to lock myself in my room and cry?

[KellyBoo800]

I'm at work at the moment but my plans for tonight involve locking myself away and sobbing.

My best friend in the entire world, who I love so much, is pregnant. I am not. I'm now on 10 months of trying and struggling to be ok with it. I am so happy for her and am putting on my best "no honestly it doesn't upset me AT ALL" act even though it's just a big fat reminder that it's looking less and less likely to happen for me.

Luckily she is super-considerate and told me in a very sensitive way, and I know that she's not going to be rubbing my face in her pregnancy at all, or complaining about it at all, or anything like that because she really is amazing and she knows just how much I am struggling. She was terrified of telling me. I'm very excited to be an auntie to her little one but can't help feeling that I've lost my confidante. I know I can't talk to her about my struggles with ttc when she has had it so easy (she had her IUD removed two months ago and is now 7 weeks - she didn't even have a period between removal and getting pregnant). I've actually told her that DH and I have stopped trying, just so I don't have to talk about it.

To make matters worse, I really would love an April baby (which I would get if I fell pregnant this month). I'm 5 days past ovulation with very tender boobies and I'm symptom spotting like crazy, which means I'm only going to be even more heartbroken when AF inevitably turns up next weekend.

AIBU to sob and drink a lot of wine?

Boo you are a fab pal, and I'm envious of your friend! Have a lovely meal, wine, whatever will boost your mood. You deserve absolute pampering!

OP I'm also feeling quite down, I'm preying for an April baby, me and DH have been trying now for 7 months and still no joy. My bestest friend gave birth last week and I'm ecstatic for her but so down about my own situation; I have also told closest friends that were no longer trying because I can't take the pressure of people knowing and nothing happening. Hopefully we'll both get 2017 babies!! xx

I hope this is your month. You sound like a lovely supportive friend and it would be fabulous if you could be pregnant together. I'm living proof that it can take a while though - back in the days before IVF etc., my parents had me after trying for fourteen years! They'd long since given up, my mum was nearly 47 and everyone including her doctor thought I was the menopause It won't take that long for you though. Fingers crossed and unMumsnetty hugs!

Kelly BFF was able to be happy for me once she'd processed her emotions and we had a great time together when I was pregnant. She would refer to DS1 (in utero) as 'our baby' which may sound odd, but really wasn't considering our closeness. We'd been friends since we were 12 and our parents used to tell us we'd end up as conjoined twins we spent so much time together.

Things will smooth out for you. You're too close for hurt to truly divide you.