19:22

I definitely knew what Florida was at that age. They advertise it in the front of every DVD and on kids channels.

New York on the other hand - wouldn't have had a clue.

CurlyBlueberry · 30/07/2016 19:24

I read the OP as saying she wouldn't take her teen to Disneyland if she takes him by herself, but that they would all go as a family on their California road trip next year.

Going against the grain but I would do it. We did a few separate trips in my family. Not everyone likes to do the same things, and nobody minded!

LunaMay · 30/07/2016 19:24

There's an m&m world???? Shock

GreaseIsNotTheWord · 30/07/2016 19:25

The people who say 'Oh a 6 year old won't appreciate it anyway' are kidding themselves.

Not quite Florida but we went to DLP when the dc were 2 and 4 (just turned) 2 and 4). Ds2 has vague memories but ds1 (now 8.5) has amazingly clear memories and still talks about it fondly.

CurlyBlueberry · 30/07/2016 19:25

Oh wait now I've reread. Yeah you can't take the teen to Disney but not the 6 year old! I reckon you can take one somewhere the other one wouldn't be so interested in.

incywincybitofa · 30/07/2016 19:26

There are a number of reasons Florida is cheap for that time of year- including the impending hurricanes bringing out the mosquitos in even greater numbers
If you feel you and your DS1 need some bonding time together then yes do go somewhere with him, but Florida may not be the sunshine happy break in September that you might think it will be.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/07/2016 19:28

Probably some Floridian MNers will jump on me for this but why would you go to Florida if you aren't bothered about the parks? I cam think of 10 places I'd rather go in the States, plus another 100 in Europe and around the world.

lalalalyra · 30/07/2016 19:29

I would take your eldest away for a few days for a 1:1 trip, but I wouldn't take him to a 'big' holiday place like Florida. It would certainly be very mean to take one child to Disney and not the other.

ironrooster · 30/07/2016 19:30

I think it's mean.

Suspect it's you who really wants to go to Disney. Otherwise why wouldn't you do a more grown up destination with him if he fancies America, like New York? Less likely to upset the younger one.

Personally though I wouldn't go that far afield with just one child.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 30/07/2016 19:30

I don't think there is anything wrong with taking just one DC on holiday but with lots of caveats - the other DC should understand that they will also get taken on a holiday without their siblings at a similar age, for one thing.

Taking a 14 year old to Disney and leaving a 6 yo sibling at home is really, really shabby though. A 6 year old will remember, and if you are unlucky hold it against you andDs1 for ever and ever. Way to set up one kid as the favourite, really... precisely because of all the stupid hype around Disney that a 6 yo is the absolute prime age to care about.

6 year olds want to go to Disney far more than 14 year olds do in the ordinary scheme of things, it is the stupidest holiday to decide to do as a 1:1 with a teen whilst leaving a primary school child at home to go to school!

Take your eldest somewhere else - maybe New York if it has to be America - somewhere "grown up" for the bonding and the shopping and the American experience, and be sure to make your intention to take the younger DS on his own special trip at a broadly similar age clear, and to stick to that!

I take each of my kids to London on their own at age 6 (we live abroad) - Ds3 is looking forward to his trip next year and DC1 and 2 occasionally reminisce about theirs, telling him what they most enjoyed and what he might enjoy, looking at the London pop up books and their photos from their trips with him. I also hope to take each 1 by 1 to Paris after they've done a couple of years of French, but might make that conditional on decent grades :o

Nothing wrong with a one kid trip but only if the other knows it will balance out when they are a similar age and that there are fairly firm plans about that IMO.

LilacInn · 30/07/2016 19:30

Do it, OP.

Can't believe all these "kids must be treated the same" posts.

A teen merits different treatment and privileges than a tiny child. How great for him to have the adventure of an impromptu overseas trip with his mother.

Our parents took us on 1:1 trips with them and there was no trauma. And we were raised that older kids sometimes get to do things that younger kids don't.

The little child won't make heavy weather of it if it's not presented negatively. Just be matter of fact.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 30/07/2016 19:33

Why don't you just save the money for your next holiday?

forkhandles4candles · 30/07/2016 19:34

I Would - different ages different interests and gives you a chance to talk with teenager at a crucial time in his life

Original poster
spornersunited · 30/07/2016 19:35

Sorry Just read My OP - Not planning on actually going to Disney world - just Florida !

Thanks for the mixed views.

DragonsEggsAreAllMine I do try to treat my DS's equally but not necessarily at the same time .If this were a school trip I certainly wouldn't be saying one child couldn't go purely based on the fact that it wouldn't be fair on the other. I'm only really thinking about it because of the circumstances re school and the fact that holidays obviously drop massively in price once the schools return and wouldn't have considered going normally

GreaseIsNotTheWord The thing is DS2 would be back at school so its not an option to take him - should DS1 really miss out on a trip just because his younger brother couldn't go ?

TBH I really am torn, Part of me feels that Its a great opportunity for me & DS1 to have a fun time just the two of us, and as its not somewhere where we would choose to go for our main family holiday anyway it seems like an ideal time to go.
DS2 has had a lovely holiday this year and to be fair it was probably more fun for the 6 year old than for a teenager without internet access !

Maybe I'll just have to flip a coin & hope for the best ................................

OP posts:
FruitCider · 30/07/2016 19:36

No way OP. I think your idea is incredibly cruel. Either both or none!

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